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Honey Magazine, Past, Present and Future

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I met Kierna Mayo, at dinner once.

She was beautiful, young and struggling with Honey Magazine.

Kierna Mayo and Jocelyn Dingle were the founding editors
of Honey Magazine.

I was a student at the New School, which was hosting
a media talk event of some sort, which I attended, where the fella’s from
Ego Trip magazine were discussing hip hop, magazines and race.

Kevin Powell, who I met previously through a friend, was at the
talk as well and invited me tag along to dinner, at the Indian
restaurant on 13th between 5th and 6th, with some of his friends,
Kierna Mayo and Karen R. Good.

This was a new experience for me, because I had never been
around a collective group of young Black artistic folks, who
were making their way in the world, earning an above poverty
living as working artists.

Previously, the young Black people that I knew with money
were the sons and daughters of professional’s, doctors,
lawyers and media personalities. For example, my “big sister”
at my college prep high school was Ciara Coleman,
Valerie Coleman’s daughter.

At dinner, Kierna turned to me and asked me what I was
working on. I told her that I wasn’t a “writer” but that I was
working on my senior thesis on the connection “Black
English, Gullah Languages and West .” She stared at me
for a moment and said, “That sounds absolutely amazing
and so different from any of the stuff that I am reading
right now.” At the time, I didn’t understand why a magazine
editor would be interested in my “little essay on Ebonics.”
However, I did feel special, but, I didn’t get what
the moment meant until years later.

After Kierna and Jocelyn lost Honey, in some ways, I was
soured on being a writer. I wanted to pursue it, but I saw
what happened to them, and I was type hesitant. Little did
I know that years later, I would have come to understand
that my passion is my passion. Stifle it if I wish, it was just
going to come out sideways.

And sideways it did. Last December, a dear friend invited
me to Honey Magazines relaunch party. Honey is being
relaunched as an online magazine and a social media network
website with a blog component which allows, folks to blog on
the Honey magazine website. I was invited to be a blogger, but
I think that the content on my other site, Brooklyn Magic is more
closely related to Honey, than the personal, random and
social commentary rantings here at Model Minority. I have
been toying with the idea of cross posting over there.

The past and present of Honey converged for me at the party.

It was surreal to be at that party, to have met and been
encouraged to write by Kierna and to see Honey relaunched
as an urban brand that wasn’t specifically black or decidly urban.

The one thing that I remember about the first few
issues of Honey was the interview with Lil ‘Kim where
she speaks honestly, if I recall correctly, about getting contacts,
wearing blond wigs and sex. It decreases appetite level of user and reduces the risk of heart levitra in india attack and strokes or kidney dysfunction. It is not necessary that only unmarried one may suffer from this problem, but even married women who have satisfying sex lives are prone to having a normal function. generic sildenafil india But, that purchaser has to learn that Kamagra is a generic brand of lowest priced viagra which provides the same effects and side effects. Commonly observed ones, viagra no prescription especially with excessive usage, include anxiety, insomnia, restlessness and even fever. Where in mainstream media
can you hear a Black woman talk about weaves, contacts
and sex? (Does anyone have a pdf of this interiew?)

Honey was edge, gritty, sassy and urban. We loved it.

Don’t get me wrong. The new Honey site is beautiful. But, there is
no difference between the look of the editorial and the look of the
website ads. It sort of blends together.

You know how you read a magazine, and there is a page that
is an advertisement, but it looks like an article. That’s what the
editorial aspects of the site remind me of.

After leaving that party and thinking about my blog, I realized
several things. The new Honey magazine site taught me that Model
Minority blog is special because my content is decent, I have
found my niche and my community is strong. I know
that these two things do not happen overnight.

I realized that as a writer, having a platform and a targeted
audience is a gift. I realized that not only did have one, but
that my site design should match my content and that it was
time to do a relaunch. The url has been purchased, the site
has been designed, now, I am waiting for my new logo.

Speaking of logo’s, I realized that my tagline was special as well.
While, I used Thug’s, Feminist’s and Boom Bap, to describe
what I was interested it, the tagline really describes the interests of my
audience as well. Then a lightbulb went off, I decided that,
Thugs, Feminists and Boom Bap would be the basis of the logo
for the New Model Minority site.

I now have a better understanding of Kierna’s appreciation
of my Gullah essay. Given the barrage of unoriginal material
on blogs and in print, I now get the moment that I had with her.

I also have a better understanding of the fact that when it comes to
being creative, it takes that what it takes. As cliched as it sounds,
it is about the process.

Y’all remember Honey?
Do you remember urban magazines in general?
All the magazines will be online soon? No?

The Failure of the Strong Black Woman

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One of surefire ways of avoiding victimhood is
asking for what you need.

Sometimes it is used to help women overcome the effects of hypoactive tadalafil for sale cheap sexual desire disorder. The instability of the menstrual volume, cycle and super viagra active blood will be affected as well. When there is a threat of danger, people will go into their panic zone which breeds dysfunctional behavior and General Practitioners It is my assessment that anybody with a dysfunctional behavior ought to have a fitting emotional well-being assessment by a psychiatric expert – a speacheter viagra pfizer t. The viagra 20mg reason behind this is easy: driver’s inexperience and immaturity that often results risk-taking when driving.

This, can be a tremendously difficult thing to do, simply because
you make yourself vulnerable to being rejected.
That being said, as a tool for getting out of victim hood thinking,
I have begun to ask people for things with I need. For example,
“I need a successful pitch letter because I am trying to publish
three articles this year, can you get one for me?”
“I need help moving, can you help me? “
“I need help storing boxes, can you help me?”

It is no one else’s job but my own to determine what I
need.

Here is the added caveat, I also say, its okay, if you can’t,
just let me know so that I can ask someone else.
This forces me to ask for what I need, avoid being a victim,
and gives the person room to say no and not feel bad.
I find that if I am not getting any traction on the goals
that I have set for myself, I am either not being disciplined
enough, I am not asking for help, or both.
It is very easy to look around at others whose
careers are blossoming or whose projects are
blowing up and hate them, because they
doing what they need to do to get their needs met.
It is very easy to look around at others and see
that their needs are taken care of and be angry
at myself because my needs are not being met.
It is something totally different to sit down and think
about what I need, to think about how I can get it, to
thinking about who I can call and say
“I need your help, I want to start a new website
on gentrification, can you design my banner?”
It is something totally different to sit down and think
about what I need, to think about how I can get it, and
to have the discipline to think about the small
intermediary goals before the big goals.
Which brings me to the Failure of the Strong Black Woman.
Wallace talks about being called a Strong Black Woman.

It made me cringe to hear men refer to me as “strong,”
because I knew they were referring to the historical
me, he monolithic me- the invincible black woman who
made their penises shrivel up in their bellies, who reminded
them that they had no power to control their own destinies,
much less hers, who made them loathe and want to destroy
that woman. Never realizing how imaginary her “strength”
really was, I swore never to use it.

Wallace’s description of the term, “Strong”, underscores
the discomfort that many of us have had with it.

Yes, I want to be called strong because I am survivor.

I also have had to remind myself that strong doesn’t mean
that I don’t need help.

I would imagine that you are asking what is the connection
between having my needs met to the myth of the Strong Black
Woman?

Well, they are connected because we, Black women,
tend to put the needs of our families, our children and our partners
first. If we constantly put the needs of others first, we will
consistently be saying yes on the outside and resentful on the inside.

Yes, our families are a priority. Yes our partners are a priority.

But, our financial, spiritual and creative health comes first.

I can’t take care of anyone if I am in my grave.

Think about your needs lately?

Why is it so hard to do that?

I am thinking about Rihanna.

Medicine for Melancholy

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San Francisco has ten Black people.

Okay, it has more than ten Black people, but the scarcity
of Negro’s in the city of St. Francis was ever present
throughout the film, Medicine for Melancholy.

When I lived in Oakland last year, there were a few times that I
felt like the only Black girl on Mission street. I made due by hanging
out in Revolution Cafe and blogging.

Medicine for Melancholy is about what happens when two
Black people, a man and a woman,
have a one night stand in San Francisco,
and stumble through spending the rest of the weekend
together. As ED is more prevalent among men above the cheap super cialis age of sixty. viagra 25 mg Uncovering fact from fiction, or in this case, folklore, can be a confusing process. There is cialis discounts absolutely nothing much more inspiring then hearing that somebody has been via the same discomfort as you and come out on the other hand, disgrace or “execution anxiety” can compound a physical issue. medications — Many solutions reason issues with sexual limit. Nowadays it’s possible to buy any prescription or generic drug, being at home or anywhere else where cialis levitra price internet connection is available. Talk about attack of the borderless relationships.

But it is also about gentrification, class identity, interracial
relationships, infidelity, work and Blackness.

The sound track is awesome, I spotted a Madlib joint,
and the credits confirmed it.

In fact, I don’t think I have seen Black people in a city, in a Black
and white theatrical release, since Spike’s She’s Gotta Have It.

I won’t give the end away, but I will say that I am happy that
the woman had agency. Awesome.

Marinate with M.dot

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Hoods to Woods trailer #2 from Brian Paupaw on Vimeo.

My homie Deka has a new film coming about
being a snow boarder from Bed Stuy, titled from Hoods
to Woods. My favorite part of the trailer was the young buck
backflips off the fence and Dekka says, “If I put them sho’ties
on some snow boards, they ‘prolly tear it up.”
Tear it up and leave it new at the same time.

Last night, I was reading a book about creating Boundaries
in relationships and was blown away by two statements. The first was,
“People with shaky limits are often compliant on the outside,
but rebellious and resentful on the inside.” Amen. The other is
that, “As you develop better boundaries, you have less of a need
for anger. This is because in many cases, anger was the only
boundary you had.” Church.

Please vote for my friend Marquette’s film, “Hero’s Wanted.”
It is in a competition on Channel 13. It takes 45 seconds.
We are Not Quitters. (Can we trademark that shit?)

Did you know that the Blackend part of fish is created by putting
chili pepper on it?

I have found that Gotty’s Google feed is better than most
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I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be a victim
if I say no and move.

Here are some interesting things I have found around the web.
Donwills, McDay job is so simple. I knew it, when I clicked on it
that it had personality and that I would like it. Barry Michael
Cooper is over at Open Salon doing his thing. You know
I love Oakland Goodness (Thank you Ms. Around Harlem.)

Did you know that Salon has started, Open Salon? I will be cross
linking there very soon!

My hands are faster than my mind. And my mind is pretty ‘effin fast.

I saw Medicine for Melancholy. Thinking about a post for it.

My, Black Women, Property Twice, gets a lot of love at Blogher.

What are you marinating on right now?

Tyler Perry and Chris Brown: A Teachable Moment

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Earlier this week I was sitting in on a class about the Myth of
the Black Mammy.

Tyler Perry and the fact that his films are popular with
white crowds and Black crowds alike came up. I mentioned
that Black comedians have a history of dressing up like
Black women begining with Red Fox and Flip Wilson.
I went on to say that in some ways it is a rights of passage
for Black male comedians to dress like older Black women,
ridicule them. I pointed out that these are the very women
who have held down both Black and White families
throughout history.

The professor mentioned that one of the reasons why
Tyler Perry’s films are funny is because Madea says things
out loud that Black women have been saying to themselves
since forever.

The professor went on to mention how her mother told her that
if a man ever put his hands on her, that you wait until he went to sleep
and you poured boiling hot water on him. She then went on
to mention the regional differences. In New York, it was lye,
in the west it was grease, in the midwest it was hot grits,
in the south it was just using a hot iron skillet.

A white student raised her hand and mentioned that her
mother never told her anything about what to do if a man
put his hands on her and that in watching Madea was the
first time she heard a woman speak that way. There were
several murmurs in the class from other white women about
how they are beat, and that their mothers hadn’t given them
a language, pep talk or pre-conditioning to understand, anticipate
or deal with it.

This was remarkable for me. In some ways I came to appreciate
the survival skills that all of our momma’s have given us over
time.

Which brings me to Rihanna. I wonder if she followed her intuition.
I wonder what her mother taught her. I wonder what her dad taught her.

There is nothing like being beat. Q: What is the right dosage for taking viagra generika ? A:The maximum dosage is 10mg. This stress bring along something else too, a physical pain which has now become an integral part of our lives. levitra samples Stored food coffee fresh longer in viagra 100mg sales these kinds of bags. order cialis An ED considered one of the most awkward stages is men, which makes them fail enjoy their sexual escapades, they will also restore their pride, and prove their doubters wrong. There is nothing like being beat by
a loved one.

Here is where the teachable moment comes in . Here is an opportunity
for us to get involved in the lives of young people.

We often joke about Ike beating Tina, however this photo, if it is
true, it shows us just how dehumanizing violence is.

We can’t fix what happened between them, in fact we don’t know
what happened between them. However, given the attention
that the issue is receiving what we can do is take care of ourselves
and be an example to our peers and to the young people that watch
how we move.

If you want to get involved there are a few organizations that do work
around gender and violence. The UNFPA does workshops. Women
Against Domestice Violence lists workshops and shelters. The Audre
Lorde Projects does workshops and trainings around gender violence.

What did you feel when you saw the Rihanna photo?

Have you thought about how Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence,
Tyler Perry, Flip Wilson and Red Fox have all dressed up like
older Black women?

For the women, did you momma’s tell you anything in terms of
what to do if a many ever hit you?