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On Becoming Bleek Gilliam, On Becoming Janie

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If you know me you know I can’t stand no Bleek Giliam nor the people

who remind me of him.? Yet I tend to date them anyways. #Ouch.

Bleek Gilliam is Denzel Washington’s in Mo’ Betta Blues who Loved his Boo’s and often Loved his art even more.

Last week, I realized why I hate Bleek so much, because in many ways I am him. Arrrrrg.

Earlier this month at a little Libra function two different people I dealt with were there.

The night went fine until the next morning when I learned that SD got one of my best girl friends.

I was like “Aye Blood, How you gone get at her knowing that I Love her, that shit was real sloppy.” It was then that I realized that he ain’t got no code, and because of that he dangerous.

It was one thing for him to BRING a pretty Black girl to the function, I expected that I wasn’t excited but she we grown, let it do what it do. It was another thing to holler @ my homie. Feel me. Sloppy!

He subsequently apologized and said he was ashamed but you know what blood,? its been awkward ever since, which is a reminder that that shit ain’t right.

I was very careful with the invitations. I prayed on them to be honest. What I didn’t do is give the right of first refusal and say, “Aye Blood, so and so gone be there, so you better have some act right” or ” you may or may not want to come, just an fyi.”

A couple of days later when Sbot learned what I did, she said call Bacon Grits, quick. I listened to her and I was glad I did. He suspected something was fishy and because I am taking some time to fall back and focus on my classes and teaching this fall, he knew we wouldn’t be talking to me as much, so he decided to wait to say something.

By bringing it up, I showed both integrity and a willingness to admit that I fucked up. He recognized that what I did wasn’t malicious, but still, I ain’t know.? I now realize going forward that I need to give folks the right of refusal.

I learned in that conversation that he was angry enough to stop dealing with me. I got #shook.

So how am I Bleek?

Bleek had his Love Bears. He also LOVED his work, his art.

I realize that as much as this quality irritates me in the people that I date, I also find it attractive AND I can also be the same way. Arrg.

A lawn can add great viagra prices charm to the beauty of your place. To apply for this offer first you must visit the portal once. cialis without prescriptions PK Gupta buy cialis overnight provides many treatments like Nightfall Treatment in Delhi, Penis Enlargement treatment, Erectile Dysfunction, impotence treatment, etc. If the spouse or child is in order generic cialis http://opacc.cv/documentos/CodigodeEticaeDeontologiadaOPACC_28.12.2015.pdf removal proceedings, the law also offers relief based on battery or mental suffering previously endured. You see I was hurting a couple of weekends ago. I told BG I was gon’ fall back, pray, listen to my heart, and get some work done.

I got A LOT of work done, but my life was so quiet without the constant hum of our contact. Phone calls, text messages, etc.

I was like dannnng. What if he meet somebody else in the meantime.

What is I gone do?

I can’t control that though. It is what it is until it ain’t.

It was then that I realized that this dude is in a whole OTHER category because he centers his relationships with his friends and family. He PUTS THEM over money. I know very few people like this, let alone Black men. (No shade to Black men, but ya’ll be representing #teamPatriarchy-A man ain’t a man unless he go stoopid dough, real hard.)

I understand how valuable and precious this is. Full stop.

At the same time I know I am driven and attracted to that? passion, a plan, conviction and commitment, OTHER Bleeks.

Court Bear,my datingn co blew my byrd up when she said people in general, men specifically, are rarely good at both as they are not socialized to be. Plus learning to be good at relationships takes time and a willingness to learn, like being good at anything. Arrg.

Which is brings me to Bleek. Ms. Nikon Jawn shared with me on Thursday that women are socialized to “give up their ” lives in pursuit of a partner. That sounds like a fertile ground for growing resentments.? And that this is a part of the reverb that I am feeling.

Trust. I am rooted in desire.? This is where Janie comes in. Janie looking for a bee for a her blossom, moving on when husbear number one or two wasn’t doing her right. I try to treat people humanly with the tools that I have at the moment.

I don’t know WHAT to make of all this. What I do know fer show, is that the outcome of none of this is mine. Honestly when I admit this and my Bleek tendencies, I feel better. I also feel better when I admit that it is my job to seek advice, listen to my heart and apologize when I fuck up.

#blackgirlsarefromthefuture.

yzr.

You know any Bleek Gilliam’s?

Does that analogy make sense?

Do you be Bleek too?

Musing on “Can African Americans Find Their Voice in Cyber Space”

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Via Founding Bloggers.

Earlier this month, The White House invited some Black bloggers to The White House for a meeting. I found it interesting that none of the Black bloggers who do work on race, gender, community activism, whom I know, were NOT present.

Here are some posts on it:

White House Meeting for Black Journalists Doesn’t Stay off the Record Long. @ The New York Times.

In Defense of Black Bloggers Having a Relationship with the White House @Jack and Jill Politics.

Black Bloggers Get Played by the White House @ Black Agenda Report.

This reminded me of a post I read last year titled “Can African American’s Find Their Voice in Cyberspace?” by Henry Jenkins of MIT’s Media Lab.

The post is a transcript of a conversation between Jenkins and Dayna Cunningham, Director of the Community Innovator’s Lab at MIT based on a lecture she gave in his? New Media Literacies class.

This spoke to me for two reasons. First, I am a Black woman and self identified feminist who has been blogging regularly for nearly five years. The earlier posts where shorter and more interested in hip hop, news analysis and my reflections in law school. In 2008 I began to write short and long form essays about street harassment, gentrification, Black women, masculinity, femininity and my dating life.

Second that I am interested in the tension between blog advertisers and blog audience and how this impacts Black voice online.

@Rafikam says you can only serve your audience or your advertisers. Rarely both. Highly niche sites can do this.? I would be willing to, ON MY OWN terms. Feministing is a site that is able to do this. However, I would imagine that there are limits to this as well.

Thirdly, I am interested in using social media as a politcal education and awareness raising tool.

I am going to quote some of Dayna Cunningham’s conversation and add some commentary beneath. You know what it is.

What is Black Discourse?

Let me start by saying that from where I stand, collective discourse, debate, dissent and demand are crucially necessary for building the political will to advance African Americans’ equity claims. Black voice is critical to this process.

Cool.? Discourse is debate, conversation about something.

She is not talking about ANY discourse but the discourse online related to Black people’s freedom in the US.

Where does Black voice come from?

Black voice stems from the schizophrenic daily experience of being un-free in a society that claims freedom as its first principle. Black voice provides a unique, and I would argue, necessary, perspective on the failures of American democratic institutions.

We ALL know about this. I mean, we learn it at an early age, across class meaning, we learn it no matter how much money our parents make. Money can buffer some of the effects of racism, trust, but at the end of the day Black is Black.

How White Folks Agenda’s Affect Black Politics

Electoral and legislative campaigns by definition demand cultivation of the white electoral majority’s opinions and carry inherent risk that they will censure claims or interests that are unpleasant to that majority.

This may be very hard for folks to appreciate and digest. But she is basically saying that focusing on elections and all that, historically, involves catering to and pushing against what working class (folks with retail jobs)? and elite white folks? (Wall streeter’s, Madison avenue executives, College professors, Fortune 500 CEO’s) THINK Back folks should have.

Making Politician’s Do Right By Us

Without a prior agenda-setting discourse enabling African American communities to arrive at some collective decisions about their shared future, I can’t imagine either innovation in support of, or accountability to, black concerns.

She is asking, how can we hold politicians accountable to us, if WE don’t talk about and define an agenda?

I would argue that today, black politics has largely been reduced to the electoral and legislative spheres; African American media too often promote black celebrity and individual advancement, and along with much of the black civic infrastructure, rarely focus on freedom discourse as a means of exploring strategies for collective political action and accountability to black interests.

What does it mean that some of the biggest Black blogs online are press release mills that lightweight resemble Jet + Ebony lite?

What I am asking us to think about is the significance of the most heavily trafficked Black voices online being sites fascinated with celebrity.

Do we want to do something about it?

Are their people doing something about it?

What are the consequences of doing nothing?

Does the election of President Obama mean that Black Voice doesn’t matter?

Has Obama’s election signaled the dawn of a post-racial moment in which black voice no longer is relevant or necessary? Not likely. African American progress has ground to a halt since the early 1970s, coinciding with a series of policy assaults that shifted massive state and federal resources from increasingly-black cities to suburbs. These policy assaults, cutting social advancement while criminalizing poverty, occurred during Democratic as well as Republican administrations and at all levels of government regardless of the presence of black elected officials.

Wow. So. Since the ’70’s the federal and state money followed white folks and affluent folks of color out of the city into the suburbs. True. #ShoutOutToTheWaronDrugs. And in many ways, I would add that that money is on its way back as affluent people return to the cities.

The Majority of White Folks DID Not Vote for President Obama

The majority of whites did not support Obama (according to the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, McCain/Palin carried the white popular vote nationally, 55-43 percent). They are even less likely to support the kinds of radical policy interventions needed to reverse the last thirty years’ conscious and systematic disinvestment in black communities.

Talk about post racial fantasies. Somebody smoking crills.

Whats the difference between electing a candidate and getting your groups agenda met?

I would argue that though it will create rich opportunities for people to gain political experience and to engage in important forms of collective action, the Obama post-election process is unlikely to be a sound substitute for the political process of black freedom discourse.

Electing a someone is not the same as making them do right so your hood looks the way YOU think it should look.

Black Folks on the Internet Speaking Back to the Majority.

How would it provide opportunities for people to hear a range of policy proposals and decide which ones they prefer? How would it enable debate? How would it give access to deeply marginalized black voices–gang-involved kids, incarcerated and formerly incarcerated, undocumented immigrants, HIV/AIDS survivors? How can these groups find opportunities for speech back to the majority?

Here she is asking how marginalized folks can use the internet to speak back to the majority.

Lots of information to digest.

What can you do?

1. Learn who is on your city council and vote.

2. Learn who is on your local school board and if it is possible vote or support someone on there that whose politics you support.

3. Become a part of your cities police civilian review board, which monitors allegations of police abuse.

4. Read about Black Political History? Here is a short starter reading list:

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5. Find an old head in your community to talk about the political history of your city/town.

6.Read something from the above list or share a link below. Do you have any other ideas? Any other readings, videos, online essays that should be added to the list.

7. Adopt a politician or a first grade class. And stay on them.

8. Email me and @afrolicious to sign up for 100V.
100visionaries x gmail. More about 100V here and here.

Black Women’s Sexuality Project Lit Review

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I am doing a project on Black Womens Sexuality and here is the begining of my lit review.

I am focused on work written in the last 20 years, but historical works that changed the game must be used as well.

My goal is to use this information to work on the Doc that I mention that I am working on in my Bio. Luls.

I really need academic articles and films and fiction.

Please include recommendations in the comments and Thank you for helping me. *Cough* Moya & Jess.

Books

Jacqueline Bobo, Black Women as Cultural Readers, 0th ed. (Columbia University Press, 1995).

Cathy Cohen, The Boundaries of Blackness: AIDS and the Breakdown of Black Politics, 1st ed. (University Of Chicago Press, 1999).

Ann Cvetkovich, An Archive of Feelings: Trauma, Sexuality, and Lesbian Public Cultures (Duke University Press, 2003).

Angela Y. Davis, Women, Race, & Class, 1st ed. (Vintage, 1983).

Angela Y. Davis, Blues Legacies and Black Feminism: Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, Bessie Smith, and Billie Holiday, 1st ed. (Vintage, 1999).

E. Patrick Johnson and Mae G. Henderson, Black Queer Studies: A Critical Anthology (Duke University Press Books, 2005).

Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality, Vol. 1: An Introduction (Vintage, 1990). Shayne Lee, Erotic Revolutionaries: Black Women, Sexuality, and Popular Culture (Hamilton Books, 2010).

Jennifer L. Morgan, Laboring Women: Reproduction and Gender in New World Slavery (University of Pennsylvania Press, 2004).

Tricia Rose, Longing to Tell: Black Women Talk About Sexuality and Intimacy (Picador, 2004).

Janet Price and Margrit Shildrick, Feminist theory and the body: a reader (Taylor & Francis, 1999).

T. Sharpley-Whiting, Pimps Up, Ho’s Down: Hip Hop’s Hold on Young Black Women (NYU Press, 2007).

Greg Thomas, Hip-Hop Revolution in the Flesh: Power, Knowledge, and Pleasure in Lil’ Kim’s Lyricism (Palgrave Macmillan, 2009).

Deborah Gray White, Ar’n’t I a Woman?: Female Slaves in the Plantation South, Revised Edition. (W. W. Norton & Company, 1999).

Articles

Evelynn Hammonds, ?Black (W)holes and the Geometry of Black Female Sexuality.,? Differences: A Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies 6, no. 2 (Summer94 1994): 126.

Fiction

Gayl Jones, Corregidora (Beacon Press, 1987).

Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (Harper Perennial Modern Classics, 2006).

Films

Leslie Harris, Just Another Girl on the Irt [VHS] (Miramax Films, 1997).

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Jacqueline Bobo, Black Women as Cultural Readers, 0th ed. (Columbia University Press, 1995).

Cathy Cohen, The Boundaries of Blackness: AIDS and the Breakdown of Black Politics, 1st ed. (University Of Chicago Press, 1999).

Ann Cvetkovich, An Archive of Feelings: Trauma, Sexuality, and Lesbian Public Cultures (Duke University Press, 2003).

Angela Y. Davis, Women, Race, & Class, 1st ed. (Vintage, 1983).

Angela Y. Davis, Blues Legacies and Black Feminism: Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, Bessie Smith, and Billie Holiday, 1st ed. (Vintage, 1999).

E. Patrick Johnson and Mae G. Henderson, Black Queer Studies: A Critical Anthology (Duke University Press Books, 2005).

Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality, Vol. 1: An Introduction (Vintage, 1990). Shayne Lee, Erotic Revolutionaries: Black Women, Sexuality, and Popular Culture (Hamilton Books, 2010).

Jennifer L. Morgan, Laboring Women: Reproduction and Gender in New World Slavery (University of Pennsylvania Press, 2004).

Tricia Rose, Longing to Tell: Black Women Talk About Sexuality and Intimacy (Picador, 2004).

Janet Price and Margrit Shildrick, Feminist theory and the body: a reader (Taylor & Francis, 1999).

T. Sharpley-Whiting, Pimps Up, Ho’s Down: Hip Hop’s Hold on Young Black Women (NYU Press, 2007).

Greg Thomas, Hip-Hop Revolution in the Flesh: Power, Knowledge, and Pleasure in Lil’ Kim’s Lyricism (Palgrave Macmillan, 2009).

Deborah Gray White, Ar’n’t I a Woman?: Female Slaves in the Plantation South, Revised Edition. (W. W. Norton & Company, 1999).

Articles

Evelynn Hammonds, ?Black (W)holes and the Geometry of Black Female Sexuality.,? Differences: A Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies 6, no. 2 (Summer94 1994): 126.

Fiction

Gayl Jones, Corregidora (Beacon Press, 1987).

Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (Harper Perennial Modern Classics, 2006).

Films

Leslie Harris, Just Another Girl on the Irt [VHS] (Miramax Films, 1997).

Spike Lee, She’s Gotta Have It (Island Pictures, 1986).

Spike Lee, She Hate Me (Sony Pictures, 2005).

Kasi Lemmons, Eve’s Bayou (Lions Gate, 2003).

Donna Deitch, The Women of Brewster Place (XENON, 2001).

Kasi Lemmons, Eve’s Bayou (Lions Gate, 2003).

Donna Deitch, The Women of Brewster Place (XENON, 2001).

Soon Come.

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^^Rothko, my favorite.

I miss ya’ll. I expect to post soon.

Since I have been away I have had a birthday, had a lover hurt my feelings, learned that I really enjoy bbq chix snacks, became fully integrated in my google calendar, learned to conduct in depth oral interviews, realized that NO one messes with my Sunday nights, had a peer threaten to NARC on me to a professor, had another professor tell me to find EVERYTHING written about Back women’s sexuality since 1985, made hella amends after hurting a friend, threw myself into Ta’ing and practicing being engaged with my students, realized that I Love fall lightweight more than spring, learned that I Hate Bleek Gilliam because I am Bleek Gilliam, THAT I am really brave because a BOO thang READ the Vulnerable and fearless post on his phone while I sat next to him and I didn’t explode- in fact I felt alive, I refocused on my work,? I learned that while I am attracted to passionate people that basic human relationships skills are hot as well, I feel back from a relationship and let my heart desire it as well.

So yeah.

I been busy.

Looking forward to transcribing my second interview for this paper on Saturday and getting my face and ass grabbed this weekend. #fullmoonhoney.

How you been?

What do you want me to write about?

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Black Voice Online– Where is Black voice online in the age of Obama. In fact, why were most of the bloggers invited to The White House gossip bloggers.

Food Stamps vs. Soda-@rafikam and I went back and forth about this on twitter.

A report on The Black Girl Project– @Superhussy’s awesome film screened in DC on the 25th.

On the Housewifization of Male Labor– Maria Mies argues that the unpaid caring work that women do subsidizes the male wage but capitalism as well (ix). ‘The construction of woman as mother, wife and housewife was the trick by which? 50% of human labour was defined as? free resource.”

Is Hip Hop Political?– People argue it is, others argue it isn’t. I went back and forth with Jay Smooth about it earlier this year.

Finish up the Nixonland Conversation?- We started reading Nixonland last summer. Perhaps we can finish it.

Anything else I haven’t written about other than #NWNW. Peace to @racialicious.

No Time to Blog but…

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I saw this tweet and it spoke to me.

Have a good week.

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Sincerely,

~allcity