On My Mothers Language

One of the things that you have to get use to when you meet me is my colorful use of language. It’s sprinkled with Spanish, bear language, slang, feminist theory, Mobb Deep quotes and some occasional Biggie rhymes.

It’s fun.

I have been wanting to write this post for a while. But I think that watching the Zora Neal Hurston documentary tonight finally compelled me to do it.

From Baldwin, I have learned that we use language to control our environments.

So this is what I keep in mind as I write about my mothers phrases.

The first one that has been on my mind is “It’s your little red wagon, you can push it or you can pull it.”

This seems fairly innocuous but in essence, she was telling me, a five year old, it is YOUR life to do with it as you wish. It makes all the sense in the world after all of these years. Especially as I regularly make “grown folks” choices and deal with the consequences of those choices.

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The third one is “you can eat it fast, you can eat it slow, when you eat it up you ain’t getting no more.” HA! I always heard this as I like snacks. Again, this was her way of teaching me about resources and managing them, and really placing my agency, my will to act, on my mind. It made no sense at five, makes ton’s of sense now.

The fourth one is “Your ass is grass and I have the keys to the lawn mower.” #Jesusbeafence. Why couldn’t this woman just say that I was in trouble and going to be put on punishment. No, she had to show that I was in trouble and she had the key to stop or start my punishment. I like this one arguably the best. Why, because its so colorful.

This one is a little fresh, and gendered but it is what she said. The comment has to do with characterizing women who are seen as “promiscuous.” I probably shouldn’t have been listening when she made this comment, but you know children are nosy. The comment is “She will ____ a snake if you hold his head.” I kid you not. Talk about learning about how women’s sexuality is perceived and shaped from your mother. I think about that line and I just kinda shiver now, but it captures something that is both patriarchal and violent but honest in terms how are taught we see women.

I have a candy jones. During finals there are candy wrappers everywhere. As a kid I didn’t really care for sharing candy. So, my mum would say, “Renina so tight she squeak when she walk.” Still cracks me up. I am SOOOO stingy with candy I squeak when I walk. Like I am the tin man. I am better at sharing now.

What would we do without language?

Do you have any sayings from your family that make sense now, but made no sense at all when you were a kid?

Comments

  1. Rene says

    omg i love this. i have to steal the snack one !! i joke with my daughter,” yo eyes may shine, yo teeth may grit, but none of this food you ain’t gon get.” lol

    β€œIt’s your little red wagon, you can push it or you can pull it.” is what my grandma used to say about any woman in our family not willing to let go of a bad man…wow it is eerie to hear that again. i think it’s wonderful that you embrace your mother’s phrases and sayings. there’s real warmth and love in that. that’s wassup ^_^

  2. Renina says

    RENE…

    Girl. I am #shady80’s! The internet brings us together, no?

    My mother use to say that eyes may shine joint TOOO!

    That little red wagon saying is SOOOO feminist…its incredible.

    I am so happy you found my blog. Its like your brought a little piece of home to me.
    Watchu doing abroad?

    ~Renina

  3. Rene says

    omg girl, i used to kick it at the 85 minipark lol, and i went to Webster Academy on 80th and Birch from 2nd thru 6th grade. i’m happy i found your blog too! i was like omg she’s from the East O! *adds to favorites* lol

    i’m here with the my spouse, and my daughter til 2012(military)and i’m missing home something fierce. this ain’t the first time i been abroad tho, but i think this is the most homesick i’ve ever been hehe.

    every year i find myself drawing from the arsenal of funny, and common sense sayings of the women in my family. some of them earn me the side eye from my kid, and i have to laugh because i was the same as her back then. i was told,”a hard head makes a soft ass”, a whole lot…i wonder why? now as an adult when peeved to the point of losing my shit, i say,”got me out here cussin like a bear house woman!” now i don’t know what a bear house woman is, but my grandamama used to say that lol. ok imma stop rambling, and i love your blog!

  4. Renina says

    Girl.

    My first City of Oakland Summer youth Job was @ the Mini park, AND I learned how to shoot a MEAN jump shot practicing
    at the court @ 85th street houses. #ummhmm

    I am glad you Love the blog and you found a little piece of home here. I am going to try and put up some picks of Oakland on
    Tumblr for you. There are few things more painful than being home sick. #ummhmm.