“Your Man is Lucky”

On the train tonight, I doubled backed to go and look for an earring that I lost.

If you know me, you know my earring game is serious.

I like them. They are little artistic pieces that I can wear everyday.

So. I was on a mission.
I’m exciting the train station and a man, who was cute in a rough around the edges,? chocolate Taye Diggs kinda way says:

Taye Diggs Cousin: Your man is really lucky.

Me: I chuckled to myself and kept walking. (He has no idea I have been immersed in gender and sexual relations in Early Philadelphia this afternoon. So my mind is brimming with ideas about sexuality and race.)

We are now at the turnstile, and he is ahead of me, so he has my attention. I am trying to get out to look for my earring.

Taye😕 Why you laughing?

I hesitate, and wonder if this is a moment to push back on presumptive patriarchy. In Oakland, being snarky with a man on the street while dressed provocatively IS reason (or not) , in some men’s eyes to slap a woman in the face.? But I decided to push him a bit.

Me: Oh, I find it funny that you presume it was a man.

He stopped and thought about it.

Taye: (He didn’t flinch nor blink) Either way. It could be a woman. I mean, she lucky too.

Me: (Smiling)? I could be crazy. Crazy out my skull. You don’t know me.

Taye: (Looked me dead in my face) It would be worth it, and then shuddered like he just swallowed an uncoated aspirin that gave him goosebumps.

I walk out the station. He stays behind, as his card had issues. I’m walking away and he requests to ask me one more question. I turn around and listen.

Taye: So do you?

Me: Yes, my hands are full.

Taye: You are…… Wow?!?!!?! (Looking @ me like imma? deluxe chicken snack,#desire).

Me: (I looked him dead in the grill and said) Everything that we have are gifts. None of this is “me.”

Taye: It’s not wait you have, its what you do with it.

He was right.

Me: Yessir. And? pivoted and walked away.

Ain’t that something. Here I am making assumptions about him, and he rolled right with it. #ummhmmm. Go head Black men, which ‘cho no flinching selves.

Have you addressed patriarchy with men or women in public or private lately?

If yes, how did? it go?

If you chose not to, what stopped you?

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  1. Very54 says

    Resons why I haven’t adressed the “honey, sweety, baby” and other patriarchies…yet

    1. The american way: apparently this is how you guys do it here. I used to hate it, now I don’t care much…but actually I do. Care.
    2.I work in engineering with 99.99% of men. Do I need to say more?

    But I have a strategy though…
    1. Earn professional respect
    2. Bring up the “issue”

    I should probably do it simultaneously though…

    2 B continued 😉

  2. says

    Girl, I could talk for days about this and prolly will on your street harassment post. But this:

    (Looked me dead in my face) It would be worth it, and then shuddered like he just swallowed an uncoated aspirin that gave him goosebumps.

    I. Fell. OUT. Black men in NYC are BOLD.

  3. says

    I usually get the “Oh you must be a lesbian”, when I express my disinterest in an *individual* man. For who only knows what reason, I’ve been getting that reaction since I was about 13.

    Provides me ample amounts of opportunity to school folks (of any gender).