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#therisktakers #vulnerableyfearless

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Janelle Monae Tight Rope

For T.dot. There is nothing wrong with being at check ball with your lady friend, every point is a point of motion, depending on how we look at it.

The funny thing about asking for what you want is that just might
get it.

I wrote last week about Slow Dynamite just kinda running into me, so we decided to catch a flick. Ok. Cool.

THEN. The evening arrives, I show up, Black girl fresh,
green tights, orange blazer etc. Plus I had had an awesome day.

I went to a work shop on “how to write an excellent literature review” and the professor, this inspiring woman from Michigan, kept saying
that grad school writing is hard, you rarely get compliments, you always get critiqued, that is just how it is.

She also said, as grad students we must take risks because the worst thing a professor can do is tell you to start over. That resonated with me. I don’t mind taking risks, however what has been hard is controlling the outcome. Being told to start over. Lols.

Why did I feel like she was all up in >.< here.
I felt like she validated my experience and I WISH I heard from
her in September rather than March. However I am glad have heard her at all, she validated my experience with learning how to have my worked critiqued by people.

So SD and I meet up and I am on time and happy about this, #blackgirlsarefromthefuture so we MUST be on time, duh, or look tacky.

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I was silent.

We walked.

He asked me if I had a response. (Like woman please, you asked for a plan, I gave you one, wassup?)

I was just taking a moment to take it all in. And appreciate the fact
that I asked for a plan, got one, and now I need to make up my Libra Loving mind.

So I said YES! Yes, with reflection prior, instead of the instant
yes, is awesome.

I am glad I did because something shifted in me the next day. I feel less pressed and I am comfortable in that in between, liminal space. I now move with the explicit awareness that there is a project and a person there, and right now is cultivation time, so that I can get right and seize the opportunity when it arises. I have let go of the outcome. Do you know how awesome that is?

Of course given his level of consideration, I had to plan something for him so I sent a text like, um, home cooked meal my house 6? You interested? Black girls are big on reciprocity.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd. Bacon grits has made his feelings known and I am like “Word boo? You know I a handful.” His response, “thats why God blessed me with my fathers hands.” Word? word? So I am looking at building an itinerary for that weekend. Its kinda fun. I was an admin for several executives at one time, so its returning back to my roots to plan out, by the hour, a couple of days. Its a really good skill set to have, in fact.

You know I am good for puttering around a city with someone. #allcityneens. The goal is to read as much as possible prior so that I am not looking like stuck Black girl in class. The good news about having midterms though, is once they are over, which is today, my schedule will go back to semi normal at least for the next few weeks. Awesome!

I have figured out how to #beherenow and #inthefuture. Who knew that I would have to go through all of this to get there? Seeing the Window Seat video on Saturday has only further validated my feelings. The risk takers = #somuchwin. People who take risks influence others, and that my dear, can change the world.

Openly Loving Women is Prolly Radical….

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Yesterday I tweeted a thought, and apparently I touched a cord.

I was so moved by the reaction that I did a screen shot to preserve this history.

The quote is:
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Openly Loving women, in a society premised on oppressing women,

is prolly one of the most radical thing you can do.

Agreed?

No?

Beyond/With Precious: Black Women, Incest and Rape

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Last fall, in an email thread about Precious, Ma’ia stated that people were so concerned with the Precious the character, she asked, where was the conversation about the Black women who had been raped?

I responded by saying that I would conduct a conversation here on my blog, to provide a space for such a conversation, because I was one of those writers focused on “Precious” the character.

Dedication: Anita, this is for you, and your willingness to reach out earlier today and ask for help around healing from being raped. Often times the first step is the most difficult and most important one. I Love You, toes to napps.

Beyond/With Precious: Black Women, Incest and Rape, Part 1/3

An Interview with Moya Bailey

Moving beyond Precious, what does having a conversation about Black women who have been raped, look like?

It looks intentional with tissue and breaks and food and breaks and music. I think its storytelling and i think its long and doesn’t happen one day it happens a lot and folks should make more time for it. It also looks like shifting the notion that rape is the worse thing that can happen to a woman. there are “worse” things, and those we survive too sometimes.

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Did your momma, daddy, grand parent or aunty? talk to you about the danger of being raped?
No. my parents took the approach of monitoring me 24 hours a day 7 days a week and were successful in keeping this from happening. The screening process to be my baby sitter had multiple parts, references and college degree required. That said, I don’t know how my parents would have reacted if something had happened to me with all the effort they put in to something not happening to me. I remember being on the playground when I was in kindergarten and a white male teacher talking to me and a few friends in the corner of the playground. He was standing over us and my dad had just come to pick me up. My father was livid! At the time I understood him to be angry at me. He said something to the principal of the school. I’m not sure what happened after that. It wasn’t until I was grown that I understood what that was about.

Recently though my mom, in trying to understand my queer identity, wonders if something had happened to me when I was younger, if it was abuse or violation that made me this way. I assured her that was not the case but the idea that child sexual abuse results in queerness is still prevalent.

To what extent does Black women’s tendency to put their families and their communities ahead themselves? play a role in their willingness to be frank about rape and incest?
Well I want to question to what extent are we frank about rape and incest? I think part of the problem of black women’s tendency to put family and community ahead of themselves keeps black woman from sharing things. I know of more than one story of black women waiting until their parents die to talk about incest and abuse in their homes, black women being pressured not to out men as rapists because they “do good work” in their communities etc. I’d like to follow Alexis’ lead and reference Aishah Simmon’s documentary NO! which discusses very candidly the way survivors are coerced into silence to protect the image of black man in these communities.

What kind of support do we need to be honest about being raped?
One thing we need is for community members to believe survivors and stop trying to absolve their attackers. Energy should be direct to and for the survivors and towards getting the? attacker help that still hold them accountable for the violation. I do think that this is a systemic problem that also has to do with changing how we respond as a culture.
What are the ways in which our history as enslaved women, have played a role in our unwillingness to be honest about being raped?
I think we learned that our bodies aren’t valuable.? We learned that our bodies are most often a means to someone else’s ends. As Jacqui Alexander will say, that history lives in our cells.

What can we give the Precious’s of the world?
this is a huge question. I think we have to behave in ways to help folks see humanity beyond the scope of their own experiences. We need to call out the ways in which structural violence impacts the lives of women of color. I don’t know how folks can talk about incest without talking about patriarchy and how capitalism makes us see children as property. The structural piece so often gets knocked out to make individual people like Precious’ Mom or Antoinette Davis monsters, grotesque others who are inherently evil as opposed to people who are produced by the society that we help to co-create every time we put money over people.
What are some organizations that may be helpful?
What is some literature that may be helpful?

Bluest Eye
Women of Brewster Place
Bailey’s Cafe
Temple of My Familiar

Do you all have thoughts? Feed Back?

Brang it!

Abstract- Help.

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I want to look at crack in East Oakland. But my prof says that if I look for crack, I will find crack. So I tried to broaden it to violence, as there were 130 murders in Oakland that year. The most in 18 years, at that point.

Abstract

According to Oakland Police Department statistics, in 1986 there were one hundred and thirty murders in Oakland, California, the highest in eighteen years, which can be said to be correlated with the rise of the crack drug trade. Many of these murders occurred in East Oakland. This interdisciplinary project will explore the ways in which the residents in the East Oakland, California neighborhoods within the 94603 area code made sense of the possible political, economic, social, and environmental changes that occurred in their respective neighborhoods during this year.
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What do you think?

I am still feeling my way here, and I have? a better idea about the project today then I did two days ago. It was really useful to realize that it would be interdisciplinary.

Erykah x Pedestrian White Art

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Main Entry: 1pe?des?tri?an

Pronunciation: \p?-?des-tr?-?n\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin pedestr-, pedester, literally, going on foot, from ped-, pes foot ? more at foot
Date: 1716

1 : commonplace, unimaginative

Doesn’t the Erykah Video render the above images pedestrian and really White?

I am saying.

This afternoon, I was looking for a link to Turn Me Away? and I was struck by how UNINTERESTING the above images are in comparison to her video.

Agreed?

No, I’m crazy? Luls.