Black Women x The Streets x Harassment

This “Black men walking on the outside of Black women on
the street” business touched a cord here on my blog, and
opened up a really interesting discussion on race, gender
roles, Black men and women, and patriarchy. I plan on doing
a some follow up posts to address some of the issues that
came up. This post is one of them.

The issue that I want to address is how a woman’s ability
TO BE IN THE STREET is connected to her ability to participate
in public life, in Democracy.

Tonight I reread Cynthia Grant Bowman’s paper, “Street
Harassment and the Informal Ghettoization of Women”
which was published in the Harvard Law Review. I am going
to provide some quotes from the paper then offer some
comments.

Street Harassment and Liberty for Women

The liberty of women, in this most fundamental sense of freedom from restraint, is substantially limited by street harassment, which reduces their physical and geographical mobility and often prevents them from appearing alone in public places. In this sense, street harassment accomplishes an informal ghettoization of women — a ghettoization to the private sphere of hearth and home.

If we can’t be on the street, we can’t feel comfortable in public, if we can’t feel comfortbable in public how will we participate in a democracy?

Working Definition of Street Harassment

Street harassment occurs when one or more strange men accost one or more women . . . in a public place which is not the woman’s/women’s worksite. Through looks, words, or gestures the man asserts his right to intrude on the woman’s attention, defining her as a sexual object, and forcing her to interact with him.

So, if I am on the street, and you are saying something to me, you are trying to FORCE me to interact with you. Patriarchy says that men, by virtue of simply being born biologically men have the right to dominate over women and children, in the home and the street. This street shit is patriarchy in action.

The Purpose of Harassment: “Know your place, Celie.”

The first function of public harassment is to reinforce spatial boundaries that drastically limit women’s “sphere.” It clearly stakes out public space as male space. Women who want to be outside their homes must do so at their own risk and with the full knowledge that at any time they can be publicly humiliated or “complimented.” Women are at all times subject to public scrutiny.

The purpose of men saying shit is to let me know that I am always on display and subjected to something popping off? Shit is tiring. It must be how Black men feel in terms of dealing with the police.

I Guess I am Suppose to “Play My Position”

Unlike men, women passing through public areas are subject to “markers of passage” that imply either that women are acting out of role simply by their presence in public or that a part of their role is in fact to be open to the public. These “markers” emphasize that women, unlike men, belong in the private sphere, the sphere of domestic rather than public responsibility. Ironically, men convey this message by intruding upon a woman’s privacy as she enters the public sphere.

I never tripped off of me not being allowed in the street as being connected to me needing to remain at home, as it is my “proper” place. But this makes sense.
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Freedom, The Streets and Autonomy

Central to the freedom to be at ease in public spaces is the capacity to pass through them while retaining a certain zone of privacy and autonomy — a zone of interpersonal distance that is crossed only by mutual consent. If, by contrast, women are subject to violation of that zone of personal privacy when they enter public areas, that very invasion of privacy effectively drives women back into the private sphere, where they may avoid such violations. Thus, by turning women into objects of public attention when they are in public, harassers drive home the message that women belong only in the world of the private.

“… zone of interpersonal distance that is crossed only by mutual consent.”

Its bugged how I immediately notice how men treat me on the street when I am walking with another man. I also use to notice how they treated me substantially different when I was on the street a White man. And lets not start with being on the street with a woman.

Street Harassment and the Rape Test

Furthermore, rapists often harass women on the street and violate their personal space in order to determine which women are likely to be easy targets — a practice called “rape-testing.” Because potential rapists frequently select their victims by looking for women who appear vulnerable to assault, they may approach a potential victim and “test” her by a variety of means, including making lewd or insinuating remarks, to see if she can be intimidated. If the target reacts in a passive fashion to the harassment, the rapist may assume that she will probably not fight back, and he is more likely to rape her. Thus, the connection between rape and harassment is not just in the mind of the woman.

This rape test + harassment connection is real. Who knew that the ways in which we responded to a comment sent a signal to would be rapist?

From Friendly to Hostile to Bitch in 10 Seconds

Hey, why so serious, honey? Give us a little smile.” My sense of humor, he didn’t know, was temporarily out of service, so of course I didn’t give him a little smile. But in not smiling, I had again violated the code, provoking another seizure of silent suffering that became verbal. As I passed the sleeve on the street, it hissed a word at me, with the edge of anger to it, with a sharp rebuke in it: “Bitch.

This account describes a common pattern, in which the target’s failure to response results in escalation and a superficially friendly interaction is transformed into one that is transparently hostile.

I realized that one of the reasons why I was so insistent about my gentlemen friend’s insistence at walking on the outside is that I am already subjected to hella patriarchal social relations, in the streets, with men that I don’t know. My tolerance for taking that shit off of someone that I choose to be around was reasonable.

In some ways, I realize that I saw what he was doing as a further extension of what I have to navigate all the time. Because I be in the streets and I believe that women and men have a right to do so autonomously.

Am I saying that his wanting to walk on the outside is the same as street harassment? Of course not. Am I saying that both are patriarchal in that they are rooted in the idea that men, by virtue of being biological males have the right to protect and dominate women? Yes.

I think one of my favorite lines from this paper is: Central to the freedom to be at ease in public spaces is the capacity to pass through them while retaining a certain zone of privacy and autonomy — a zone of interpersonal distance that is crossed only by mutual consent.

Do you feel autonomous on the street? Why or why not?

Do women have the right to be autonomous on the street?

Why is it so much of a challenge for some Black men and women to accept that the way in which women are treated in the street has implications for all of us?

Racial Sexism?

Any thoughts on Street Harassment?

Juicy Butt

I have a pair of indigo Levi’s 518’s. They are about
6 years old and I dry clean them only. They don’t
even make these anymore.

My favorite pair of jeans. Casual, dressy and snug.

By the middle of my first year of law school I lost a lot of weight.

Living off of coffee and boiled eggs can do that.

The jeans became less snug and saggy booty.

I told one of my current mentors when I started grad school,that if she saw me on the light side, then that meant that I am not doing well, and to pull me aside and check in.

I am a #petitesnack as it is, so losing or gaining anything is noticeable. But ‘chall also KNOW THAT I STAY eating. #nomnomnom.

Losing that weight allowed me to have REAL appreciation for the trauma that both people in general, and women in particular experience about NOT being able to fit into their clothes any longer, be it from gaining or losing weight.

I remember being out with my then partner, wearing saggy booty jeans, and seeing him look at my homies ass and I remember how awful that made me feel. That experience and others like it with him took a toll on my self esteem.
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Never again.

Looking back, I guess I had to go through that to know that I will not
take that shit off of anyone. Only jawns that appreciate consistently,
who say it and DO IT are on my radar.

As I have gotten older, I made a commitment to Love my body, imperfections, perfections and all. Dressing in ways that accentuate the attributes and walking like a gazelle, as Bacon Grits calls it. #weintheair

I realized that doing this is both healthy, and also really attractive to others.

The body is always changing. The first year was eggs and coffee. The second year was carbs and running. I needed to do something active so I could sit in the library for 5 hours each night.? So I began to run, up to 6 -9 miles a week, which showed me other things that the body can do.

I am happy to say, that I put on those six year old indigo Levi’s jeans on Thursday, they tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyght.? I’m eating. Its the end of the semester. I survived.

Thank you to everyone who helped me to get this far.

WoOTer.

~Love #allcityreneens

Musing on Steve Harvey and Black Women

^^Thowback For Colored Girls

Two things have me thinking about doing an oral history project on Black Women’s Sexuality/ Life Choices.

The first is reading this line today on sexuality and race in early Philadephia in Sex and the Rabble, An Intimate History of Gender and Power in the Age of? Revolution, Philadelphia 1730-1830.

“White Philadelphian’s racialized constructions of sexuality became important tools in reconstituting racial oppresion without slavery.”

In my mind I thought, wait, so chattel slavery is over, so ya’ll are going to regulate Black women and low income white women (the rabble) by hyper monitoring and regulating our sexuality. Word? word.

It was then that I began to think that? when this democracy gets fragile the hyper regulation of women in general and Black women specifically comes out. Word to the 1980’s.

The second was reading Fallon’s blog post on the Hill Harper + Steve Harvey + Black woman can’t find “no good men” meme…eh?

She writes:

“Yep, I?m going to beat this drum . . . black men are the problems. Perhaps, someone who has a glimmer of common sense? <strike>Hill Harper, Steve Harvey, or Kevin Powell</strike> should write a how-to-book with colorful pictures teaching black men how to become unconventional/atypical black men . . . the kind of man who allows a black woman to be herself . . . the kind man who does not mentally masturbate with black feminist heterosexual women, but who wants a lifetime of memories with her (yep, that?s my personal gripe). . . the kind of black man who believes ?iron sharpens iron, she will make a better black man out of me? . . . the kind of man who will endure many years of psycho therapy to understand his emotions so that he can be an emotionally available father and husband . . . the kind of man who is proud to say I am the husband of such and such using her maiden name . . . the kind of man who will smile and at times grin at her witticism/arguments deeply respecting her thoughts . . . I could go on forever listing how black men can begin to challenge their male privilege, but, hey, Random House is not ain?t giving me no book deal they are too busy running behind the Steve Harvey?s and Tyler Perry?s of the world because clearly they speak for black women [pure sarcasm].”

This really hit me because it spoke to WHO gets to tell WHICH stories, and whose interests are being served by the stories being told.

Fallon goes on to say,

“Once again, I believe there is a political project afoot to make black women to feel woefully inadequate because they lack black hetero-male romantic partnership/marriage. And I think part of the political project is to cloak the dysfunctionality of capitalism and to warn other groups of women what will happen if they stray too far from appropriate feminine behaviors and identities?you will be blamed for the toxic social issues of your community and will be subjected to public ridicule on Nightline and other mainstream news shows?so be a good little girl . . . a ?well behaved? black girl.”

Be a good little Black girl or [Rabid US] Capitalism is coming for that ass, Word?

The voice and who has the right to speak for whom as been on my bird lately.

While doing research for my crack project, I was searching for articles on Friday on the psychology and how Black adolescent boys and girls made sense of the crime brought on by the crack epidemic, and all of the articles were about Black deviant boys and the code of the street. Im like the fuck? I knew dudes that hustled and were in college with good grades. Where is negro deviance in that situation? I was like wow…they really think our boys are animals.

Elijah Anderson’s work, in many ways, is the nucleus of this narrative. Elijah is an Awesome ethnographer, but this “Black boys are deviant” narrative is janky.? Has Anderson read Barry Michael Cooper’s “New Jack City Eats its Young?”

BMC provides both the conditions that allowed the crack epidemic to take root, but also historized it to show how violence works on a generational level and ties the crime commited by youth in the 80’s to the riots that happend in the 60’s in a really Martin Luther Kingian way.

Furthermore, BMC’s piece is the only thing I have seen that tells the story of the hood, on paper, from the ground up, with the voices of people who LIVED during the crack epidemic. But then again, I also just discovered In Search of Respect: Selling Crack in El Barrio, which I am looking forward to reading.

The issue with the pervasiveness of Andersons work is that the Department of Justice cosigns him as the truth and uses his theories to frame their polices on Black adolescent boys and violence.

But back to Steve and them.

Why are Black men on TV talking about WHO Black women are dating.

What does it mean that they are doing it on Nightline?

I am trying to wrap my head around what he is talking about and what I know about my life.

My crew is thorough.

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Another runs a really popular blog,? with global reach, and is my writing/networking mentor.

Another homie is a photographer with The Post who is building her chops as a Black conceptual artist and getting ready to blow.

Another is working on teaching at a fancy liberal arts college and working on her dissertation in the north east.

Another is a doctoral student, heavily engaged in criminal justice and work rentry for Black women, church and archival work and a lecturer.

Another is in the throws of her dissertation, will be teaching in the fall and allways takes my phone calls, no matter what time (Love you.)

One more is a manager at a shelter for kids in NYC, who works from 10 to 10, is on call 24 hours a day 3 days a week, is exhausted AND LOVES her work.

You get my point. We thick.

And as I said to @Moyazb earlier today (which was really the genisis of this post,”

“The angst around dating is not at the center of our lives.”

We Live. Love. Work to pay the rent/mortgages. Take care of our nieces and nephews, little brothers and sisters. Make Art. Party. Pray. And try and make all of the people who invested in us over the years proud.

Yes we do trip off of our dating and Love lives,? if we are having a dry spell or a relationship is breaking our heart into hella little pieces, or if a Lover is janky, or we got stood up, or if the person on Match dot come was hot for two weeks then kinda fizzled out, but daggumit.

We human.

But we we ain’t as pressed as Steve and them make it seem. And when we do get that pressed, we feel it (we may marinate in some sorrows) and move on. Or hold on to it UNTIL can move on.

We human.

All this being said.

I am thinking of doing a Black Woman’s Sexuality/ Life choices oral history project.

In talking to @moyazb today,? she brought up how some Black feminists write about dating, but in many ways don’t do it personally which leaves some of what they are saying removed from readers in many ways.

Whereas, I’m trying to do some scholarly Zane shit. And that makes sense you know why? Because my grad school writing sample was based on this blog post. #ummhmm #getithowyoulive

Thoughts?

The Nightline meme as punishment for not being feminine enough in the throws of rabid global capitalism?

Why are Black men talking about Black women’s dating habits?

Rather than be up in our dating lives, why not write about creating healthy Black men?

“Your Man is Lucky”

On the train tonight, I doubled backed to go and look for an earring that I lost.

If you know me, you know my earring game is serious.

I like them. They are little artistic pieces that I can wear everyday.

So. I was on a mission.
I’m exciting the train station and a man, who was cute in a rough around the edges,? chocolate Taye Diggs kinda way says:

Taye Diggs Cousin: Your man is really lucky.

Me: I chuckled to myself and kept walking. (He has no idea I have been immersed in gender and sexual relations in Early Philadelphia this afternoon. So my mind is brimming with ideas about sexuality and race.)

We are now at the turnstile, and he is ahead of me, so he has my attention. I am trying to get out to look for my earring.

Taye😕 Why you laughing?

I hesitate, and wonder if this is a moment to push back on presumptive patriarchy. In Oakland, being snarky with a man on the street while dressed provocatively IS reason (or not) , in some men’s eyes to slap a woman in the face.? But I decided to push him a bit.

Me: Oh, I find it funny that you presume it was a man.

He stopped and thought about it.

Taye: (He didn’t flinch nor blink) Either way. It could be a woman. I mean, she lucky too.

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Taye: (Looked me dead in my face) It would be worth it, and then shuddered like he just swallowed an uncoated aspirin that gave him goosebumps.

I walk out the station. He stays behind, as his card had issues. I’m walking away and he requests to ask me one more question. I turn around and listen.

Taye: So do you?

Me: Yes, my hands are full.

Taye: You are…… Wow?!?!!?! (Looking @ me like imma? deluxe chicken snack,#desire).

Me: (I looked him dead in the grill and said) Everything that we have are gifts. None of this is “me.”

Taye: It’s not wait you have, its what you do with it.

He was right.

Me: Yessir. And? pivoted and walked away.

Ain’t that something. Here I am making assumptions about him, and he rolled right with it. #ummhmmm. Go head Black men, which ‘cho no flinching selves.

Have you addressed patriarchy with men or women in public or private lately?

If yes, how did? it go?

If you chose not to, what stopped you?

What Ha’ Happen Was…..


Saturday I went to a function, even though I was tired. JJ Bear invited me and because she is all Love and because my outfit was hella cute. I went.

I told her girl, I ain’t hollern’ at nobody, I ain’t tripping, I just want to get out here some boombap and go home at a decent hour so I can wake up and finish reading this John Sweet and work on my Oakland proposal.

I ain’t in the house good, putting our beers in the hosts refrigerator when I ran up on this one. I ain’t seen this negro since January.

He was like, Wooow, you look like wow, you hair is out, and you ain’t wearing leggings.

JJ Bear gave me the side eye like, “umm hmmm, negro.” And I’m like naaah, I ain’t seent or spoke to him since January, really I am being honest.

I thought to myself, wow, leggings and a hat really use to be my uniform I guess.

As we were talking, the function was cool. House full of pretty Black people.

It was bugged because he remembered mad stuff about me. How I don’t believe that folks should not be touched without consent, my statement that everyone has a right to be who they are, my really progressive views about negro children and violence.

So, he invited me to dinner the next day and we went a couple days later.

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He is flirting with the idea of going to seminary and just ran a half marathon. I was struck by the way his life is full of stuff, keeping busy, being spiritually centered.

I encouraged him to go. His face lit up when he talked about studying Christian scholarship and philosophy. He is a muckety muck government bear now. The antithesis of religion and philosophy.

I encourage folks to, if it is within their means, do the work that makes their faces light up.

I personally think that a person who is moved spiritually like that, who has a leadership roles at church, is going to have to follow it or have it scratch at him for the rest of his life.

Hanging out with him reminded me of the different kind’s of chemistry that we have with people. It reminded me? haven’t ran into or spoke to SD in a hot minute. You know how you turn a corner and you think you gone run into somebody. #ummhmm. We both been busy and we had beef over a photo online. Reconciling that was awkward for us, in some ways.? I would be lying if ain’t say that I missed him.

In many ways I feel like I ran into an old friend. It was cool because he reminded how much I have changed but also stayed the same over the last 4 months.

At one point last night, I was talking about the Nightline meme on Black women. And I said that me and my crew, don’t have those issues. We date, make art,? grind to pay the mortgage/rent, read, and Love. He responded, “These women out here aren’t like you.They concerned with hair, nails and a job.”? (It thought to myself, I am concerned with boujay lotion, food and more food, luls.)

I simply responded saying saying, we here, you just have to look for us.

Funny that I enjoyed myself with this person, four months later.

Totally confirms that I don’t control outcomes.