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Attack of the Borderless Relationships

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Borderless relationships are dangerous because there is
only a matter of time before a border is crossed and the entire
spot gets blown. This past weekend, I fell back from Filthy.
He decided to take the time to deal with the impact of a
borderless relationship with a lady friend that preceded me.

When we take part of borderless relationships we do so out of a fear
of being rejected. Think about it, if you don’t have boundaries, you don’t
have to worry about losing the person, or about being accountable
to a relationship. The upside of Borderless Relationships is that
they operate in that zone of the mushy middle. The down side
is that when it goes all bad, it has a tendency to be nuclear.

On Thursday Filthy told me he wanted to limit contact this
weekend, so that he could, pray, fast, reflect and I responded
saying that I understood. We also decided to put some plans
to take a trip on hold. I did understand, but I also missed my
friend. The notion of putting the trip plans on pause lighweight
scared me, as he had been talking about it for a few weeks.
But I took the highroad and agreed to play it by ear.

On top of that my road dog is in Chicago networking at a conference,
so I took it upon myself to go to a cafe and work on sketching the
100 Visionaries website.

Last night, I walked into a cafe, set my stuff down and I hear a
man clear his throat, yet I say nothing, but my mind registers
that it sounds familiar. I proceed to pay for my tea, and as I
look for the honey, I felt eyes on me.

I turn and look and it is The Graduate, sitting there, with a pretty Black
lady. He is smiling and staring.

I return the gaze. I don’t blink.

I thought to myself, God has an amazing sense of humor.

I haven’t seen The Graduate since May ’07. All I could think was, man,
you can’t write better scenes than these. In many ways, my relationship
with The Graduate was a borderless relationship. While I have spoken
to him recently about grad school, I deaded having contact
with him as a realized last year that he was interested in me,
but he wasn’t interested in doing the work to be with me.
This of course is the recipe for the Borderless Relationship Syndrome.

The chickens came home to roost, kick it and freestyle last night.

I grabbed my tea. I spoke to him and walk and set my stuff down. He
mentions something about not receiving a hug, and I call him an “ass”.
I give him a hug, speak and I introduce myself to his lady friend.

Then she says, “You must know him pretty well to call him an ass”.

I smiled.

He responds saying, “What, I didn’t hear her call me that”.

I responded playing it off- with, “Hey, Lisa, ladies gotta stick together,
moi, I said nothing of the sort “, and we all laughed.

Her statement was clever. She didn’t know who I was, and she was letting
me and him know that she didn’t know.

I spoke to young Filth about the run in and he responded, of course, saying,
“How you feel?” At the moment I was grateful that I was humble
enough to bring it up and for the fact that we have a friendship
where we can talk about ish like this. He responded saying, I been there
before, and it ain’t pretty. We laughed.

This was a lot to deal with in one night. It many ways it goes to show
you how God tests you and provides challenges when you least expect them.

Been in any borderless relationships recently?

How do you deal with them?

Did it blow up?

I’d Rather Be Poor and White than Rich and Black: McCain and the White Vote

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Obama is a Hooligan, Terrorist and a Socialist?

Greg Sargent at Talking Points Memo has an interesting piece
up on how McCain is fanning the flames of anger and rage on
the campaign trail. He writes,

Look, it’s easy to dismiss the guy at this rally as a crank. But the larger context here is important. The McCain campaign — with public statements and ads suggesting Obama is linked to terrorists and many other tactics — is very deliberately trying to whip up mass fear and loathing about the prospect of an Obama presidency.

When they stood up and started I was lightweight reminded of a
lynchmob. Before you dismiss me consider this. Black men were
lynched under the auspices of protecting the sexual well being
of the southern bell, however there was an more stealth agenda
operating as well. Black men were also lynched as an act of voter
suppression and as an act of economic oppression. According to
Wikipedia,

There were often three motives for lynchings in the United States. The first was the social aspect: punishing some social wrong or perceived social wrong (such as a violation of Jim Crow) to restore social order.

Another motive was the economic aspect. For example, upon successful lynching of an African American farmer or immigrant merchant, the land would be available and the market opened for white Americans. In much of the Deep South lynchings peaked in the late 19th century, as whites turned to terrorism to dissuade blacks from voting and to enforce Jim Crow laws. In the Mississippi Delta lynchings of blacks increased in the early 20th century as white planters tried to enforce control of labor when more blacks became sharecroppers and laborers.

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Journalist and anti-lynching crusader Ida B. Wells wrote in the 1890s that black lynching victims were accused of rape or attempted rape only about one-third of the time. The most prevalent accusation was murder or attempted murder, followed by a list of infractions that included verbal and physical aggression, spirited business competition and independence of mind. White lynch mobs formed to restore the perceived social order.[3]

How can working class whites identify with affluent whites over
other working class Black folks, Latino folks and Asian folks?

It goes back to our history. Irish indentured servants chose
to identify with the affluent white owner class, rather than the Black
folks they were working alongside. Many white folks choose to
identify with whiteness over class then, and many are choosing
whiteness over class now. It is important to note that many or not,
which gives us Obama’s multiracial, multiclass coalition.

This choice is why some working class whites can blame the
loss of their factory jobs on Affirmative Action, not on the fact
that Clinton’s NAFTA gave companies an incentive to move
their jobs to China, Mexico and India.
With the union jobs that have historically created the American middle
class are in China, we are a nation full of service workers (employed
at restaurants and retail jobs as opposed to factories that make
things) earning low wages, and little to no health insurance and
very little job security. Blame Affirmative Action?

Simply, whiteness is a currency. The fact that some white folks choose
race over class is indicative of this. Remember when Chris Rock said,
I love Black people, but I can’t stand N-ggas”. There is something
very similar operating here. Didn’t Chris stop performing
that joke because white folks were laughing too hard?

Truth hurts.

$125K to Teach Future Highschool Dropouts

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Only 32 percent of Black men graduated from New York City public schools
on schedule in 2006.

Only when we decide that we are teaching young people, young urban people
with the sole intent of liberating them, will we have any success as educators.

Apparently, there is a school in New York that thinks that paying teachers
$125K per year will make substantial gain in transforming the lives of
future drop outs. Cristine Gralow writes in the New York Times,

The Equity Project Charter School (TEP) will open in September 2009 in Manhattan?s Washington Heights community, and it will aim to enroll middle school students at risk of academic failure. Students with the lowest test scores will be given admissions priority. In order to recruit the country?s top teachers to work with these at-risk students, the school?s founding principal will cut administrative costs and put a higher percentage of the school?s public funding into teacher salaries. He?s also seriously raising teacher qualifications, offering teachers a potential $25,000 bonus, and expanding the school day and work year for teachers. The principal will make $90,000. There will be no vice principal.

Only then will they become critical thinkers who feel that they can make a
contribution to society. In Living for Change, Grace Bogg’s
discuses what young people need in order to be engaged in school.
She writes,

Meanwhile, watching high school dropouts hanging around on our corners, as our communities deteriorated, I began to talk less about education to govern and more about creating a system of education to address the needs of these young people and of our communities at the same time. The whole functions of particular body parts depend viagra 25 mg on the signals provided by the brain. On other hand generic viagra online cheap manufacturers already incur lower costs in production. generika sildenafil 100mg It was not that these were the health benefits for which ancient doctors used the medicine. Discover the amazingly simple method that help you to best prices on viagra overcome all your sexual disorder. Instead of seeing our schools as institutions to advance individual careers, I argued we must start turning them into places to develop our children into responsible citizens- by convolving them in community building activities, such as planing community gardens, preparing school and community meals, building playgrounds, cleaning up our rivers and neighborhoods. In this way our children will learn through practice, which is the best way to learn.

Unless you are educating oppressed people with intention of liberating them
all efforts will be unsustainable. That is not so say that there will be no success,
what ever that may or may not mean, what I am saying is that paying more
isn’t scalable, and it isn’t sustainable.

In Pedagogy of the Oppressed, Paulo Friere gets to the heart of the matter
when he writes,

Education thus becomes an act of depositing, in which the students are the depositories and the teacher is the depositor. Instead of communicating, the teacher issues communiques and makes deposits which the students patiently receive, memorize and repeat. This is the “banking” concept of education, in which the scope of action allowed to the students extends only as far as receiving, filing and storing deposits.

It is not surprising the the banking concept of education regards men as adaptable manageable beings. The more students work at storing deposits entrust to them, the less they develop the critical consciousness from which would result from their intervention in the world as transformers of that world…The capability for the banking education to minimize or annul the students creative power to stimulate their credulity serves the interests of the oppressors, who care neither to have the world revealed nor see it transformed. The oppressors use their “humanitarianism” to preserve a profitable situation.

No pedagogy [way/method of teaching] which is truly liberating can remain distant from the oppressed by treating them as unfortunates and by presenting for their emulation models from among oppressors. the oppressed must be their own example in the struggle for their redemption.

While I think its commendable that the school wants to pay the teachers more,
teacher pay does not address the fact that a banking system of education
will only produce people who only survive, not people who are critical
thinkers who feel that they can make a contribution to society

Most urban public school’s aren’t anything but jails with training wheels.

I don’t believe you, you need more people.

Barack and Curtis: Byron Hurt’s New Film

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Chickenhead. Bitch. Ho. Gold Digger. Sapphire. Jezebel.
Trick. Auntie.

Apparently as a Black woman, I am everything and I am nothing.

Thug. Uncle Tom. Gangster. Sambo. Homo Thug. Dope Dealer.
Gang Member. Drop Out. Uncle. Sell Out. Uppity. Austin360.com is a very useful and entertaining website to know about the recent entertainment activities of Austin. cialis online The question is: Do the generics you send look exactly the same as brands? The answer is that they are providing the drug in forms of headache, depression, sleeping disorder, joint pain, constipation or indigestion. pfizer viagra online Get away from work or any source of stress and prevent post workout slumps on body. tadalafil tablets in india It is whole body acidity with the medical name for male menopause is levitra cheap online hypogonadism. Nigger.

Perhaps, Black men are everything and nothing as well.

Black gender myths operate similar to American racial myths,
interdependently. In this way you can’t have a Barack without 50,
and you can’t have a pimp without a trick, and you surely
can’t have Black without White. To take a step back, I am not
in any way saying that Barack and 50 are in any way similar to
a pimp and a trick. What I am saying is that in order for myths
to work they have to operate on binary, Black/White, A/B level.
Any attempt to seperate the two will leave you without a leg to
stand on, argument wise.

The notion of how Black masculinity is performed was on my
mind as I watched the trailer for Byron’s new film “Barack and Curtis”
which is set to be released this week on October 10th. I found
it interesting that their “swagger” was mentioned twice by two
different men. I also found it interesting that the white gentleman,
Kurt, wanted to talk about rappers in general but not 50 specifically.

Barack and Curtis operate within their on kind of binary. Curtis
has been shot umpteen times, has an impressive rags to riches
story and has appeared as hyper masculine as a human man
can get. Barack on the other has had his masculinity questioned
throughout the campaign. He has been called, soft, weak, and
presumably unfit to lead the free world.

Barack has had an interesting impact on influencing our willingness
to talk about how we map race onto a binary of Black or White.
Whenever I hear someone speaking about whether he should
be categorized as Black or White, all can I think is, whose interests
are being served by thinking about race that way?

Which brings me to race and the 2008 election. The fact that some
white folks are so cagey about speaking honestly about race is
indicative of how pervasive and deeply rooted race is in our
everyday lives. For instance, just today there was an article on
assessing how honest white voters have been about voting for
Obama and the impact that this may or many not have on the accuracy
of exit polls.

All of our myths, from mammies and jezebels to thugs and uncle toms
serve the function of keeping us trapped in neat tiny boxes of invisibility
and stereotypes. And don’t get me started on Soccer Moms, Wallmart Moms,
Nascar Dads, and Joe Six Pack. These myths

We are all interdependent, whether we like it or not, whether we acknowledge
it or not. Accepting our interdependence is the first step towards transformation.
Which brings me to the question, what stops us from accepting the fact
that we are our history?


VH1’s 100 Best Songs in Hip Hop: The Evolution of Black TV

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Two major things happened in Black television in the last week or so.
Rap City was canceled, TRL was canceled and VH1 presented the
100 best songs in Hip Hop.

All of these are interesting because they relate to hip hop. I remember
when I first learned that 106 and Park audience surpassed TRL’s about
7 years ago, and I thought to myself, hmm thats interesting. In fact, I think
Carson Daly had just left the show for Hollywood.

Recently, I read a quote in S. Craig Watkin’s book which said that black teenagers
in general and boys specifically occupy a very interesting place in the American
culture. On one level their presence is reviled, their bodies are policed (laws on
sagging pants) and they are systematically undereducated (only 35% of Black men
starting 9th grade in NYC graduate) yet their “cultural product’s” are in demand from Madison Avenue to Japan.

In watching the segment on NWA, I was reminded of how far from mainstream
hip hop was in the early days. I was particularly tickled when Kurt Lorder
of MTV asked Ice Cube a question about the educational system and he
responded “We ain’t activist, we give social commentary, we like the news”.
I find that this sentiment squares nicely with my my post last week, titled,
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none of them were making money except Eazy E and Jerry Heller.

Here NWA was, making their social commentary and not getting paid. I am
almost willing, let me repeat, almost, willing to go out on an ledge and say
that there was something pure about their music, at that time.

They had no radio play, they sold millions of albums, the free speech
folks rallied behind them, and they were not motivated by the money
because they (the majority of them) were not making any money.

The marginalization of early hip hop and its subsequent popularity
reminds me of how easy it is to go from being shunned by capitalism
to being used by it. In many ways Black men are like Detroit, when
capitalism no longer needs you, you will be left to figure out what
to do with yourself.

It happened to The Chinese, The Japanese, Black folks and it will probably
happen to Mexican folks in the next 30 years. Cheap labor is America’s best
friend.

Back to Rap music. The fact that Rap City was canceled reminded me
of all the programming that was once on BET that is no longer shown
such as Rap City, Teen Summit, Midnight Love and BET Nightly News.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t look to television for social justice or spiritual
up lift, but there is something especially gully about willingly canceling
all programming thing that may have some social value beyond promoting
consumption.

Black people stay loving/supporting those who don’t love them back.