Rough Draft: Malcolm X + Lil B and Black Men’s Sexuality

I woke up with the portion of the post on Lil B and Malcolm in my head.

“….Writing about Black men’s sexuality is important because sexuality is racism’s third rail. Sexual domination, violence and the threat of violence have all been tools to keep Black folks, women and Black women in check. An examination of sexuality, the language around sex can teach us a lot about ourselves.

Also, in the post “An You Even Licked My Balls: A Black Feminist Note on Nate Dogg” I argued that we need to interrogate how White men’s desires for certain images of Black men shapes the music that we consume. White suburban men and women singing “And You Even Licked My Balls” takes on a whole other connotation when we consider how segregated we live in the United States. Many White folks learn what they learn about Black people from the television. This makes Nate Dogg’s catalog take on a whole other significance.

I also know that I need to write this because as a Black woman who blogs about rap music, I unlike other rap bloggers am not interested in becoming friends with rappers or becoming beholden to a rap label. (Wait…some rappers do check for #allcity. Let’s be clear.) This free’s me up to say things that a rap blogger would NOT say, out of fear of sabotaging a relationship with a music label or an artist. I am beholden to myself as a writer and to my audience. Full stop.

I write this because I care about Black people in general and Black women in particular. I also write this because homophobia is a tool of sexism. Homophobia directed towards men, is rooted of the hatred of the “feminine” in men.
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I also write this because I am concerned not just with the relations between Black folks and white folks, but between Black men and Black women as well. So when Lil B decides he is going to name his album “I’m Gay”, I pay attention. Especially given the influence that he has on young children, I will absolutely pay attention.

Being an artist or being a genius does not give a person a free reign to be greasy.”

More is coming. I need to read the Malcolm book and also collect the links to stuff that has been written about Lil B.

Thoughts?

Have you read the Malcolm book yet?

What Do You Want Me Write About?

I am back. Yeaaah! And I still have my hair. Still more work to do, but the major hurdle has been jumped.

So, what do you want me to write about?

Here are some of the ideas that I have so far.

1. Queering Malcolm, Queering Lil B: On Black Men’s Sexuality.

2. For Colored Girls Who Have to Tell Negro Men to Sit Down When They Question Her Gender Theorizing.

3. DC’s Rich Black Madam: Odessa Madre, a 1930’s Rich Madam.
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4. Why Mambu Badu is the Freshest Thing Since Honey Magazine.

5. Black Girls Grad School Survival Guide or For Colored Girls Who Considered Grad School When Being an Admin Got Janky.

5. How Goldy Changed My Life with Four Words: Are You Seeing Anyone?

Is there anything else that I said I would write about, but I haven’t yet. Do you have any suggestions?

Let me know.

-R

Gone ‘Till May 3rd

I am busy prepping for the end of the semester. Grading papers, working on my teaching portfolio (shout out to everyone on Twitter who shared their teaching statement with me) and I am being observed for the second time this semester on May 3rd. Pray for me, I need to leave myself enough time to proofread everything. #Becomingbetterattimemanagement.

In the mean time, check out racialicious, the crunkfeminists, gender bending Zeds blog, Jamilah King @ Colorlines, Brittini and Arielle @Clutch Mag and quirky black girls.

There is also a Goldy update coming. I am playing her close to the vest as things have developed……

Here are some of my posts that you may enjoy in the meantime.

Michael Baisden is a Misogynist Pig

Thinking about Jay Electronica Choking Women During Sex
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Ta-Nehisi Coates Asks “Is For Colored Girls a Classic”: My Response

Why Can’t The Obama’s Send their Children to Public School?

Michelle Obama and the Black Female Body

To all my homies, and readers, thank you for holding me down. You make this process less lonely and I appreciate it.

Love,

#Allcity.

Black Feminist Love x Black Feminist Sex

A few weeks ago I was on a date with Mr. Playful, on the third try of attempting to see that daggumit new Matt Damon flick. I was telling him that dating a Black feminist is awesome because yes means yes, no means no, and everything turns on consent.   He just kinda looked at me like, ok, that Feminism, ‘ish sounds cool, I think. Lol.

Side bar: Interestingly enough, I have not heard from him in a few weeks, #GodbemovingPeoplearoundtoMakespaceBecause, Ahem, spaceisneeded?

The manifesta for Come Correct talks about Black feminist sex, but today I am thinking about Black feminist Love, (which are not mutually exclusive, per se.)

Black Feminist Love. Full stop.

So, my little play sister is going through a break up, and when I talk to her, I constantly have to think “What does showing her that I Love her look like in this moment?”

Sometimes it means allowing her to vent.
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Other times it means saying “If the little emails he sends you make you sad, then you have to tell him to stop. Contacting you is a privilege, not a right, your psychic space is YOURS to protect.”

Black feminist Love means holding people accountable, suggesting books that they can read to help them be more nimble thinkers. Black feminist Love means understanding that until we deal with our trauma and relationships with our parents, we will NOT be able to connect and have meaningful deep relationships as adults. Black feminist Love means pulling your homies aside and telling her that she is fucking up, without humiliating her. Black feminist Love means standing by the idea that everyone has the right to be who they are. Black feminist Love means forgiving your father even though he abandoned  you when you were a little bear, because we grown now and being mad at poppi is not what the streets want. Black feminist Love means that we understand that Love is transformative, precious and a gift.

So yeah.

Love.

#Boom.

Any thoughts on the ideas around Black feminist Love?

Musing on the Genealogies x Sex x Digital Black Feminisms #BettaComeCorrect

On Friday, on the Crunkfeminists blog, Crunktastic wrote a post titled “How Chris Brown is Effing up my Sex Life: A B-Side to Dating While Feminist.” In the post, she discusses the challenges that Black feminist face when a #boosnack has some janky gender politics.

As you can tell, I am clear on calling folks out on their janky gender politics when I see that they have space to grow. See here and here.

The post is awesome because she analyzes how our politics follow us into our intimate day to day interactions, #ItsNotaGame.

Context.

See, Latoya wrote a piece a couple of weeks ago titled “On Being Feminism’s Ms. Nigga.” While I found that last word of the title, to be both dangerous and violent, I do understand where she is coming from. We all have to navigate the tension associated with assimilation. As Black female bodies living in and interacting with institutions that we DO NOT control, we feel the burn honey. I also understand that the positions that we take up in these institutions can impact our careers in profound ways. Is it possible that strategic tokenism helps to keep us from being homeless?

More context, last fall Moya and Lex wrote an article in Ms. Magazine about how Black feminism is alive and well on the internet. They write,

When Black feminism’s words do live on, it is not by accident, default or simple popularity: It is often because Black feminists scraped together coins together to publish them, as when Black women’s social clubs raised the funds for Ida B. Wells to put out her 1890 anti-lynching and anti-rape pamphlets. Similarly, nearly a century later, in the late 1980’s Barbara Smith risked bankruptcy to continue funding Kitchen Table, an autonomous press for writing by women of color.

….So from these roots are a new(er) generation of Black feminist voices are coming out of academia using free and direct means of publication- the internet and social media- to spread our vision and to provoke and ongoing dialogue.

How is that for rooting our work in history?

I am also in an awesome feminist genealogies course, where we are looking at the historical connections between the theory created by women and women’s social movements. Some of the most enlightening texts that we have read are:

Benita Roth’s, Separate Roads to Feminism: Black White and Chicana Feminist Movements in the Second Wave. Powerful in how it shows the connections between these movements, along with the distinctions and the way race and class shaped how women put their energy in social movements in the 60’s and 70’s. #Ummhmm.

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So I am thinking about how knowledge gets produced by women of color online, who shares ideas with whom, who is in conversation with each other, who reads history. Then, Black digital feminism magic happened on Friday.

I was reading the comments on Crunktastic’s post, and I saw that Lex left a comment that kinda had be blown and so I tweeted it. She said,

…that black feminist sex is the best sex around and that folks who insist on ignoring the dynamics of gender violence in order to maintain their privilege are missing out.Makes me want to create an ad campaign that gives new meaning to the phrase “come correct.”

I left to go teach my class and I came back an hour later and there was a Bettacomecorrect Tumblr, a listserve thread, a Twitter account, a Facebook page in the works. It was on and cracking.

The manifesta for the site is:

because black feminist sex is the best sex ever…this site was created by those of us having and committed to having transformative erotic experiences with/as black feminists. (and both! oh both!!!!!!)

this is also a wake up call to anyone who insists on intimacy without accountability, condones violence against black women, or refuses to be transformed by the ecstatic miracle that black women exist. you are seriously missing out.

In some ways this site runs directly in the face of the politics of respectability. However, it is also important to note that because of our social locations as teachers, professors, instructors, students and administrators, and because of the history of Black women being constructed as lewd, lascivious and 50 million “hoe’s”, we also write with pseudonym’s because it is safer.

When I called one CFC later that Friday afternoon on the way from dinner, I was patched into a three way phone call where we were talking about possibly doing work on Digital Black Feminisms and sexuality at a conference next year. I also mentioned how I storified a conversation that a few of us had on Twitter last fall about Nicki Minaj, Jasmine Mans. It was like all of us have been in conversation with each other and that this is a natural outcome. What I like most about it is organic and collaborative.

You peep Betta Come Correct?

What do you think of the Manifesta?

Who knew Chris Brown could inspire this way?