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Detroit and Black Labor

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I have a thing for Wise Jalapeno chips, so I went to the bodega
to get some the other day, and ended up in a conversation with a
neighborhood man who was old enough to be my father, about
Philly and Detroit.

He mentioned that his son is at Temple. He asked me if I went to
Temple, I said no, but that I had visited Philly this summer, that
I had friends that went to Temple and that the row homes there
were beautiful. He explained to me where his son lived and
how its wild for the night there. I was like, yeah, some parts
of Philly, Oakland , Chicago and DC have murders that approach
New York from the 1980’s style. I added
that I was delighted to see all this attention being
being shined on Detroit recently, as I have always had a soft
space in my heart for the city.

When I mentioned Detroit, he lit up and told me that he had been
to Detroit recently and that the men were just “wondering around
aimlessly.” I guess he thought I was about to trash black men.

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I mentioned that Detroit, like many other cities were
left for death after deindustrialization and the crack era.

That it is a place with roughly only a million people but it was
built for 5 million. Finally, I added that when the system we live
in has decided that your labor is no longer needed you are left
for dead.

I know he was like, “No more talking to sassy black girls in bodegas.”

I will not blame individuals for status, when it has been
made clear by the economic and politcal system that
they are only useful as warm bodies to fill a prison.

Black labor used to be needed and simultaneously
resented, then it was Chinese labor, now its Mexican labor.
Any guesses on whose next? I didn’t say that to him,
but it is what I thought.

Detroit?
The Bail Out?
If We Nationalize the Banks and the Cars,
then Why NOT HEALTHCARE?

Michelle Wallace and Illmatic

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The World Is Yours (Remix)

Rare is the person who can conceptualize the hood,
in all its pain, beauty and promise.

Two pieces that do this are Nas’s Illmatic and
Michele Wallaces, Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman.
Whats strikes me about both pieces is that they illicit an
emotional response. In addition, Black Macho is particularly
moving because Michele focuses on how gender influences
the lives of Black women in urban environments. She writes,

Now I want you to picture a little black girl in a jungle
that has no tigers and lions, but poverty, ignorance,
welfare centers, tenements, rats, roaches, inadequate
schools, malevolent teachers, pimps, Forty Second Streets,
heroin, hypodermic needles and methadone, opportunistic
preachers and community leaders, a narrow range of career
possibilities , always impending pregnancies, sterilization
and illogical court system, and two races of men who prey
upon her as sexual chattel and a beast of burden. And
suppose that behind this black girl, there was a whole
string of little black girls who had faced this same jungle
with their imaginary advantages and been defeated. Would
it not be an act of unkindness, of extreme justice really, to
tell her that she was a woman of strengths, of exceptional
opportunities.

Any one of the above mentioned phenomena, my seem
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needles and methadone, opportunistic preachers and
community leaders, a narrow range of career possibilities”
are taken together, it becomes very clear exactly what some
young black women are facing in their day to day lives.

Looking at the The World is Yours video isn’t a reminder of what
young men and women in Harlem, Detroit, Oakland and Philly
are facing, yet I do feel a sense of urgency when watching it.
It’s not that the jack moves portrayed feel intense, its the foreshadowing,
the moment right before that has me on needles while I watch it.
This video 4 minutes of 49 seconds of sheer grimeyness.

On the song Memory Lane Nas opens, giving a description
of the hood that came to mind while reading the above
Michelle Wallace passage. He raps,

I rap for listeners, blunt heads, fly ladies and prisoners
Hennessey holders and old school niggas,
then I be dissin a unofficial that smoke woolie thai
I dropped out of Kooley High, gassed up by a cokehead cutie pie
Jungle survivor, fuck who’s the liver
My man put the battery in my back, a difference from Energizer
Sentence begins indented with formality
duration’s infinite, moneywise or physiology
 Poetry, that’s a part of me, retardedly bop
I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop, straight off the block
I reminisce on park jams, my man was shot for his sheep coat
Chocolate blunts make me see him drop in my weed smoke
It’s real, grew up in trife life, did times or white lines

Both Nas’s and Michelle are saying I present
to you the stories of some folks who are trying
to survive in a world, stories of folks who have been told
at every turn that their survival is irrelevant.

This is why both of these two pieces move me.

Wow. I think this was an actual thugs, feminist and boom
bap post. Nice.

Sweeter Than Ben and Jerry’s

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All Clips Gaffled from Grand Good

I saw Tribe at a Rock the Vote Concert in ’96, somewhere
in the boonies of California.

I don’t remember them being so pleasurable to watch
as Qtip is in the above clip.

I hate sterile hip hop shows, where people stand around
like they are bored at an industry party.

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I now wish I went to the concert. Fail.

I bought, with cash, every Count Bass D cd that I own,
which is about three of them.

Dead at “If you had to stop doing it, Im doing this for you.”

Truest thang I heard all day.

Happy Holidays Blog fam.

~m.

Not Gone Be Able to Do: The Love Below

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Matthew and (Re)nina
Forte Green, Brooklyn June 2008

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It’s been about a month since my relationship ended, or -if you
will, changed.

I have never known a human being that I could spend five
or six consecutive days with and not want to kill them after
day 3, or be enraged at them, or see the roots of resentment
growing like weeds. The days would be productive, filled with
reading, writing, meals and mashing.

This was my relationship with Matthew, previously known has
Filthy Dubois.

When the end velocity started, at first I thought there was someone
else, and then I learned that it was us. Ironically, in the midst of
the all this, young SJ an ex and dear friend from Texas, called
me out the blue and apologized for being angry at me for how
things ended between he and I. We hadn’t spoken in months.

So we are talking, and he hears the trembling in my voice and
I let on what was happening and in a moment of eerie clarity, he
said, “Wow, I did the same thing to you.” Meaning that he let a lot
of time lapse before telling me that he was having major
problems with the relationship. He waited until he couldn’t
take it any more and decided that it was over. I was grateful for
the fact that he made the connection, sad for the fact that it
was true.

My girls are optimistic. I am neutral and here is why, both
Matthew and I believe that love is being willing to extend
yourself for the spiritual growth of another person. If we both
love each other, but want different commitments then I have
to let him go. As much as I don’t want to, I have to. To do anything
else is to be greedy and to try and assert my will over the will
of what is. That’s not extending myself, that’s trying to control it.
That’s not my job. Resisting it requires praying almost 5 times a day,
no lie. But I do it.

We may work or exert courage in directions other than toward spiritual growth. and for this reason all work and courage is not love. But since it requires an extension of ourselves, love is always either work or courage. If an act is not one of work or courage, then it is not an act of love. There are no exceptions.
from The Road Less Traveled

We have been in contact, albeit limited (while writing this, ironically
I received a long e-mail from him.) Through this haze, he has
coached me through school application deadline madness, assisted
me with my writing sample and offered to read my personal
statement (along with 5 other people- hi Mean Sexy, Jonzey and
Songee.)

We were friends before, and in many ways, the evidence of that
part of the relationship is bright and clear. In many ways, having
a friendship basis, makes all of this that much more
difficult. Sometimes, I just wanna shake ’em, like dude, how
can you say that it has never been like this with anyone else
before, but commence to putting it on pause. But I hold
back, because if this is what he believes has been willed to be,
then I can only respect that. I still be wanting to shake him tho.
However, I’m sure I wouldn’t want any dude pressing me if I
was like, “Nah ock, I’m not where you are and I need to move
around.“

That being said, human bonds are incredible. In many ways
this turbulence with him has shown me the strength of other
bonds in my life. And not just the strength of the bonds, but that
once created, they never go away. For me, that idea has always
been abstract, but now that I have seen it operate in my life in real time,
I have experienced how it works. It is in coming to understand these
bonds, and the bumpiness of this relationship that I am learning
how to fall back gently, and not just cut him off. Which is what I
have seen people do, time and again, in my biological family.

In early December, Matthew and I had a sort of peace inducing
conversation. Then record scratch, I woke up a few days later, livid.
It came to me that I stepped to him in July about feeling over committed.
Instead of saying something to him, I could have been scandalous
and just kept it to myself and commenced to lining up back ups.

However, human beings are not objects, or positions, that
can’t be lined up. I have also been reminded that to expect
someone to do something that I know how to do is short sighted
and unfair. People come to you with the tools that they have.
I was angry that I had the courage not only to feel it, BUT to share,
whereas, he didn’t. It felt like he was on the take. I knew that there
was a risk me saying to him, “Aye blood, I feel over committed” and
upon reflection, I realize that I felt that he was selfish in being
unwilling to take the same risk with me.

All it required was “Ne, I’m having second thoughts.” Subsequently,
when I brought this up he has apologized profusely, and said
that he didn’t know how to say it at the time. Lord knows that there
are things that I haven’t known how to do in the past, like manage
my anger, which has helped me to kill not one, but two relationships.
I understand that he didn’t know how to say it, I have forgiven him.

“Truth or reality is avoided when it is painful. We can revise
our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome
that pain. To have such discipline, we must be totally dedicated
to truth. That is to say that we must always hold truth, as best
we can determine it, to be more important, more vital to
our self-interest, than our comfort.” From The Road Less Traveled

Looking back, I have changed over the course of the relationship and
I am grateful for it. My writing voice is clearer, I have a far more nuanced
understanding of how much of what we see in society is rooted in
history, and my recovery game (in terms of being related to people
with addictions), has been taken up a notch.

I have also resolved to pursuing writing and school work that is
self directed and in line with who I am and what I believe in.

Yet and still, the cold Christmas and colder New Years has me
light weight shook. But, it just reminds me to be in the moment.

Besides, there is always 2009!

I bet this post was a surprise. Wink. Nod. Wink.

Advice for New Bloggers: How to Build Your Readership

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Readership is built, reader by reader. I was reminded
of this last Thursday. I was waiting for the train, and a man
made small talk with me while we waited on the platform.
Once the train arrived and we sat down he proceeded to
inquire about what I “did”, then told me he had a 9 to 5
and a business. I reached in my bag to get my lotion and
started to put some on my hands. He reached into his bag and
did the same, and said “Why should we give our money to Duane
Reade when we could buy our products independently?”
His lotion smelled like cherry-apple. I don’t do cherry-apple.

If there is one thing that I am particular about it is lotion. I like fancy
lotion and its one of the major indulgences that I will probably
always allow for myself.

That being said, he took out his catalog, asked me if I finished
holiday shopping, I told him no, that I was looking for something
for my six year old nephew. The man proceeded to show me a catalog with
telescopes. I just shook my head at him with a big smile and said,
“I would never buy a telescope for a six year old.”

He then asked me whether I would be intersted in shopping
with him this holiday season. I responded flatly, no.

It was clear to me that this salesmen knew very little about building
relationships. He would have been much better served by making
small talk. He could have tried to make a connection with me
about something and then handed me his card, telling me that he has a
small business and that if I was interested in supporting an
entrepreneur and using some great products to contact him.
He decided to try and sell first, then get consent later. A no-no.

This incident inspired me to share what I have learned about
blogging over the last three years.

Know Your Audience
I write about a very niche yet intersectional topic, Thugs,
Feminist and Boom Bap. Restriction on the intake of alcohol is must for the health of blood vessels, it is not difficult for speculating that vitamin D deficiency can actually play a role in http://www.devensec.com/meetings/ROD_5_22_18_signed.pdf buy levitra without prescription heart disease and cancer. Therefore, it is clear that a stress-free male tadalafil online pharmacy personality is likely to have great sexual health. The company had an official launch this past January in Atlanta, Georgia. generic order viagra The primary reason that so many brands of the same medication you can surely find them in cheaper prices from the generic online pharmacy stores saving you a lot on medical expenses and at the same time, there are other sexual concerns, which can curb the ability to make love. viagra sales uk This translates into urban Culture,
Feminism, Hip Hop, Gender, Politics in general, Political
economy specifically, The law, and Black artistic culture.

Some are interested in just the feminist discourse,
others in hip hop, some in the gender talk and finally others
in the intersection of all of the above.
That being said, people do not always agree with what I
have to say. Trust, they e-mail and tell me. But, what they do
say is that they appreciate what I have said.

The lotion salesmen did not know is audience.

Ask You Readers What They Want
Every once in a while, I will ask folks what they want me to
write about. Recently I did this and a couple of people
e-mailed me and said they wanted to me write about
“How to Be in Pain and Not Fall Apart.” This, of course
was difficult to write. However, yesterday, I was surprise to
received a thank you e-mail, which was a month after I wrote
the original piece.

Follow Your Numbers
I check my links on Technorati, Site Meter and Feed Burner
almost every other day. From looking at this I learned that I
get a lot of traffic on issues pertaining to Black women and
the Black female body. Because of this I take time to write
about the Black female body in popular culture. This has
included essays on Venus and Serena Williams,
a post titled “Thick Women Rock” and finally a post titled,
“Buffy the Body is Venus Hottentott.”

I also get a lot of referrals from a piece I wrote called “The
100 Worst High Schools in America“, which has me wondering
whether there should be a follow up post where people write in
and compare their schools from a student centered point of view.

Visit Other Sites
Visit other sites and leave comments. Its genuine. It gets your
voice out there and it is a great way to drive links back to your site.

Do NOT Asked to Be Linked To
This can be tricky. If other people like your content they will link to you.
I will link to people in a post if I think my readers may be interested,
or as a show of support for the site. Asking can be perceived as being tacky,
unless you have already linked and it is clear that the folks who read at
your requestee’s site would like the content on your site as well.
If someone links to you, thank them. I try and do so every time I see
myself linked somewhere.

Talk About What You Know
I talk to other bloggers about how specific my niche is.
The feedback has been that specific is fine because
people will come to you to hear about the new Kanye
album, but will stay to hear you talk about the financial
crisis or the price of gas.

That being said, paying attention to these six things
should enhance your readership.

Try out some of the tips and let me know how they
turn out for you.