When Blog Readers Respond: Ms. Whitney M.

Image from UK Daily Mail

This weekend I wrote a lot.

One of the posts was “Can African Americans Find Their Voice in Cyberspace?”

And Whitney Muse responded writing a comment so long that it crashed the comments box. I am honored!

One of the material differences between newspapers and blogs is the interaction between writers and readers. The explicitly ways in which readers speak back.

Below is a summary of Whitney’s response to my post.

I have reorganized her comment so that a comment or question (from me or Ms. Cunningham comes first, then Whitney’s response follows.)

What does it mean that some of the biggest Black blogs online are press release mills that lightweight resemble Jet + Ebony lite?

Whitney: That the biggest Black blogs resemble Jet and Ebony is a way of limiting the use of technology and blogs as a political organizing tool. There?s no coverage of the blogs that are politically engaged & produce critical analysis in the style of Emerge magazine from the 1990s or the black press, ie-Chicago Defender, Philadelphia Tribune, etc. This allows black blogs to not be a part of? ?focus[ing] on freedom discourse as a means of exploring strategies for collective political action and accountability to black interests.? The biggest black blogs are yet another institution that?s not taking part in the rebuilding of the ?black civic infrastructure.?

I qouted Dayna Cunningham saying that she “would argue that today, black politics has largely been reduced to the electoral and legislative spheres?

Whitney: I?d argue that black politics have been reduced to the electoral sphere only, at least in federal politics. Black Politics are brought up legislatively when corporate policies need a black face to get sympathy/support. Recent examples include the ban on flavored cigarettes that was written to exclude menthols, which are very popular among blacks; Cathy Hughes as the face of opposition to the Radio/Performance Tax; little black children as the face of No Child Left Behind when GWB signed it into laws in 2001; and the voucher & charter school movements as escapes from failing urban schools & as tools to help black children but are actually fronts for hedge fund/Wall Street/foundation money.

I asked in the post “What are the consequences of doing nothing?”

Whitney: The black blogosphere can still be used to rebuild the ?black civic infrastructure? but it will be done at the margins, without the full force of the power of the blogosphere.

Dayna Cunningham stated “The majority of whites did not support Obama.”

Whitney: There was a period between election day 11/4/08 and inauguration day 1/20/09 in which there was less white hostility and an increase in his approval ratings, up to 65% from his electoral percentage of 53% (I don?t have a racial breakdown for the Jan 09 number). The majority of whites did not vote for Obama but there was an increase of white support before the inauguration. During this time, there was a rise in the incessant post-racial talk and hope for working together to improve the country. All of which disappeared shortly after inauguration and we got the rise of the corporate funded, ?grassroots? Tea Party.

I comment on how Dayna Cunningham is “asking how marginalized folks can use the internet to speak back to the majority.”

Whitney: I?d argue that marginalized individuals weren?t a large part of the Obama for America online network and that within the limiting framework of Obama for America there isn?t space to push for an agenda that is different from the president?s, be it an agenda that is more progressive on issues that are being addressed or an agenda that addresses issues that are missing from the national discourse.

Response/Additions to what can you do?

Whitney: 1+2. Go to a city council meeting and/or a school board meeting. They usually post the agendas online before the meeting so you’ll know what will be discussed. If there’s an open comment section, sign up so you can add your thoughts/opinions.

For Colored Girls Blog Carnival

Dear QBG/CFC Bloggers, Friends,?colleagues, and more,

With the premiere of Tyler Perry?s?For Colored Girls approaching,?we at?Quirky Black Girls are planning a?blog carnival concerning the movie. A blog carnival consists of hosting a webpage where linked blog posts discuss a similar subject. We know that many people are going to blog about the movie, the way that it relates (or doesn?t) to Shange?s original work, how it represents black women and men, how?triflin? it is, so we decided to create a central location where people could read it all!

If you would like to participate in the carnival, please send us a link to your blog at quirkyblackgirls[at]gmail[dot]com by Friday, November 12, 2010.

Oh and be sure to check out what?Real Colored Girls are doing in terms of helping folks organize screenings and discussions in their area! Also, Evelyn Alfred is rocking out with a?For Colored Girls twitter book club! Check the #forcoloredgirls for all the awesomeness!

With so much love and rainbows,

QBG?s Fallon & Moya

On Becoming Bleek Gilliam, On Becoming Janie

If you know me you know I can’t stand no Bleek Giliam nor the people

who remind me of him.? Yet I tend to date them anyways. #Ouch.

Bleek Gilliam is Denzel Washington’s in Mo’ Betta Blues who Loved his Boo’s and often Loved his art even more.

Last week, I realized why I hate Bleek so much, because in many ways I am him. Arrrrrg.

Earlier this month at a little Libra function two different people I dealt with were there.

The night went fine until the next morning when I learned that SD got one of my best girl friends.

I was like “Aye Blood, How you gone get at her knowing that I Love her, that shit was real sloppy.” It was then that I realized that he ain’t got no code, and because of that he dangerous.

It was one thing for him to BRING a pretty Black girl to the function, I expected that I wasn’t excited but she we grown, let it do what it do. It was another thing to holler @ my homie. Feel me. Sloppy!

He subsequently apologized and said he was ashamed but you know what blood,? its been awkward ever since, which is a reminder that that shit ain’t right.

I was very careful with the invitations. I prayed on them to be honest. What I didn’t do is give the right of first refusal and say, “Aye Blood, so and so gone be there, so you better have some act right” or ” you may or may not want to come, just an fyi.”

A couple of days later when Sbot learned what I did, she said call Bacon Grits, quick. I listened to her and I was glad I did. He suspected something was fishy and because I am taking some time to fall back and focus on my classes and teaching this fall, he knew we wouldn’t be talking to me as much, so he decided to wait to say something.

By bringing it up, I showed both integrity and a willingness to admit that I fucked up. He recognized that what I did wasn’t malicious, but still, I ain’t know.? I now realize going forward that I need to give folks the right of refusal.

I learned in that conversation that he was angry enough to stop dealing with me. I got #shook.

So how am I Bleek?

Bleek had his Love Bears. He also LOVED his work, his art.

I realize that as much as this quality irritates me in the people that I date, I also find it attractive AND I can also be the same way. Arrg.

You see I was hurting a couple of weekends ago. I told BG I was gon’ fall back, pray, listen to my heart, and get some work done.

I got A LOT of work done, but my life was so quiet without the constant hum of our contact. Phone calls, text messages, etc.

I was like dannnng. What if he meet somebody else in the meantime.

What is I gone do?

I can’t control that though. It is what it is until it ain’t.

It was then that I realized that this dude is in a whole OTHER category because he centers his relationships with his friends and family. He PUTS THEM over money. I know very few people like this, let alone Black men. (No shade to Black men, but ya’ll be representing #teamPatriarchy-A man ain’t a man unless he go stoopid dough, real hard.)

I understand how valuable and precious this is. Full stop.

At the same time I know I am driven and attracted to that? passion, a plan, conviction and commitment, OTHER Bleeks.

Court Bear,my datingn co blew my byrd up when she said people in general, men specifically, are rarely good at both as they are not socialized to be. Plus learning to be good at relationships takes time and a willingness to learn, like being good at anything. Arrg.

Which is brings me to Bleek. Ms. Nikon Jawn shared with me on Thursday that women are socialized to “give up their ” lives in pursuit of a partner. That sounds like a fertile ground for growing resentments.? And that this is a part of the reverb that I am feeling.

Trust. I am rooted in desire.? This is where Janie comes in. Janie looking for a bee for a her blossom, moving on when husbear number one or two wasn’t doing her right. I try to treat people humanly with the tools that I have at the moment.

I don’t know WHAT to make of all this. What I do know fer show, is that the outcome of none of this is mine. Honestly when I admit this and my Bleek tendencies, I feel better. I also feel better when I admit that it is my job to seek advice, listen to my heart and apologize when I fuck up.

#blackgirlsarefromthefuture.

yzr.

You know any Bleek Gilliam’s?

Does that analogy make sense?

Do you be Bleek too?

I Don’t Control Outcome’s #VulnerbleyFearless

For T.dot, b/c he knows me better than I would like to admit sometimes.

Fork in the roads that arise while dating be trill.

In mid July, I ran into SD and he asked me how I thought he saw me. I said, “Well, you enjoy badu’n me and you enjoy my company.”

He was floored.

He asked what made me think this way.?? He said that he liked me as a person too. I responded. Well of course, that goes without saying.

He asked to walk me to the train. While he has put me in cab’s he ain’t been a? “Imma walk you to the train” kinda person. I was surprised. He wanted to talk.

I explained “Dude, these are the rules that you laid down months ago. All I am doing is making it explicit.”

He then asked how I felt about him, I said that “I have adored him. That meant that if he sent me a text message on a summer night at 10p m, and I was tired and just got home from a? shift, BUT wanted to kick it, I would get dressed, get a cab and come meet him.”

He was silent.

I went on to say “The difference I think is that I have changed my p lans for you, I don’t think you have for me.”

I meant no malice when I said it, I was actually hella honest, more honest than I could believe really.

He was silent, and said that, “Well, you can make plans for us.” And he is right, I could have, but my rationale is that the planner pays, and it has n’t been in my means to do so. However, this can be negotiated because I have other friends I do stuff with were the costs are shared or one person holds the other down and vice verse. I guess there just has to be space created for that.

Its been a little bumpy between us because we have a kickin’ it spot th at was a neutral space, a neutral space that I negotiated for WAY BACK when, because as a Black woman, having a safe space in public to post up in important to me.

I try and find one in every city.? It makes life better. In terms of the neutral spot, he brought someone (whom he termed innocent), I brought someone (not so innocent), he invited a blind date. #ummhmm.

Part of me is like, its cool, it is what it is, another part of me is like, can we go back to the original steez?

Then, we hung out just on some friends catching up steez. Normally the energy between us either crackles, that be part of the daggumit problem, or it is just regular. That night was a regular night, and I wasn’t pressed. On top of that we couldn’t find a place to post up, he was tired, I WAS tired. #Yawn.

Then he offered to play me the new Bilal (which was unreleased at the time), so I perked up,? then he rescinded because of some plans he made. My feelings were hurt.

We have since talked about it and? I was like dude “that ain’t even a way to just treat a friend” on g.p. let alone a boo thang. He? said he had thought about that too and apologized. It was nice to have that acknowledged.

Then of course there is young Bacon Grits. He love HOARD. I enjoy it. I mean he takes pictures of me that look like this.

Josephine saw that pictures and was like #girrrrrrrrrl. I didn’t see what she meant, but now I do.

However he and I be beefing over ideas, ambition, work, the best way to go about shit. And as far as I am concerned, I need passion in my life. Not just passion for me, but a partner has to have a thang that gives them JOY when they jump outta bed, feel me. And he is working on cultivating that thang in the mean time a part of me is like “nains, remember the last time you had a passion beef, you left an entire apartment behind.” #Ummhmm

But I ain’t that person anymore either.

At the same time he was? observant enough to point out to me that he knows that I need to eat not when I am hungry, but right before I get hungry to avoid me turning into an #allcitygremlin. #Word. #WeknowBlackgirlssnackhabitsin 2010?

The truth is, I love both of them. In the name of all things #fearlessyvulnerble.

The Love is different for each, but its there.

I Love myself as well. This means that I try and do what makes me comfortable and try to be honest. In some ways writing this post is part of keeping it honest AND a part of not controlling outcomes. Feel me?

Again with regard to outcomes. I certainly have NO idea what will happen.

Fall is coming, and perhaps because of that, I been feeling some kinda way.I? have more work than ever, so I think my kickin’ it time is more precious than before because there is less of it.

And its #libraseason?

This been on my bird. It feel good to say it. I don’t mean no harm.

Why is it so hard to do shit and let go of the outcome?

You do that recently?

You ever share a kicking it’ space with a boo?

Was I bold for what I said?

Freedom Is Expensive or/ Being Sponsored is Being Owned


About a month ago, Jonzey and I were having a conversation
on Twitter where she mentioned that she didn’t know that Miami had
sugar daddies.

And I responded saying something along the lines of, Being sponsored is being owned.

I mean, the moment you do some shit your sponsor don’t want, you get silenced. As an artist, what good is your voice if somebody always nippin’ at it?

She responded saying that Sallie Mae feeling like a long leash right now.

The conversation ended w/ her saying that Shit. Freedom is Expensive.

I love that quote because it rang true at that moment.

She is right. Autonomy and freedom are expensive. As women, and as women of color we are reminded of this shit on the daily.

Do you think Freedom is expensive?

Why or why not?