On My Mothers Language

One of the things that you have to get use to when you meet me is my colorful use of language. It’s sprinkled with Spanish, bear language, slang, feminist theory, Mobb Deep quotes and some occasional Biggie rhymes.

It’s fun.

I have been wanting to write this post for a while. But I think that watching the Zora Neal Hurston documentary tonight finally compelled me to do it.

From Baldwin, I have learned that we use language to control our environments.

So this is what I keep in mind as I write about my mothers phrases.

The first one that has been on my mind is “It’s your little red wagon, you can push it or you can pull it.”

This seems fairly innocuous but in essence, she was telling me, a five year old, it is YOUR life to do with it as you wish. It makes all the sense in the world after all of these years. Especially as I regularly make “grown folks” choices and deal with the consequences of those choices.

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The third one is “you can eat it fast, you can eat it slow, when you eat it up you ain’t getting no more.” HA! I always heard this as I like snacks. Again, this was her way of teaching me about resources and managing them, and really placing my agency, my will to act, on my mind. It made no sense at five, makes ton’s of sense now.

The fourth one is “Your ass is grass and I have the keys to the lawn mower.” #Jesusbeafence. Why couldn’t this woman just say that I was in trouble and going to be put on punishment. No, she had to show that I was in trouble and she had the key to stop or start my punishment. I like this one arguably the best. Why, because its so colorful.

This one is a little fresh, and gendered but it is what she said. The comment has to do with characterizing women who are seen as “promiscuous.” I probably shouldn’t have been listening when she made this comment, but you know children are nosy. The comment is “She will ____ a snake if you hold his head.” I kid you not. Talk about learning about how women’s sexuality is perceived and shaped from your mother. I think about that line and I just kinda shiver now, but it captures something that is both patriarchal and violent but honest in terms how are taught we see women.

I have a candy jones. During finals there are candy wrappers everywhere. As a kid I didn’t really care for sharing candy. So, my mum would say, “Renina so tight she squeak when she walk.” Still cracks me up. I am SOOOO stingy with candy I squeak when I walk. Like I am the tin man. I am better at sharing now.

What would we do without language?

Do you have any sayings from your family that make sense now, but made no sense at all when you were a kid?