Its been a month since I have been out of BK.
It hurts.
But not in the obvious ways.
See I was walking in ‘Frisco on Wednesday, and right there
in a plain sight was a 2 by 4 poster of the BK bridge
and it was like I saw a ghost.
See. For a long time I had issues with living in my old neighborhood.
Class mobility hurts.
Fitting into new environs.
Being mistaken for a cleaning lady or a nanny. You know.
Typical model minority bullsh*t.
Well.
When I got into running the bridge, I finally began to accept that
I would always have a foot in my past in East Oakland
and a foot in my future whether it be on the bridge, the SEC,
the NBA’s players union or Goldmans.
I began to claim mines!
I began to accept the uncomfortable as a part of the process.
I began to feel that I had earned it and would earn more.
So seeing it.
Reminds me of how I have succeded.
Where I have come short. Where I haven’t met my expectations
and trust, you don’t expect to be walking down the street
minding your own business and have
a f*cking photographs trigger all that.
But.
Last August, my father told me I was a soul looker, and I should be
careful about telling
people about what I saw. In all respect generic viagra 100mg gets the advantage of others. Now, the study says, there’s evidence that one precedes women viagra for sale the other. That’s why, ED patients are suggested to avoid its consumption. viagra online buy davidfraymusic.com discount levitra Pavana hanthi : Viadaarikanda normalizes vata and reduces vitiated vata. He is right. And I listened.
But peep, if I can look into others, I shouldn’t be so surprised when
the mirror is on me. Right?
With regard to running, there is some deliciousness in the Bay.
There are some mind altering trails near Stanford in the Redwoods and some
others in the Berkeley Hills w/ fly Bay views.
However, it wasn’t until I saw that flick of The Bridge in the Crate and Barrel
window did I realize how much I missed those concrete slabs, the sound of the cars,
motorcycles and tourists, and just the majestic sight of it.
I ran it in the pouring ran.
I ran it at night.
I yelled at tourists to move they sh*t.
Pedestrians and Walkers on the left, bikes skates on the right.
I ran that b*tch in bikini’s when it got hot.
In many ways the bridge became a sign of my both my strength
my weaknesses, and ultimately my endurance.
I remember the first time I ran it from end to end, w/o stopping.
What I will never forget about that sh*t is that I wasn’t trying.
I was listening to 50.
Listen to Memph.
Listening to Freeway.
And it happened.
Before I knew it, I made it to the other end, non stop.
******************
So. I think I have blogged away my wiggles, and ghosts.
Off to kick it on my first Bay Labor Day w/ fam in ages.
Will get at ‘chall tomorrow night.
yours,
~m.dot
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=========
When was the last time something startled you?
Made you feel like you saw a ghost?
Took you back to the past when you weren’t ready?
========
========
get outta my head, yo.
i think i had a similar reaction to seeing it when i was in ny a few weeks ago. for my, bklyn as a whole holds something so dear. it is where i made my life, my GROWN life with beloved. where i came into my own. where i’d thought i’d be for a very long time…even if it meant struggling, i felt a kinship with nostrand ave, flatbush ave, the A, the D, the F, and the Q…nah mean?
it was weird driving across the bridge with my friend…our children *shudders* strapped into car seats in the back of her car. me starring manhattan dead in its face, remembering. i remember how it feels to rise early, to ride the Q as the sun breaks across the river. i never got sick of that…all the promise & the dreams. living and hustling and loving (in) the city.
everytime i go back i wonder if i have failed. given up on my artist/writer self to just “make it” cuz i have a kid. i wonder if i have somehow become complacent & stopped taking risks, and stopped dreaming, because now…when faced with this little boy’s life, i need to be safe. i wonder. and i wander. and i wonder.
(didn’t mean to type up a whole entry to your blog…but i understand..lol).
peace
When was the last time something startled you?
==============
The first time I met the Virgo. She looked like… Nia Long. And that startled me, seeing as I have a 17+ year crush on old girl.
Then she cut her hair. She looked like my BM. Which moves us to the next question…
Made you feel like you saw a ghost?
=================
Talking to the Virgo, seeing her have damn near the same mannerisms as the BM. That scared me. Same high school stats, same occupation, same height, everything.
Took you back to the past when you weren’t ready?
================
Last night, listening to I Wonder by ‘Ye. Took me back to that recent pain, and that past pain that I thought I gotten rid of.
*sigh*
Oh well. Today is a new day.
i never got sick of that…all the promise & the dreams. living and hustling and loving (in) the city.
=======
Its like that heart the pumps beneath the city is a mainline into our ambitious little dreams.
everytime i go back i wonder if i have failed. given up on my artist/writer self to just “make it” cuz i have a kid. i wonder if i have somehow become complacent & stopped taking risks, and stopped dreaming,
=======
Blood.
Stop.
I miss you.
(didn’t mean to type up a whole entry to your blog…but i understand..lol).
=====
never.
Ever. Apologize for writing here.
I have always encouraged you to write and I always will.
Even if I don’t see your curly haired angel until he is 10:(
~Super love, I feel you- Muah!
She looked like… Nia Long.
=====
Say word.
Word.
N*gga you heard.
Its like a feen with a queen and he catches a bird.
~Q-Tip
Then she cut her hair. She looked like my BM. Which moves us to the next question…
Made you feel like you saw a ghost?
========
You baggin bad jawns like that?
Swag duly noted.
Talking to the Virgo, seeing her have damn near the same mannerisms as the BM. That scared me. Same high school stats, same occupation, same height, everything.
========
Why you f*cking w/ repeats.
If I gets me a baldie.
Then I want a jawn w/ waves.
Last one tall.
Next = short.
Last = Chocolate.
Next= Almond.
Last= Muscle man
Next= Pudgy center:)
DIVERSIFY n*gga or you gone mess around and call her the WRONG NAME AT THE WRONG TIME….that IS if you have already done it.
Even if I don’t see your curly haired angel until he is 10:(
===
i’m not sure how much of an angel he is now…his terrible 2s is kickin in kinda early, yo & he’s driving me insane!
(oh, and his hair is bought fall victim to the CHOP!)
oh oh…and u need to get on aim sometime, yo.
Im on now.
Remember when you usta always tell me to get it and I was like…ummm nawwww…I finally broke down and got it.
LOVE that shit.
They need to figure out a widget that allows us to do it on the site in real time.
Like four or five of us. HOT!
****Emails homie who is a google engineer.