The same techniques used by white folks to keep Black men in check,
Black men use to keep Black women in check.
Last week on Twitter, I was chatting with @shehateme.
He mentioned something, probably a complaint, general
tweet like chatter. I responded, saying that he was strong,
that he would be okay. He responded saying, no “You are strong,
I want to be like you.”
Another, Tweeter, @darius_sinclair responded saying, “Yes she is
strong, like three men.“
I read it, and thought to myself, hmmmmm. Something about that statement
didn’t sit well with me. Before I responded, I thought about it,
because quite simply, attacking people isn’t productive nor my steez.
I asked @darius_sinclair, “Hey, what did you mean by this?” He responded,
simply, “That you you are strong.” Even though it seemed fairly innocuous,
it still didn’t sit right.
I asked a friend, who can sometimes help me see the forest for
the trees when it comes to race and gender theory. He said, quite simply,
“In our culture, women who challenge men, are not women, they are
not feminine, they are strong, and the only strong people are men.”
I turned to him and said, “I don’t know my place?” Then I nodded
saying I don’t know my place because one of my gifts is that
I feel comfortable everywhere (except in Projects that I don’t know,
they have me on edge, until I know the locations of key players.)
In a previous life, I was going to be a lawyer. What kind
of lawyer could I have possibly been if I didn’t feel comfortable
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Be analytical. Argue statutes. Argue Facts.
I had a teachable moment on the way that patriarchy (institutionalized
sexism) works.
As a woman, if I challenge anyone, especially men, I am not
a woman, I am not feminine, I am a man.
There is simply no room for me, as a woman, to like sports- its masculine,
to be into games, technology and programming- its masculine, to
be an argumentative lawyer- its masculine, to be a philosopher- its
masculine.
Implicitly when women are called strong, the motivation is to shut us up,
to silence us, and to try make us feel ashamed. While that may not necessarily
have been the case on Twitter last week, it is the way that gender functions
in our society.
It was then that I realized that the same techniques used by white folks
to keep Black men in check, Black men use to keep Black women
in check.
Lets discuss.