2009

Spread Love its the Brooklyn Way

January 28, 2009 by Renina

Streets to Suites is a film directed by Marquette Jones,
a dear friend of mine. The first thing that I noticed when
watching this short is that I felt that sense of anticipation
that typically occurs when I reading a good short story.

I love that “what is going to happen next” feeling.

She is currently working on her first feature titled,
“Round on Both Sides.” I look forward to seeing
it as well (hint, throat scratch, hint.)

Jonzey is big on subtext and it shows.
The film has the feel of a music video, but an eye for the small
details that make up everyday life.

In watching this I am reminded to how little we hear
of Black men, who grind everyday in our communities.

Salute.

The above video Castaway Voters: Felons in Virgina
is by another friend of mine, Garland McLaurin,
who is a filmmaker as well. He currently produces short news
documentaries for American News Project. I was particularly
moved by this piece because of my interest in voter
disenfranchisement, and the right for felons to vote. I was also
great to hear directly from black men, “I want to be a part of society”,
that’s real talk.

Here are some more videos from Garland.
On the Road to the Inauguration
Eviction Day: Foreclosure Crisis.
Lincoln and Race

You watch anything good lately?
Any thoughts on the two videos?
What will it take to get a good distribution model
for GOOD BLACK CONTENT?

Barack Obama and Shirley Chisholm

January 23, 2009 by Renina

On the evening of November 5th in Brooklyn, you would have thought
that Juneteenth and the Fourth of July had occurred. Cars were
honking bars were full, White Folks, Black Folks and Asian folks
were happy that their candidate won. D-boys that I had never seen
on my block, who hustle behind closed doors had their big red cups
out. They were elated that a Black president had been elected.

I felt a little bit different, as I spent the evening reading Paula Giddings
phenomenal book “When and Where I Enter.”

Tracey Rose told me that, in Bed-Stuy a young Black man told her that he
felt that he could do anything. She also mentioned how older Black
women were reaching out to her and simply being more expressive
and emotionally available. I didn’t think of anything of it at the time
because I connect with people all the time when I am out and about.
I make it a point to.

However, when I thought of others, instead of focusing on myself,
I realized how important the collective mood can be when we are
focusing on the positive or for that matter, on the negative.

I have been reluctant to write about Obama’s election largely because
I haven’t wanted to steal anyone’s joy.

However I realize that, as a writer and thinker, I am not doing anyone
any good but censoring myself.

The point that I am trying to get at is that I am skeptical about
“The Change“ and I am more concerned about “The Power.”
When I mention this to friends and colleagues, the responses range
from disagreement, to cynicism, to understanding.

I get the feeling that people, some middle class Black folks that I know
are more interested in doing some good, you know Wu Tang is for
the kids and all, but ultimatly they want to get closer to “The Power“
themselves.

I am not so concerned with President Obama’s ability to govern, as I think
he will be as clear thinking leader of the free world in as much as we have
had previous leaders of the free world.

My issue is with our unwillingness to ask the hard questions of ourselves,
about the Economy, about Healthcare, about Education and how we
treat every day human beings based on “The Power” and “The Change.”

I mean, look at the consumption spurred by the campaign. We really
appear to be a people who think that we can buy our way to social justice. I wonder
if the discipline that is required to be the change and to analyze “The Power”
is within us. The next time you read the news paper and you see an article
on the economy, ask yourself whose interests are being served by
whatever topic is being discussed, ask yourself why its being discussed
at all. This is the way that I go about trying to analyze “The Power.”

Nationalizing Citibank? Bernie Maddoff is on house arrest?

I sometimes get the sense that in our desire to get rich or die trying we
are willing to overlook the way in which power works in our society
because of our sincerest hope that we may one day benefit from it.

Power is the ability to right a wrong and make yourself whole
after you have suffered a setback. Power is the ability to find another job
after you have been laid off. Power is the ability appeal and win a
dismissal from your University, Power is the ability to make the same
amount of money that your colleague of a different gender or race
earns for the same job, Power is the ability to tell the police that
they WILL NOT search you on your own block.
Power is the ability for a Black mother to keep her son from
being put in Special Ed in the first grade.

On November 5th, as I sat reading “When and Where I Enter”, I was
reminded of several things, one was the history of the law
as it pertains to human beings and the other Shirly Chisholm’s campaign
and the Black male response to her campaign.

In 1972, Chisholm became the first major-party black candidate for President
of the United States and the first woman to run for the Democratic
presidential nomination.

“When and Where I Enter” sets forth the argument that the first
African Americans who arrived here were indentured servants,
not chattel slaves. Meaning that that their enslavement was NOT
based on their race. It was purely based on labor needs.

It wasn’t until the slave owners and the law makers decided that
they needed to make as much as possible from the labor of Black
and white indentured servants that that race based
slavery arose. The laws changed to reflect this need. Think
about it, in a Patriarchal society, the identity of the child
is tied to his or her father. This is why we take on the fathers
last name, for heir reasons. The law changed so that the mothers
status dictacted the status of the child. An Enslaved mother and a Free
or Enslave father created an enslaved child. This is the way that
the law changed to reflect the new needs.

White women were sold into slavery as well for having sexual
relations, or having children with Black men. By carrying out this operation in a successful manner this drug effectively degrades the chances of the victim from turning in to a cardiac cripple by helping him with the corrective measures to prevent the blood clotting. generic cialis The 100mg sildenafil generic pill was more cheap viagra on line affordable than the prescription drugs. free sample viagra Apcalis is one such oral pill remedies. In a general way a man experience 3 to 4 erections during their sleep which generico levitra on line may lasts an hour or more. It’s deep.

With regard to Chisholm, Black male politicians responded
to her decision to run for for president with cynicism and benign
hatred. Giddings writes,

Chisolm’s candidacy would suffer even more at the hands of
Black leaders, who by the early seventies were almost exclusively
men. Black politicos explored several options in 1972. On was to run
favorite sons in several states; another was to throw support behind
McGovern; and a third to support a single Black candidate. None, however,
it seemed to include Shirley Chisholm. She became vividly aware of this
after hearing the results of a Black strategy meeting that took place
outside of Chicago which included Julian Bond, Imamu Amiri Baraka,
Percy Sutton, Richard Hatcher, Jesse Jackson, Roy Innis, Willie Brown,
Basil Patterson and Clarence Mitchell III.

What was really bothering the Black males at the meeting was…more directly
hinted at by a Washington Post reporter (anonymously): “In this first serious
effort of Blacks for high politcal office, it would be better if it were a man.”

“From the beginning….her campaign was plagued- by charges that
she was captive of the women’s movement. In 1972 association with an
organization like NOW was enough to dampen the kind of Black grass
roots enthusiasm needed to transcend the other obstacles in her campaign.”

In Black Macho and the Myth of the Super Woman, Michelle Wallace
goes on to describe the ways in which Black male politicians viewed
Shirley Chisolms presidential candidacy in 1972. Wallace writes,

Around the time that Shirley Chisholm was running for President in 1972,
Redd Foxx….made a joke about her. He said that he would prefer Raquel
Welch to Shirley Chisholm any day. The joke was widely publicized in the
Black community, and thought quite funny. There was something about
it that made black men pay attention to it and savor it.

Every since then it really baffled me to hear black men say that
black women had no time for feminism because being black came first.
For them, when it came to Shirley Chisholm, being black no longer came first
at all. It turned out what they really meant all along was that the black man
came before the black woman. And not only did he come before her, he came before her to her own detriment. The proof is that, as Shirley Chisholm
announced her intention to run, black men pulled out their big guns and aimed
them at her. They made every attempt to humiliate her, not only as a politcal
being but also as a sexual being.

That Aunt Ester and Chisholm have a resemblance isn’t
lost on me. The fact that Red Foxx both insulted
Aunt Ester on the regular and made a joke about Chisholm as
well isn’t lost on me either.

That being said, given the way Black male politicians responded
to Chisholm, and the history of how the laws have been used to structure
society to ensure that labor needs have been met and to keep those who have
The Power with The Power, I wasn’t surprised by the passage of Prop 8.

If a country can simultaneously enslave millions of African people, while
it stages a fight against it’s own oppression (ie. The American Revolution),
then why was it so inconceivable that Californians could vote against gay
marriage and for a Black president?

The Change or The Power?
Any Thoughts?

Now I’m Realizing that I Love Her

January 21, 2009 by Renina

I got the call on Christmas Eve. “Ne, I made a mistake.”

It was Filthy.

I listened, and we decided to link up in mid January.

So, he came to a meeting that I spoke at this past Saturday.
I was nervous and vulnerable. But, I felt fearless and good.
The speech went well.

He then broke the news. he was ready to commit. Ready
to think about the future, a long term future.

I was guarded but excited.

Then the other shoe dropped.

He had lied to me y’all.

2 lies.

In December, he pursued the woman he had a borderless
relationship with, they mashed, and to top it off, they kicked it
on New Years Eve.

When I learned this, I started looking for sharp objects.

This made me look at the decision to commit in a whole other light.

At first, when he mentioned that he wanted to commit,
I would have been satisfied with a change in his facebook
status and taking a trip to somewhere sunny this winter
and perhaps meeting some parents. But this shit was record
scratch where my gat, get out my face because my “cut you
if you still, shoot you if you running” Texas roots are about to come out.

Two lies.

One was that I told that when he was in BK last December, and I asked him
where he stayed, his response was, with my boy T’s friend.

I just learned, that it was with her.

GRIMEY.

He was suppose to go to Philly for New Years.
That was a lie. He spent it with her.

All I could think of was Gotty saying, I told you so. You see,
when the relationship ended after Thanksgiving, I called Gotty.

M.dot: Aye blood, your boy is done.
Gotty: Really. What happen.
M.dot: This other jawn, his homie came at him, made her feelings
known, put LOVE on it, and he shook. She cut herself OUT of his life,
and now he claims he is grieving her, but now can’t do it.
Gotty: Man, he is trying to pop at her right now, trust me, I know this,
I been there.
M.dot: I am not so sure. He kinda jacked up.
Gotty: Alright, don’t listen to me. M.dot: Imma listen to you, it just doesn’t make sense.
Gotty: It don’t have to. Take care of your self mayne.

So, to get this information now, I am hella stuck.

It’s God’s now.

Ironically, I asked God to take him out my life, and only bring
him back (or for that matter anyone into my life) when he was
ready. I asked to only have people in my life who have the
courage and the will to love or the will to build
the capacity to do so. Now that it has happened, I am having a
hard to with the process. God is funny.

I have been thinking about something one of my married homies
said to me. He basically mentioned that in his experience,
men ask themselves whether they are ready, and if they are they proceed
and they aren’t they keep it moving. It had nothing to do with me.

Filthy is apparently at a point where he has had the serious commitment
conversation with himself and decided to proceed, but for me its
foul how it happened.

My girl has told me that I am focusing on the negative. That a
man’s and or person’s willingness to learn how to put another’s feelings
ahead of his own is a time to be celebrated
especially because he or she is probably going to need some help. She has
a point, but I got ice chips in my heart man.

His contention is that he had to go through what he went through
to get to the point he is at now. There can be problems of erectile dysfunction and, not confusing cause tadalafil professional cheap and effect here, there can be depression. So if you want to get pregnant for more than 12 months should seek medical levitra generika 40mg investigation and assistance in the matter. And in today’s post I am going to share the factors which will help you to get normal erection cipla india viagra in no time. discount tadalafil High Cholesterol has a negative effect on the development of male sexual features. And the outcome is what matters.
I hear it, but I still give that shit the side eye. Ice chips melt, right?

I also look at it like this.
He is a good man. He challenges me. Is gentle. Is encouraging.
He my friend.

But he is also Bleek. Not Memph, who I have always had a
crush on since forever. But Bleek, Bleek Gilliam. I don’t do Bleek.
I realized that Filthy was Bleek last August when I learned of the four
boxes of W.E.B Dubois books, amongst the 12 boxes of books.
In my mind, I might as well had been dating DJ. CRACK ERA FAIL.

Given all this. Peep the nitty gritty.

It’s incredible, because there have been
some serious conversations had about the future, about
residences being changed, five, ten and twenty year plans.

I have learned a lot about my shortcomings as well. I have
learned that I have a hard time asking for what I need and I
can sometimes play the victim in order to avoid taking action.
Ouch. Admitting it is the first step to changing it. Right? Right.

I also understand that relationship gray areas exists. In the past,
once, I have carried a torch for another person. This torch
impacted my ability to really connect and be with the person
that I was with at the time.

But then again.

I was 20 years old then. And we ARE not 20 years old anymore.
I have also done my fair share of scandalous. BUT. I have been honest.

I have a code.

Right now, I face the risk of walking away from the love that was
meant to be or staying with a person that made a mistake but also
understands that this is the chance to show that he can make good
on his word, and for him to take the opportunity to make tangible efforts to
continue to make good on his word.

He is trying. He is trying to do something he has never done before,
he is trying to step out on faith and live the life of Bleek after he can no
longer play the trumpet. At this point I can just sit back and watch
how it unfolds.

The ante has been upped.

I gave it to God.

How to Be in Pain and Not Fall Apart is in full effect.

Mercury is in Retrograde and I Feel It

January 14, 2009 by Renina

I spoke with my brother yesterday and he mentioned to me two different
instances where people in our family, our uncle and his mother in law,
indicated that they were either scared of him or felt that he had an
attitude. I was pleased that he felt close enough to me to share, but I
felt helpless with regard to what to do or say, so I simply asked him
how he felt? His response, “I don’t know.”

Here is the story. He went to pick up the kids, my niece and
nephew, from their maternal grandmothers house, and he
was his normal moody Gemini self. Before he went to go get
the kids, he and his wife had an argument.
He said thank you and good bye to their grandmomma but he
was short and to the point. Based on my experience with
grandmothers, they like to chat.

On top of that, he was a street dude, and he is quiet. This combination
can make people uncomfortable. (Believe it or not, I can be quiet too, lol.)
My response was, “Aye, blood, I know you have made changes in
your life, but you were a street dude since ’89, so that part of you
probably comes out when your mad at people and it
probably intimidates them.”

He laughed, at the street dude comment. Pheew. Tension, diffused!

I asked him if he considered just hanging out or talking directly to
his mother in law when he didn’t need something, just so that she
could get to know him better. He said he would think about it but
that they “don’t be picking up their phone.” Which is true. I conceded
that it is hard to connect with folks, and when they don’t reach back
it can be type difficult. I also said that she is his mother in law and that
that name and title exists for a reason.

Mercury is in retrograde.

My brother then goes on to tell me about hanging
out at a bar owned by an old friend of ours near Grand Lake. He
commences to telling me how he almost had to “do something”
do a gay dude who kept walking in and out of the spot. You are advised to include oysters, viagra no prescription fast check out this pharmacy store spinach, eggs, watermelon, cashews, almonds, banana, garlic and pumpkin seeds in your daily diet. cheap generic levitra It causes the symptoms of indigestion such as gas, fullness, heartburn, nausea, diarrhea or constipation and minor abdominal pain or discomfort with alterations in bowel habits. A Barclays spokesman said yesterday: “We do not comment on analyst notes.” Mr Diamond will be asked to undertake a levitra viagra cialis course of drugs in cases such as diabetes or multiple sclerosis. At the same time, http://downtownsault.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/06-14-17-DDA-MINUTES.pdf levitra generika the elderly should consult their doctor before starting or altering dosage amount. I responded,
“why do you need to do something to someone just because he is
gay and looking at you?” I continued, “Men and women say shit to
me all the time, but I don’t flip out on them. In fact it happens to
most women starting at around 13.”

He wasn’t convinced.

His response, tight lipped, through clinched teeth is “If that persons
orientation is different than yours, than that’s out of pocket.”
I had to tread lightly, because he is familiar with my gender
politics but also is steadfast in his own, and doesn’t mind arguing.
So I say, “Well, someone harassing me is just that, someone
harassing me, sexual orientation doesn’t make it more right or
more wrong, and it doesn’t merit me being violent. Where is the
tolerance in wanting to do something to him?”

He hesitated, which is what I was looking for.

I also said that one of the reasons why I engaged with him in these
conversations is because I know that my nephew is learning
how to be a man from him, so the things I say could impact my
little round-eyed, chubby-cheeked nephew.

He gave me a flat, “ummm hmmmp.”

Mercury is in retrograde.

Only after reflecting on the conversation did I realize that my
brother could stand to be on the receiving end of some
tolerance from our Uncle and his mother in law, and that he
could also stand to be more tolerant of the gay men that he
encounters.

Its hard to shake that Oakland Rage.

Last night, I was in the Barnes on Court Street chatting with
a cat who does music in both NY and Philly, he thought
he knew me from somewhere. One of The Last Poets strolls
up and starts talking to us about everything from Obama, to
Black Nationalism, Gaza & Israel.

It was nice. Often times I feel like an old head when dialoging
with young bucks so it was great to be on the other end of
the spectrum.

Let’s be clear. I did not agree with everything the man said,
but he is my elder, so I had to listen respectfully. Then the
scratch moment happened, where he said that he agreed with
Jesse Jackson when Jesse said that he wanted to “Cut Obama’s
nuts off.”

I was like, hold up, my heart started speaking before my mind
could stop me, “You mean to tell me, given the history of
lynching and castration of Black men by whites in this
country, you could cosign on an African American man,
talking about castrating another African American man
who is a presidential candidate?”

He responded, “Yes, its different. “

I then asked , “Where is the tolerance in that line of thought?”
He responded, maintaining that it was different.

I was done, I said what I said to say.

It was interesting because I held my tongue, until it became clear
that it simply wasn’t just for me to do so anymore. Writing about it
after the fact comes easy, but at the moment it was tight hard because
I didn’t know how he was going to respond.

All I know, is that it has been three days in, and I have been
the bearer of tolerance. Yikes.

Mercury out of Retrograde on 1/31. Countdown.

You show tolerance towards anyone lately?

The Curse of Being a Black Artist

January 13, 2009 by Renina

Ice Cube helped me in ’92

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I think I have fallen in love with Camus (a dead white Algerian
philosopher who argues that the death penalty is premeditated
murder) and Anthony Hamilton simultaneously.

What does this have to do with being an artist? Everything,
simply because over the last few days I have been apart of
a few conversations on the tension between art and commerce.

Two days ago, on Twitter, Indieplanet and I were having a discussion
about art, commerce, Joe Budden/Vlad flap up.

indieplanet @mdotwrites Its a bigger issue of basic ethics.
Too many blogs/video sites decide at some point to exchange
ethics for page views. 10:06 AM Jan 11th from web in reply to
mdotwrites

indieplanet @mdotwrites Re: Budden/Vlad – What are your
thoughts on the whole situation. I think its a bigger picture that
video sites should consider. 11:51 PM Jan 10th from web
in reply to mdotwrites

indieplanet @mdotwrites Shouldnt it be possible to make a
contribution AND get paid?? It is possible (not common)
to change the game & have morals 12:17 PM Jan 11th from web
in reply to mdotwrites

@indieplanet Its like running with the Dope man. Sooner or
later, someone is going to test you, and you are going to have
to choose. 12:23 PM Jan 11th from web in reply to indieplanet

Yesterday, Dart Adam’s sent me a link to an essay of his which outlined,
amongst many things, how the The Telecommunication’s Act
spearheaded mergers and acquisitions in radio and how these
changes impacted hip hop.

To cap it off, yesterday, Brooklyn Bodega posted a Facebook note asking
“Does Money Ruin it All?” He wrote,

the other day one of our family posted a comment that he was no fan of ‘Notorious’ because too many people had profited from its production. He cited Memebrs of Junior Mafia, Puff and I assume he also had a problem with Ms. Wallace as she looks to have been in charge and arguably received the largest check.

So the question is does the presence of money make it impossible to produce a work of pure artistic integrity?

The responses ranged from, “as long as the Wallace family is
compensated then it is all good” to “making money is practical
for everyone including artists”, and finally “this is a less of an
issue of the evils of capitalism and rather a question of authenticity.”

Many of the comments reflect a fundamental lack of understanding of
capitalism and both how it has historically impacted art and how it impacts
hip hop and Black artists specifically. Because capital is productive
property, there will always be a move to exploit the the property to
obtain the most returns.

This is why we have 5 CSI’s, 6 Indiana Jones’s and Hannah Montana
dish towels.

Quality be damned.

Think about it, art is referred to as intellectual property for a reason.

And here is where the tension arises. If our music, our precious
Hip Hop music began as a voice for the under represented, what does it mean
for us to be so silent about its current state of affairs? And, if we are
silent, do we deserve better than what we receive? Why are we
so reluctant to admit the way in which the market has impacted our art?

I have watched both Saul Williams and KRS rationalize getting
money with Fortune 500’s. And I thought to myself why
be coy, why not just say, “Ya’ll, I got bills to pay.”

Lets be clear, I do not claim to be on a pedestal. If Coke/Sony/Steve
Madden/ came calling and wanted to work with me and I chose to do so, I
wouldn’t turn around and say to you “Well the executives
at Coke/Sony/ like me, so this is a great partnership.” I would
understand that they want to rock with me because they feel that
I may be able to enhance their shareholder value. Simple as that.

So if you see my face and big {teeth} smile on the back of a Brooklyn
Erotica anthology at the end of the year, lets be clear, I had to pay
some bills and I am okay with that.

I guess, I am really perturbed at the fact that we all clearly understand
the nasty bottom line of the Dope game, but when it comes to
analyzing the ways in which the nasty bottom line of Capitalism
affects our art we get shook.

Statement was very similar to another statement that I read by
Camus (pronounced Cam-moo, like shampoo.) In the essay
The Wager of our Generation, Camus writes,

The aim of art, the aim of life, can only be to increase the sum
of freedom and responsibility to be found in everyman and the world.
It cannot, under any circumstances be used to reduce or suppress that
freedom, even temporarily….

No great work of art has been based on hatred or contempt. There is
not a single true work of art of art that has not in the end addressed the
inner freedom of each person that has known and loved it.

In an interview on Verbalisms, ran by the phenomenal and formidable
(wink) Raquel Wilson, Dan Tres OMi interviews Wise Intelligent of PRT
on the role that art and music plays in our culture. He writes,

There are quite a few people who feel that music that is created to raise the consciousness of a particular community is irrelevant in the age of what William C. Bansfield calls the post-album age wherein the music created is commercially driven and marketed to a specific segment of society. Wise Intelligent, the front man for the influential hip-hop group Poor Righteous Teacher, always felt and continues to feel that he was galvanized by the spirit of the people to take up the mic to educate the masses. It is a tragedy that Wise Intelligent, who penned one of the best odes to Black women with ?Shakyla,? is forgotten when it comes to bringing knowledge of self beat up and compressed into hip-hop form.

Where does Anthony Hamilton fit in? His album is the first one in
a very long time, that both instrumentation wise and lyrically, has
helped me make sense of my life. He has helped me be okay with
my new found freedom. The irony is that it isn’t Hip Hop,
and because am notoriously boom bap oriented and it feels weird.
I will add that Q-Tips The Renaissance has been in rotation as well.

Anthony Hamilton also comes into play because the title of his
album connects to an essential question asked by Camus, which
is what is the point of life? While I do not have an answer to that, I
have been thinking about the roll that music plays in affirming who we are.

In 1992, I had Death Certificate to make sense of what was going on
in LA, in the Streets of Oakland and in my family life. What music do
the young bucks of today have to help them make sense of their lives?

What music do they have to help them make sense of the rage that they
feel about the murder of Oscar Grant?