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#BlackGirlsarefromtheFuture @ SXSW Interactive!
^^^This is that NY Taco Fun…I needs that Austin Taco Fun in my life.
#blackGirlsAreFromtheFuture #ForReal.
My presentation proposal, “Race, Sex and Blogging: The Limits, The Possibilities” has been accepted into SXSW Interactive.
Please help take #blackGirlsfromthefuture to Austin, so we can GET LIVE!
The more votes I get, the more likely I will be chosen. This isn’t just about me ya’ll, this is about the blog, our conversations about race, sexuality, hip hop, feminism, Errythang. Needless to say I am juiced.
When intercourse becomes the task then you will experience buy levitra in canada swelling, pain or burning sensation while urinating. Today, a great number of people are suffering from several best price for levitra health problems. tadalafil for women When you practice repeating the word YES, just make sure your body FEELS it each time. We can say these canadian pharmacies cialis both are two parts of the body.
#allWeDO is win.
Please RT, Facebook and spread the Love.
Every vote counts.? Much appreciated.
~Nains.
On Dating a Giver
^^^ #NomNomNominaction
For Josephine & For T.dot.
Oooh, Uh Ohhh Dropped your knot, scooped it up put in my sock… ~e. badu
I turned around and I realized that I am dating a giver.
Someone who never lets my IPA get too low,? who makes sure the waitress brings my water with no ice, who understands that I am a monster until I have that iced coffee in the morning, someone who sent me? a text message last week that said “groceries bought.” #ummp.
This was hard to do at first.
I enjoy my freedom.
As women we are socialized to get with the most affluent, attractive person that we meet.? So when all the niceness was getting thick, I was like wait, does this mean I am WITH this person now?
I thought about it, and I have decided to enjoy the attention AND maintain my autonomy.
For me to enjoy this kind of attention, at my own pace and keep my freedom is new and I often don’t know what I am doing. When I admit that though, I remind myself that I am a human being and that I don’t have to be perfect.
I mean, I spoke at the Black Arts Festival in Philly in May and the man came down to meet me and then coordinated his ticket so we could leave Philly together. Who does this? Really?
Him: Yeah, I’ll come see you. Let me know.
Me: You gone come all the way to Philly to marinate with me?
Him: Yeah, just let me know.
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#Ummp.
A month ago, speaking to Court Bear, my dating coach and sister, about my desire to run she said, unlace the sneakers, stay still and enjoy it.
It felt good to hear her say that. I mean, the only reason to run from a person treating you nice is because you are scared they are going to leave.
And because I KNOW that I don’t control outcomes, me running would only hurt myself. Not very vulnerable or fearless either.
Speaking to Josephine about it, we were discussing what it means to be desired and just cared for on g.p. and how odd it can feel because as women in general and Black women specifically we are socialized to put everyone else first; Our momma’s, our children, our partners, our jobs.
Never us.
So to be on the receiving end of some care is both comforting and challenging.
Its comforting because its nice when someone makes a snack that YOU like, that YOU can’t wait to eat. Not eating on some obligatory steez, but on some, I REALLY LIKE THIS, nom, nom, nom, and MORE nom.
Its challenging because it has forced me to think about what kind of treatment I have accepted in the past, and the kind of treatment that I will require in the future. There is also the challenge of not comparing how one person treats me versus another, in terms of levels of consideration while dating. I can’t help it sometimes tho’.
You date a giver before?
Were you the giver?
You run? You stay?
How did it feel?
How Adrienne Rich Helped Me Forgive My Ex.
My ex contacted me a month ago. For many of my long time readers, ya’ll know that I had a torrid affair with Filthy. When you are? a#blackgirlfromthefuture and you ride with your partner, thirteen hours, while being sick, to meet and kick it with his family who is White, that’s Love on both ends.
Well, he contacted me via email a month ago taumbout congratulations on completing your first year of grad school.
We ain’t spoke since last year when the relationship ended. So, I was like ummmmm….why is the first point of contact an email? However, I found out from a mutual friend that he was considering calling but he hesitated.
The petty part of me was like the fuck?
The adult part of me was like, well, he doing what he could do at the time, I should go ahead and just let him live.
Last Sunday, looking for an earring underneath my dresser, I found a book,? “On Lies, Secrets, and Silence” by Adrienne Rich, that he gave me last August. I guess it fell back there when I moved. He didn’t give me books. He let me hold them, all the time. But his books were his books, and I get that as a scholar. You be needing to go back to your copy to refer to notes in margins and what not and to clarify quotes.
In finding and re-reading this book I realized that I could not be tight with him over our recent communications. Reading this book and understanding that that he gave it to me. This man Loved me. In fact, I think he gave me the copy that he got from a garage sell.? A first edition copy. #ummhmm. #Love.
There are three sections that really get at why this book is special to me.
The first is:
Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence grappling, with hard work….It means insisting that those to whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind. ~from Claiming an Education
The second is:
Women and men do not receive an equal education because outside of the classroom women are not perceived as sovereign beings but as prey…. the capacity to think independently, to take intellectual risks, to assert ourselves mentally is inseparable from our physical way of being in the world, our feelings of personal integrity. If it is dangerous for me to walk home late of an evening from the library because I am a woman and I can be raped then, how self possessed, how exuberant can I feel as I sit and work at the library? How much of my working energy is drained by by the subliminal knowledge that as a woman, I test my physical right to exist every time I go out alone. ~from Taking Women Students Seriously
This line killed it for me, “because outside of the classroom women are not perceived as sovereign beings but as prey.”
The third? is:
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I think of myself as a teacher of language: that is, as someone for whom language has implied freedom, who is trying to aide others in freeing themselves through the written word, and above all through learning to write it for themselves. I cannot know what it is they need to free, or what words they need to write; I can only try with them to get an approximation of the story that they want to tell. ~from Teaching Language in Open Admissions
“I cannot know what it is they need to free” #ummhmm. Her pedagogy weighs a ton.
Rereading this book, I realized that I was tripping because the communication didn’t happen the way that I preferred.
HA! Thats life.
More than anything, this book helped me to make sense of this last year of school, of my process of claiming my education and my voice in the classroom, on THIS blog and publicly, in real time on Twitter.
How can I be tight with a person who helped me do that? #Ummhmm.
When its time for us to chat we will. Until then. God bless him. Change me. #ummhmm.
Besides resentment and Love can’t live in the same heart, and if? I’m tight with him I am impacting my ability to see new Love awesomeness on the horizon.
I felt vulnerable writing this. But I posted it anyways.
#wingsup.
You forgive anyone lately?
Why or why not?
You know Adrienne Rich’s work?
Appreciation for Martha Southgate
This one is for Jonzey and all the Black girls in the world who live to tell stories.
I reread Martha Southgate’s Third Girl From the Left this week and I was moved by the fact that I read this book in 2005 when it came out, but I think that the fact that I am five years older, have lost and gained loves, lost and gained apartments, broken hearts and got my heart broken, lost and gained careers. I just look at the book, the importance of the narrative differently now.
The book is about a Black woman from Oklahoma who moves to LA in the 70’s with dreams of making it big in Hollywood. What follows is a story about Black women’s dreams, Black women desiring and loving Black women, constructions of family outside of the nuclear, and what happens to your dreams when they don’t turn out the ways you expect them to.
Real Talk.
Here? are of couple of excerpts that jumped off? of the page:
Tamara Muses on the Politics of Getting her Film Made and her Film School Boyfriend
They made up. They didn’t have time to keep fighting anyway. That as the other thing between them; the money and the time. They never talked about it. He was able to get enough money from his parents to hire a professional cinematographer. And she couldn’t. She didn’t have anyone to shoot for her. She had grabbed every grant possible, begged for every loan imaginable. Nothing had come through.? She could not afford a crew. They were talking about it again on this night. Colin knew she was upset, even though her eyes were resolutely dry…..
Tamara Meets her Grandmother at Nearly 28 Years Old
“Well, I never. A black girl making movies. I never thought I’d see such a thing. I love the pictures. Your mama ever tell you that? We used to go every Saturday, rain or shine, no matter wht. We saw everything. You ask her.”? She stopped again briefly. “Whenever we wasn’t fightng, we was at the pictures. We saw everything. Ask her about Carmen Jones.” ….”I don’t know why you’d want to make a movie about an old woman like me. But you sure can….”
Honestly, we need to pool the money together to make this book into movie.
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Cast who we want or who Martha Southgate wants, and screen it in our living rooms, lounges, screening rooms.
Ms.? Southgate has given us a gift in this book. Rather than gripe and moan about new ways in which Nina Simone is being disrespected or Tyler Perry’s latest iteration of normalizing violence against us, only when we control how our stories are told will we be allowed to be human in our art.
Speaking of Black peoples stories, my homie James just cut a trailer for his new film, The Bicycle. Check it out here.
Have you read Martha Southgate’s work?
What are you reading now?
Crowdsourcing Black Women’s Stories?
#ummp. #ummhmm.
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