“He Sleeps Around But He Gives Me A Lot”


While reading Ayana Byrd’s essay “Claiming Jezebel: Back Female Subjectivity and Sexual Expression in Hip Hop,” while preparing for my lecture on women’s bodies and rap videos I came across an interesting quote by and about Foxy Brown? on the “Ain’t No Nigga” era. Byrd writes quoting Foxy,

“At sixteen I was just so happy to have a nice car and a nice home that I didn’t complain about my image,” Foxy said in Essence Magazine. “I had all the influences around me, and I wasn’t always strong enough to come back like no, I don’t want to do that.”

I was tripping off the fact that she was 17 when this joint dropped, and we didn’t blink.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter if she was 17 or 35, because you know what blood, many of us subscribe to this policy.

“He sleeps around but he gives me a lot” is problematic for two reasons.

First it reduces human relationships to financial transactions.

Second, if he sleeps around and he gives us a lot, then what does that mean to our HIV and various other STD statuses? What if you getting “a lot” means not wearing a condom? Black peoples STD’s statuses are high. This of course has to do with both our choices and access to health care. According to the CDC,

Racial disparities in HIV diagnoses are particularly severe among young people. Overall, blacks made up half (51%) of all new HIV diagnoses between 2001 and 2005. But among youth aged 13 ?24, blacks accounted for 61 percent of diagnoses.

Genital ulcers (e.g., syphilis syphilis, , herpes herpes, or , chancroid chancroid) ) result in breaks in the genital tract lining or skin which create a portal of entry for HIV.

Individuals who are infected with STDs are at least two to five times two times more likely than uninfected more individuals to acquire HIV.

On Black women and sexual mixing patterns.

You and I both no that I don’t do puritanical. A ‘tall. There is enough of that in the world all ready. See Tyler Perry. However these questions needs to be asked and the statistics need to be reflected on.

I write this because I am concerned about how we make choices about our bodies and pleasure.

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There is a scene in For Colored Girls where Jo (Janet Jackson) learns that she has HIV because her husband, who apparently is a Black man who has sex with men, but doesn’t call himself gay.

Jo knew/suspected, yet chose to stay. In many ways she turned herself into an object.

This gay = AID’s is the bane of my existance because it normalizes the idea that Black women get HIV because of Black men who have sex with men who don’t share this information with us.

Raw dog feels good. Pleasure feels good. I wager that many of us take part in high risk sexual activities, ie having consistent or even sporadic sex with someone without consistently wearing protection and this is how many of us contract STD’s.

This summer Latoya was telling me of a researcher (I forget her name, but will add when I find out) who says that we participate in concurrent sexual networks. I like that idea. Because it shows how people are related.

Raw Dog has consequences. We ain’t gotta lie. I know sexuality is hella taboo, for Black women, but we grown and the girls and boys coming up after us are watching how we handle everything.

Our lives lightweight are depending on it.

Does it matter that Foxy was 17?

Blaming Gay men or Men who have sex with me, because some of us like and engage in raw dog?

Did you know the stats were that high for Black youth?

Jay-Z Blinks at ‘Big Pimping’ Lyrics and I Take Notice

In The Wall Street Journal last week Jay-Z blinked at some of the lyrics that he has used historically. He was referring to his bars on “Big Pimping”. Here is the first verse,

You know I thug ’em, fuck ’em, love ’em, leave ’em
Cause I don’t fuckin’ need ’em
Take ’em out the hood
Keep ’em looking good
But I don’t fuckin’ feed em
First time they fuss I’m breezin’
Talking ’bout what’s the reasons
I’m a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Better trust and believe ’em
In a cut where I keep ’em
‘Til I need a nut
‘Til I need to be (in) the guts
The it’s beep-beep and I’m pickin ’em up
Let ’em play with the dick in the truck
Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist incuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks
Just because you got good head
I’mma break bread
So you can be livin’ it up
Shit I part’s wit nothin
Y’all be frontin’
Me give my heart to a woman
Not for nothin’ never happen’
I’ll be forever mackin’
Heart cold as assassins, I got no passion
I got no patience and I hate waitin’
Hoe get your ass in

I mean shit, I do say that a sponsor/pimp is an owner so, he is just kinda laying it out, no?

How does a Black feminist respond, when one of the the world’s most famous rapper’s, blinks at saying this?

Where does a Black woman feminist meet a rapper where they are, is there such a thing in this context?

It reminds me of how easy it is to normalize talking shit about us and build a career off of it.
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It reminds me of a post I have been thinking of “Rap Music A World Built on Black Pussy.” Please note that I said rap, not hip hop. Huge difference.

It also reminds me of tone of white people and institutions that apologize for slavery. What is the point of an apology without restorative justice? The hood still look crazy. In fact, I was awakened by gun shots last night. Somebody was mad and bucking blood.

How is an apology or in this case a recognition of sexist lyrics impacting our lives?

Is it meaningful because it may be the beginning of much needed discourse?

On the Crunkfeminist’s blog, Crunktastic related Jay-Z’s misogyny blink to the politics of dating while being a Black feminist. An awesome read that inspired me to write this. Peep it here.

Is saying “I regret those lyrics” a beginning or posturing or a combination therein, given the fact that human beings are NOT linear. I know I am not.

No I am not saying that what Jay Z is saying is analogous to slavery.

What I am talking about is how both racism, and sexism work in similar ways AND how women of color in general and Black women specifically experiences racialized sexism. I have written about it, here, here and here.

I remember being reluctant to criticize myself and Mobb Deep on Racialicious. Now the only reason I hesitate is to ensure that I choose the appropriate words and tone to get my point across. #OldLadyRapshit. #PeacetoUnkut.

My silence never protected me, never had, never will.

Engaging with rappers be some hairy shit.

Moya tried to holler at Nelly on Twitter a month ago to discuss the issues that arose between Spelman women and the Tip Drill video, but that went awry.

Just because it went awry doesn’t mean we shouldn’t raise these questions. In fact, it probably means we should.

Jay-Z is worth nearly half a billion dollars.

Because Black wealth is hard to come by, and because as Leroi Jones has said? “an analysis of the state of Black music in America tells us something very particular about Black people and the US,” his language is worth being analyzed.

Thoughts?

Big Pimping?

“Misogyny Blink” in Rap music?

Jay-Z x Nzingha Stewart x For Colored Girls.

Last week I learned that in 2005 Jay-Z stopped the release of his autobiography, tentatively titled, The Black Book because he found it to be too personal. After reading this and realizing that Nzingha Stewart was originally signed to direct For Colored Girls, ? I concluded that a barometer of Black womens? freedom is our ability control, tell and disseminate our own images, our own stories.? John Jurgensen writes about Jay-Z’s decision in the? in the Wall Street Journal,

But he felt that the memoir, tentatively titled “The Black Book,” revealed too many personal details. “It was great, but I couldn’t do it…”

Sho’ll must be nice to control your own stories.

Nzinga Stewart was originally set to direct For Colored Girls.

Why Tyler Perry wound up directing it, I don’t know. It feels like he walked out with “all of our stuff.”

I know that Nzingha Stewart had been working on For Colored Girls for a hot minute.? An interview on the blog 21 Hustle speaks on the process by which Nzingha came to work on For Colored Girls,

Last week Lionsgate Films announced that it? had acquired these? rights? and signed? Stewart to direct from her? adaptation of? ?For Colored Girls,? the critically acclaimed play by Ntozake Shange, that was written as a series of 20 poems telling stories of love, abandonment, domestic abuse and other issues faced by black women.

It is? important to understand that Stewart, who is mostly known for directing music videos,? wasn?t just ?signed?? by Lionsgate to write and direct;? This is a project that evolved by Stewart putting the motion pictures of her mind into real life motion,? thus creating a dream job for herself.

When talking about the process of trying to secure the opportunity to direct the film, Nzingha said,

It?s been a roller coaster ride. The hardest thing to learn is just how much this town is a business. More than anything, its who you know, how to talk to people , and what impression you give in the room. Decisions are made based on that more than even the work itself. So I have to go in prepared not to just pitch the work but to almost to pitch myself. And to make this person feel comfortable being around me. Like if we make this movie together it wont be annoying to be around me for a full year. Hollywood is business, and you have to master that aspect of yourself. I used to be that kind of artist who felt like the work is good enough. Its like it doesn?t matter about the work sweetheart. You gotta sell your project.

God Bless her.

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Tyler Perry.

Chris Rock.

Lee Daniels.

Steve Harvey.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

When will we stop complaining and start supporting the independent Black women film directors who are committed to telling our stories?

Shout out to @MyaBee, @Hotcombpics, @tchaiko, @superhussy.

Or maybe we can complain and support?? 🙂

Ta-Nehisi Coates asked “Is ‘For Colored Girls’ a Classic”: My Response.

In March, Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote a blog post titled, “The Debatable Legacy of For Colored Girls.” He writes,

“I haven’t read it in years, but even as a younger person I remember thinking it was somewhat over the top and heavy-handed. Hence when I heard that Perry was involved my thoughts were more along the lines of “Of course” or “Perfect.” I could be off on this and I’d like to hear some discussion around this.”

Nearly four years ago, I shouted out Ta-Nehisi? Coates after reading an article of his in “O” magazine on his process of being a Black dad. I stated explicitly that publishers needed to give him a book deal. He responded to me a year later, and arranged to send me a galley of Beautiful Struggle, which I then reviewed on this blog. So i say this knowing that we have some limited history and I want to acknowledge that.

I have found Ta-Nehisi’s Black gender politics to be lacking on his blog and in some ways the questioning of whether or not For Colored Girls is classic symbolizes some of what troubles me about his Black gender politics.

When reading this post Moya asked me two questions. The first was, “Why does it matter to Ta-Nehisi Coates whether For Colored Girls is a classic?” The second is “Is he saying that because it is not a classic that it doesn’t matter if Tyler Perry butchers it?

This is not to say that For Colored Girls should not be questioned. Work around Black gender relations should be given a critical eye.

The issue for me is his reliance on his? memory as a basis for questioning whether or not it is a classic.

What does it mean that a Black man, at a popular White publication openly questions whether or not a work by Black feminist artist is a classic, having not read the work since his was younger?

Ta-Nehisi is a reader. Last summer he read and blogged so much about the civil war that he had me revisiting the founding fathers narratives on slavery and democracy. Blog post here, “The Coming Coming Jobless Society.”

In fact that he is currently re-reading Malcolm’s autobiography.? Why not reread For Colored Girls, then ask whether or not it’s a classic?

To read something is to deem it important, significant and worthy of your time.
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In the book Black Feminist Politics from Kennedy to Clinton Duchess Harris explains the significance of For Colored Girls. I picked up this book on Tuesday because I suspected that Dr. Harris would analyze the cultural moment out of which For Colored Girls emerged. I include three of her quotes below. She writes,

The work of Michelle Wallace and Ntozake Shange shook Black academe and the predominantly male establishment, creating necessary controversy that advanced the Black feminist movement. Without the debates the works? engendered, Black feminist writings would not be as developed as they are today.? Wallace and Shanges works were also necessary since they were articulations? not only about Black women, but by Black women, offering a narrative? that diverged considerably from the limiting sterotypes of the Monyihan report, as well as those books such as Soul on Ice by former Black power leader Eldridge Cleaver.

She also says,

Yet, the fact that Shange asserted women’s rights to have their own narratives and, moreover, the right to tell those narratives, opened the door to a new type of creative cultural production that expanded opportunities for Black women to explore, discuss, and understand the issues that affected their lives, as well as present these issues before a broader more diverse audience.

She goes on to say,

Shange also resisted the notion that she glamorized Black women at the expense of Black men, and insisted that her treatment of Black women was neither glamorizing or uplifting but rather a reflection of how she viewed reality.? Black men and some Black women were not accustomed to seeing Black women stand up for a Black autonomous feminism that questioned racism within White feminist? movements but also went against sexism within Black society. Such a stance is central to Wallace’s and Shange’s writing, since they did not attack all Black men- only the ones who abuse and oppress women and those who let other men so without educating them to act otherwise.

In the essay, “Neither Fish Nor Fowl: The Crisis of African American Gender Relations” Michelle Wallace said that a significant aspect of the Black feminist work is to,

“get black scholars and intellectuals of Orlando Patterson’s superb caliber to think seriously and write publicly about Black gender relations.”

In many ways Wallace’s sentiments towards Patterson captures my sentiment’s toward Ta-Nehisi.

Given Ta-Nehisi’s ability to dig in deep on a topic, AND the audience and platform that he has, he could conceivably impact the tone and content of Black gender discourse in profound ways.

Some great books on Black gender politics? (relationships between Black men and women) are When and Where I Enter by Paula Giddings,? Black Macho and the Myth of the Super Woman by Michelle Wallace and Black Feminist Theory from Margin to Center by bell hooks.

Do you think that For Colored Girls is a classic? Why or Why not?

Would you need to learn more in order to say so?

What is politically at stake when we discuss text we haven’t recently read?

When Blog Readers Respond: Ms. Whitney M.

Image from UK Daily Mail

This weekend I wrote a lot.

One of the posts was “Can African Americans Find Their Voice in Cyberspace?”

And Whitney Muse responded writing a comment so long that it crashed the comments box. I am honored!

One of the material differences between newspapers and blogs is the interaction between writers and readers. The explicitly ways in which readers speak back.

Below is a summary of Whitney’s response to my post.

I have reorganized her comment so that a comment or question (from me or Ms. Cunningham comes first, then Whitney’s response follows.)
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What does it mean that some of the biggest Black blogs online are press release mills that lightweight resemble Jet + Ebony lite?

Whitney: That the biggest Black blogs resemble Jet and Ebony is a way of limiting the use of technology and blogs as a political organizing tool. There?s no coverage of the blogs that are politically engaged & produce critical analysis in the style of Emerge magazine from the 1990s or the black press, ie-Chicago Defender, Philadelphia Tribune, etc. This allows black blogs to not be a part of? ?focus[ing] on freedom discourse as a means of exploring strategies for collective political action and accountability to black interests.? The biggest black blogs are yet another institution that?s not taking part in the rebuilding of the ?black civic infrastructure.?

I qouted Dayna Cunningham saying that she “would argue that today, black politics has largely been reduced to the electoral and legislative spheres?

Whitney: I?d argue that black politics have been reduced to the electoral sphere only, at least in federal politics. Black Politics are brought up legislatively when corporate policies need a black face to get sympathy/support. Recent examples include the ban on flavored cigarettes that was written to exclude menthols, which are very popular among blacks; Cathy Hughes as the face of opposition to the Radio/Performance Tax; little black children as the face of No Child Left Behind when GWB signed it into laws in 2001; and the voucher & charter school movements as escapes from failing urban schools & as tools to help black children but are actually fronts for hedge fund/Wall Street/foundation money.

I asked in the post “What are the consequences of doing nothing?”

Whitney: The black blogosphere can still be used to rebuild the ?black civic infrastructure? but it will be done at the margins, without the full force of the power of the blogosphere.

Dayna Cunningham stated “The majority of whites did not support Obama.”

Whitney: There was a period between election day 11/4/08 and inauguration day 1/20/09 in which there was less white hostility and an increase in his approval ratings, up to 65% from his electoral percentage of 53% (I don?t have a racial breakdown for the Jan 09 number). The majority of whites did not vote for Obama but there was an increase of white support before the inauguration. During this time, there was a rise in the incessant post-racial talk and hope for working together to improve the country. All of which disappeared shortly after inauguration and we got the rise of the corporate funded, ?grassroots? Tea Party.

I comment on how Dayna Cunningham is “asking how marginalized folks can use the internet to speak back to the majority.”

Whitney: I?d argue that marginalized individuals weren?t a large part of the Obama for America online network and that within the limiting framework of Obama for America there isn?t space to push for an agenda that is different from the president?s, be it an agenda that is more progressive on issues that are being addressed or an agenda that addresses issues that are missing from the national discourse.

Response/Additions to what can you do?

Whitney: 1+2. Go to a city council meeting and/or a school board meeting. They usually post the agendas online before the meeting so you’ll know what will be discussed. If there’s an open comment section, sign up so you can add your thoughts/opinions.