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Hip Hop is a Masculine Space

by

Peace to Vince Lopez

How did I get into hip hop as a feminist?

As a teenager, I found, in the early 90’s that the cool
kids, at least the ones I wanted to be liked by where
into hip hop.

Furthermore, as I got older, and got into The Source,
but Fridah, Basquiat and the Guerrilla Girls as well,
I found hip hop as a space that validated my lived
experience as a nerdy Black girl from east Oakland,
at prep school in ‘Frisco.

I found that teenage guys, the boom bappy ones
took me seriously, they listened to what I had to say, given my
knowledge of and interest in that genre of music.

I was also able to build relationships with other women
of color. We would hang out on Telegraph, go to rap shows
in Oakland, Frisco and Berkeley. It provided a space for us
to kick it.

I wore big clothes to conceal my body, thin as I was,
or if I wore more feminine attire, it was relatively conservative,
long skirts and head wraps. I was a “Queen” they were “ho’s”
Drinking Is a Bad Idea! Usually, men cannot separate alcohol from romance. soft tabs viagra Essentially spill the substance of the sachet on a spoon and get more buy levitra from india swallow it. But this is no reason to hang their heads. lowest price on levitra Even though we tend to live at a rapid pace with a daily levitra price davidfraymusic.com routine of work, family, friends and more, you must always take the time to treat your condition. according to my 5%’er boyfriend at the time. (Even then
I was trouble by the fact that Black women fell into two groups.)

Now I can live in magenta leggings, men shirts/hoodies and 575 New Balance’s. We grow up, don’t we.

This past weekend I was reminded of how much hip hop
is a masculine space. Created by men, largely, to be
enjoyed by men. Hanging out with the fellas.

The crazy thing, for me, was being in such a masculine
space, was how familiar it was. Took me back to ’94.
I was home. But I haven’t been to that home
in years.

Many of us of have critiques of misogyny and racism
in rap music, but I was reminded in being in that space
recently, how it is primarily for and about black masculinity.

Weird how an experience can do that.

I wondered how our critiques and expectations of rap music
would change if we acknowledged what while there were
some spaces for Women, post “The Chronic” album, it has
been a space profoundly about and for men.

Second Semester

by

Second Semester is different from the first in a few ways.

The first is that I read with more confidence. I have process for
being able to absorb a book by reading the introduction closely,
recognizing the arguement then proceeding to read the relevant
chapters that I feel the author care’s most about.

Second is that, my support network is bigger. Moving to a new place
and making new friends and the same time, is not what the
streets want. However, it is coming together, and between
twitter, friends of friends, and just being a friendly person
I seem to be formulating a group of people that I can rely
on that have NOTHING to do with academia, which is
key.

Third, I have a grad school homie in another department, Ms. Fresh
Daily, and we are hella cool. Love her, she checks for me,
pushes me to think with my radical imagination, talks
me down from the edge, and perhaps most importantly
helps me to see when I am tripping or when school
people are tripping. She also helped me to see that
I identified intellectually, hella hard, with my last relationship
and thats why it was hard to let go. She reminded me that
everything that I learned from him, came to him several
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about learning from a person but being apart of a learning
community. She had been there before, where her partner
pushed her to new places, intellectually, then they split, and she
was forced to make sense of the relationship and the void.

Fourth I know and am in regular contact with other Black women
who are dissertating (Moya y Jess), so not only do I SEE examples
of people who have made it, but they also care enough about
me to take my phone calls, which is really precious and meaningful.

Fifth, its nice to get to know and meet people who are interested
in my work and me as a person. Its bumpy at times, don’t get
it twisted. But in some ways, my faith has had to grow bigger
than my fear to be able to do it. (Otherwise I would just stay
in the bed, luls.)

Lastly, I have a better sense of what is expected of me.
I am also more gentle with myself and understanding that
there are a lot of things that I don’t know how to do and that
I am here to learn, and as long as I don’t expect to do
things perfectly the first time I will maintain my serenity.

Is this year better than last for you?
Why or why not?
Why is it so hard to accept learning how to do new things is hard?

Crush’s and Being Human

by

Neens and D.J. Les courtesy of @sixfive

Thursday night, I went to a function.

Boom bap deliciousness, but I hadn’t anticipated it.

I had a big work day, and knew I wanted to chill later,? so I had given
KB a heads up.

Got a text? around @ 6:00 pm saying, “not going to be able to make it tonight.”

I was like word? Okay, thank you for letting me know.

Boom.

So I am out, decompressing, made a new lady friend, Connecticut Minnie.

I get a “Hey” text from KB around 7:30.

I respond. “Hey Love.”

“You get my Voice Mail?

I say, “Nah I don’t check vm’s, plus I am in a no service zone.”

He like, ” Oh two joints going on tonight, Black Milk and L.E.S spinning

I’m trying to go, would like for you to come.”

I’m like. Lawd I am not built for this.

First no, now, “Imma come meet you where you @?”

You know how you don’t wanna wait for somebody, but you
kinda do?

I couldn’t figure out where the LES jawn was, so I text J Boogie
and crew and they was like yeah girl, we here, come through.

He cool with J Boogie so I was like, ummp. How do I freak this?

Time goes by, I wait, Connecticut Minnie look at me,
and says boo, you want a ride? I am not going in but I will drop you.

I want to stay posted. She like YOU BEEN waiting, scoot, let him
swoop you. And I was kinda embarrassed because normally I be wanting time, places and plans LAID out, clean. I’m real particular about that.

But this, ummmp. New ‘ish.
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And that is not how THIS works. BUT its awesome, because
I am outside of my comfort zone, learning to do my part
and give the rest to God. Ummmp.

Fearless and Vulnerable, I’m trying at least.

The spot is all boom bappy and good. Like 1992 boom bappy.

30 minutes later. I look up Connecticut Minnie is there, I’m like WHAT, I thought you went home. Yeah, you came.

KB shows up, walks past me, thought he was playing me. Instinct
was to feel tight, but I know better, sorta.

I asked,? he say “Nah, I? ain’t see you.” Well he is near sighted. Luls.

“Glad to you see you made it.”

“Girl I came out here to see you, you think I came to see J Boogie,” lols.

“Of course you did.”

I dance, he don’t dance, but grabbed me.

“Watch you get caught up in my MEAN two step.” Looked at him like he was gone out his skull.

Lying if I wasn’t lightweight caught up in the mean two step, what part of the game is this?

Later that evening @sixfive captured the above flick.

I was kinda shook by how warm the colors are.

@Beautynubian says that I look like pure joy.

In some ways I think she right.

I had no idea how that night would turn out. And it was
lovely. My face shows it. Ummm hmmm.

Here’s to being more human humans in #2010 and letting
go of thangs so you can let OTHER thang’s do what it do.

Here’s to it all not needing time to be planned out down the hour and it being LOVELY anyways.

Letting go of anything in 2010?

Letting anything in in 2010?

Take any awesome smiley pictures lately?

How Zora and Jay Dilla Helped Me Claim My Crush

by

This one is for T.dot and Black girls desire.

A month ago, I read There Eyes Watching God in one sitting, in Oakland.

I hadn’t read the book since I was a 16. At that time I appreciated Zora’s use of language, but I didn’t have the life experience to appreciate the beauty of the ways in which Janey left her husbands but wasn’t crushed, the ways in which Janey held on to her humanity and to desire, and the general importance of seeing a Black woman’s interior life on paper.

Given the fact that I have been learning about centering women’s subjectivity, perspectives and experiences in my Women Studies course work, I immediately saw the significance of TEWWG. I also developed a critique of WHY Richard Wright didn’t get TEWWG. He didn’t understand the political significance of Black women’s voice’s, the importance of claiming desire and the distinction between speaking up and being voiceless in Black communities.

The origins of the US are rooted in Black women’s productive and reproductive labor in this country. So, if someone is affirming our interior lives,? it is most certainly a political act.

Wright wrote, in reviewing TEEWG,

“… The sensory sweep of her novel carries no theme, no message, no thought. In the main, her novel is not addressed to the Negro, but to a white audience whose chauvinistic tastes she knows how to satisfy. She exploits that phase of Negro life which is “quaint,” the phase which evokes a piteous smile on the lips of the “superior” race.”

Richard thought Zora was perpetually cooning, apolitical and setting the movement back.

Zora was affirming our humanity.

So how does this fit with my crush and Dilla?

A couple of weeks ago, my homie J-boogie invited me to a party at the end of February. Yeah for slowly? making new friends who invite me to stuff! WoOter. I learned that a friend of his, that I had recently peeped would be there, so I asked if he was single, liked Black girls and whether he was a raging misogynist. The answer was yes, yes and no, so I said, word? Crush Bears!

Silver leggings, green eye shadow. Outfit planned!

Fast forward to this past Saturday night. I walked into a function with Ms. Nikon Jawn and who would you know, my crush, KB is there.

I have a bit of a rubber face, so I was stuck, because my face said what my mind thought, which was “What ‘chu doing here, is that really you?” I had to collect myself. I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t suppose to happen like this.

I had already mentioned to my homie Ms. Nikon the deal, so she insisted, “YO, go say something.” I was like, furrowed eyebrows, “NO!”

So we danced, chilled and danced and I kept an eye out for him.

Couple hours later, Ms.Nikon Jawn I are taking a breather,
and KB walks by. I stare, he waves. He comes over and introduces,
Ms. Nikon bounces upstairs to check on the time and I gather my courage to speak my piece:

KB: I saw you looking at me earlier, like you were mad at me.
R: Naw, I wasn’t angry, I was just surprised to see you, see
I know who you are, you are my crush, we both know J boogie,
and I planned on introducing myself at his function at the end of the month.
KB: He having a party? I didn’t know about that. [wow]
R: Yup, end of the month.
KB: So why me, not every day pretty girls come up to dudes, and say they have crushes.
R: I am at a point in my life where I am interested in being around people who are comfortable being themselves, and you strike me as one of those people. Your performance of Black male masculinity, is comfortable and eccentric. Me Gusta.

He nodded.

We chatted more.

We decided to leave and eat.
I checked in with my girl, said good bye and said,
“I see you, ummm hmm.” Told her to text me when she got in.

KB and I left to get something to eat.

I felt like Janey. Not letting the fear of rejection polarize me, choosing desire,
stating my piece and giving the outcome to God.

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He teased me, calling me Renina Jenkins. I was like stop or imma poke you.
Asked me how old I was, I handed him my ID, people
always ask me that ish, ‘cuz I read young but sound old.
I never show anyone my id. But I did that night.

Vulnerable y Fearless.

We talked about the fact that I have an old snow tubing tag
on my coat.
At one point he was being a little sassy and hurt my feelings
and I was like, yo, why you talking like that…he responded, I was just trying to impress you and be funny. I was like just be yourself, that’s good money as is. We were cool again.

We talked about his art.

Then somehow the Slum Village song, came to my head, it goes:

Le feeee, leee faaa, ohhh hhh aha aaaaaaaaaaaaah.

He was like, “They are saying, Don’t Sell Yourself
to Fall in Love.”

I was like “REALLY? Wow, I kill rap lyrics.”

“How you know which song I meant?”

He said, “I could hear the melody, what does your hair look like?”

Done.

Two hours go by, talking and I realized that I enjoyed the conversation
because it was just that, a conversation.

Not where do you work, live, study? etc. After three questions from someone, I be feeling like am being interrogated.

On the real, sometimes, I be feeling like I want to hand people a resume when I first meet them just to get all those questions out the way. It was simply affirming to kick it with someone who didn’t act hella confused by my usage of “love bear” language, or the other eccentricities that entail this #blackgirlfromthefuture.

In fact, I mentioned to him that #blackgirlsarefromthe future.

He responded, “You should put that on t-shirts.”

“Its already in the works.”

In the end, I don’t know what will come of it.
We will may not ever see each other again. While I don’t wish for that I am cool with it.

You see, on Wednesday, I saw a conversation on gmail buzz that kinda had my heart in my throat. This crush experience was a nice recovery because it reminded me that, life is cool and that things happen on Gods time, not mine.

It also reminded me that yes, there are people in the world that feel me and can keep up, with they eccentric selves.? Umm hmm. I just have to be patient and remind myself that Change and Love are always possible.

#Crushbears2010!

You have any crushes lately?

You tell ’em ? Why or why not?

Zora and Dilla in the same post = #somuchwin

Future Global Gated Communites

by

I strongly suspect that our world is bifurcating into a global gated community where the folks in the first world/ global north will have access to:
Fruits and vegetables
Water
The internet
Physical Books
Information Economy Jobs
Jobs that provide direct support to the information economy

Whereas the folks in the third world/global south will:
Be the nannies, nurses and factory workers of the world
Be without adequate water
Subsist of off Mud Patties/ Fast + Junk food
Have limited or no meaningful access to the internet, outside of that for entertainment purposes

How did I get here?

Food.

Or more precisely vegetables.

Tom Philpott, a thinker, writer, environmental dude who? understands race, history, structural forces and labor, is the person that put me on to food deserts, which are basically neighborhoods with hella junk food but no fruits, vegetables and good grocery stores.

Perhaps most importantly he is the person who said outloud that cheap food requires cheap labor. I have never seen a White man with a public platform connect food, to labor and essentially globalization and race.

Reflecting on food and social justice on Martin Luther King Jr. Day last month Philpott writes,

In our society, there?s a strong focus on individual solutions to the problems I?m laying out here. Commentators focus on personal choice; we are urged to ?transform our food system one bite at a time? by exercising our consumer power to buy fresh, local, sustainably raised food.

But the choices we have are limited by structural forces. Yes, people need to take responsibility for their food choices, but if we?re really going to throw off the dead hand of industrial food, we need to transform the conditions under which people make their food choices.

Last week during the fourth day of the great blizzard, the Giant ran out of vegetables, so I schlepped a subway station and 5 more blocks south to Whole Foods for carrots and mushrooms to make baked ziti, and paid 25% more for the groceries than I would have at the Giant. I spent my pedicure money.? Its been eight weeks. Arrrg.

It was then that I realized that given our conversation’s about food, access to fresh foods, to fruits and vegetables is a privilege for the middle class and the elite.

I thought it was ironic that this was also the day in which Mrs. Obama launched her Let’s Move child obesity initiative I was hunting down vegetables for a weeks worth of dinner.

I had a twitter conversation about this issue with @Rafikam and he asked why don’t low income hoods?raise hell when they don’t have access to fresh fruits, vegetables and good grocery stores? He stated that if fresh fruits and vegetables weren’t available on the upper east side, there would be a ruckus.

I responded asking him:
Can folks in the hood can’t get d-boys off of their corners?
Can folks in the hood also stop the police from shooting them in cold blood?

We went back and forth and we both concluded? that the issue is both systemic and personal, simultaneously.

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So,? how do I tie this into global gated communities.

Ultimately there are a few things that have me thinking about society
bifurcating into two communities.

As I discussed above, the first thing is food.

The second issue that the Supreme court allowing the corporations
to classified as persons for the purposes of spending money
in elections. For me that is akin to a dope boy moving from the corner,
hustling, to moving to my living room to hustle. And daring me to say something about it.

What happens to a democracy when corporations can spend unlimited amounts on campaigns without having to disclose that they have?

The second is the Ipad/Amazon/MacMillan fall out. The gist of it is
that MacMillan and a few other publishers pulled their books from Amazon.com a couple of weeks ago. ALL their print and digital titles, while they tried figure out how much to charge for e-books, $9.99-$14.99.

The first thing I thought was, if books go digital, whats to stop them from being bootlegged like albums?

If books go digital, how will people in the global south have access to books that can help free them? Liberate them?

Let me put it this way. If the global south is being touted as the nanny/sexworker/factory zone of the world, why would the elites who run the global north give the internet to folks in the global south?

When you play chess do you help the other team win?

The fourth, I was reading Field Guide to the Global Economy for class and learning that when GM moved jobs from Detroit in 1996, they paid $18.96 an hour, when they moved to Mexico they paid workers $1.54. But the cost of a GM Suburban didn’t go down. In 1994 it was $21-24K, in 1996 they were $23,500-$31K

Funny, whenever we hear about jobs being moved, the actual dollar amounts are never mentioned. Puts things into perspective no?

The fifth issue that has influenced my thinking about global gated communities is the slow motion implosion of California, the worlds 8th largest economy and the privatization of the UC System. What happens to a state when working class and middle class parents can no longer send their children to a public institution for an education?

The sixth and last issue that has influenced my thinking is learning that that the igeneration expects to be connected digitally 24 hours per day. Sharon Jayson writes in USA Today,

Kathryn Montgomery, a communication professor at American University in Washington, D.C., and author of the 2007 book Generation Digital, hears similar stories from her students. “They tell me their younger siblings have different relationships with these technologies,” she says.

The difference is that these younger kids “don’t remember a time without the constant connectivity to the world that these technologies bring,” she says. “They’re growing up with expectations of always being present in a social way ? always being available to peers wherever you are.”

After I read this, I thought, what happens to a society where the young people expect to be connected digitally, 24 hours per day? How will this impact their ability to interact with other human beings without a layer of technology acting as a median?

Global Gated Communities?

Thoughts?

Am I wrong for nannies/sexworkers/factoryworkers?