I use this image because it captures me, at least that is what my dating coach Court Bear says. Big {Teef} Smile.
I feel like I lost a best friend.
You know how you have a conversation, and you KNOW the relationship ain’t gonna be the same after this one.
Well, that shit happened about a month ago, and it came full circle last night.
The bugged out thing is that this is my cycle in some ways. Almost a year to the date.
School has changed me in ways that I am now only begging to grapple with.
Like the need for serious intellectual activity in a boo thang is real.
Discourse.
When MF Kennedy sent me the Cornel West video on the “orgiastic pleasure” of the life of the mind, and I was like wow, you get something ABOUT me that
I sent the video to nikon jawn AND SHE blushed, like girl, he SENT that shit to you. #ummhmm.
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I know you may be like DUH, you are in a grad school. But guess what, I never experienced in this while in the OTHER 5011 years I been in school, so how should I assume that this time would change me, in THIS way.
I think that’s why I stay referencing Bleek Gilliam, because that character is really a framework for helping me to privilege both the people that I Love and the Love for my work, and it gives me a language to talk about how I negotiate this space.
You know #allcity has a “5 ft. Party periphery” as Maxxxx once said about me.
Peace to Misternash.
It’s hard because he know me to my bones, and I am scared of never finding that again.
And perhaps bone knowing is necessary, but not sufficient. #Damngina.
However My heart don’t pump Kool-Aid, and I don’t control outcomes.
Fearless and Vulnerable.
Always.