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I Can’t Listen to Nas.

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I can’t. I try to listen to it.

I wake up. Talk to god.

Make the oatmeal and coffee. A song pops into my head.

And then I wanna hear it. But the bug out is since I have moved,
I haven’t really BEEN into a listening to hip hop mood,
because everything is in transition.

Haven’t really been feeling the notion of background music.
Which means I am in a grip of pain, because, dude, Imma b-girl.

What IS a b-girl without music? A f*cking ghost.

The music that I was pumping last spring and fall, would be an instant
mental-all-bad trigger. Like f*ck. How did all this sh*t happen to me!?!?!?

My living space AIN’T what I had in BK. The fly studio. The bk Bridge at my back door.

Straight luxurious macking for a Black Lady. Smell me. So when I try and listen to NAS. That sh*t takes me back to last fall, and I can’t fade it.

Takes me back to breaking up with your Boy BL.

Full disclosure. I listened to HH is Dead and The Clipes on a 4 hour loop
on the bus ride from DC to NY. Your boy BL (do a site search “BL” for the
background) got me heated right before finals.

So rather than self destruct, I got outta town and on the way back
became intimately familiar with HH is Dead and Keys Open Doors.

So.

I am trying to piece together a play list that doesn’t contain
emotional f*cking landmines. So far, I got Rakim, Al Green,
My Jay-Z list. Now for long time readers, yall know I just got
into Jay, hard core this summer.

He illustrates what I struggle with when I consider where I am coming
from and where I am going.

I can always listen to Jay when I need inspiration, but Dear Summer is corrupted on
Itunes.

Hate that sh*t.

I think imma go to my momma house and get my running shoes and start running by these damn hills and mountains.
ALSO would require another play list. Maybe I could just run to Ciara.

But then again, I mean. They significantly allow erection when man is stimulated and sexually active. levitra properien It is an uninterrupted conversation between self, earth, and tadalafil 20mg india cosmos unless there is anxiety/fear in your life. But, a man may also suffer from the lack of ability orden 50mg viagra to develop or else maintain an erection of extremely high quality or nothing at all. This organ has the ability to make you feel inferior or confident, depending on its levitra overnight shipping state. I could pump The Clipse. But The Clipse and the Bay don’t match up to me.

So I got Rakim. Al Green.
I needs that new Common and that new Kweli.

I might just say f*ck it and pump Midnight Marauders like a Tweaker.
Oh oh, I know, Operation Doomsday, and MM. That will work.
That should take me at least through the end of the month.


But then again, Kweli might have what I need right now.
Some good story telling. Some gutt punching beats.

Holy sh*t. I know what I need. Erykah’s first jawn, Baduizm. That will be perfect.
Xcactly what I need in my life right now.

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What are some albums/songs that you can’t listen
to because they remind of a time period that is too
in the f*cking gristle for you to think about?

((((( Somebody lemme hold Baduizm and Dear Summer. Wait Jay now
after a “creative” google search. Now I just need Erykah. Pu-leaze!
readingiswhite@yahoo.com))))

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Comments

  1. Always.Funky.Fresh says

    I’ve lurked here before, never commented so today’s a first. I was telling someone the other day…whenever I hear anything off the first Big Pun album, I freeze, which sucks because it’s classic but it takes me back to that time.

    Love the blog.

  2. M.Dot. says

    Glad you stopped by.

    I never even owned that Pun Joint.

    I think Imma get Joell Ortiz.

    Just to support Up Town.

    Plus he is a rappers rapper.

  3. T DOT says

    Roots – Game Theory
    When it dropped last year, I was going through a lot too. Finished college, Make up to Break up, Grandpa got a stroke (survived but still.), “Clock with No Hands” still cuts deep. The whole album is genius and dark, and came out at the right time. But I can’t listen to it, puts me right back in that mood.

    ——————–

    Again, you know I got you M deezy.

    Baduizm: http://www.megaupload.com/sa/?d=N7TEYYP5

  4. M.Dot. says

    The whole album is genius and dark
    ========

    What a perfect description of an album.

    ========

    Smiles Really Big so the Gap Teef shine through.

    Aye Bay Bay.

    Thank you.

  5. The Minority Reporter says

    Oh gosh….Tweet’s Southern Hummingbird…dope cd…but I was going through too much during that time in my life.

    I used to feel that way about Mama’s Gun too but then I realized that if Silly E Badu could grow to World Wide Underground I could too

    and I’m commenting from a real computer this time

    naw tell ya mama that!!!!

  6. M.Dot. says

    Why somebody say momma’s gun was the best one?

    Guess I needs me that one too.

    ^^^Don’t you love black people and their double positives.

  9. She Hate Me says

    Coming from one of the biggest Jay Stans there is (is “Stan” able to be used in ’07? Oh well, I did it anyway.), after the breakup between me and the BM, I couldn’t listen to The Blueprint.

    But everytime I was around her and I had the opportunity, I was bumping The Black Album.

    “Either love me, or leave me alone…”

    Jay has that ability to put you in the zone, trill talk.

  11. M.Dot. says

    T-dot.

    I messed up the Badu download and now I am locked out.

    Can you send it via mega upload?

    Puleeease.

    They got me waiting like 200 minutes. Ignorant bullshit.

  15. stephen says

    I can’t think of any album I CAN’T listen to b/c too in the gristle.

    The first Foreign Exchange takes me back to studying for the bar in summer ’05. Plus “The Listening.” But they actually helped me get through a really rough time (no job, got dumped, studying for the bar). A few months ago I even got a chance to thank Yazarah for her work on the album.

    Second thought, scratch that.

    “Kingdom Come.” I met this chick I worked w/ and she was a Jay fan. I didn’t like the album on GP. After we stopped talking, I hated the album even more.

    Thank God the album already sucked.

    Dag, I’m chillin’ at work as if I don’t have a letter to write…

  17. M.Dot. says

    Dang.

    Old gurl turn you off to Kingdom Come.

    Lost Ones is that truth on a whole other level.

    In fact, that was one of my BL break up theme songs.

    “Ok, so make another m.dot”…..

    Between that Piano, and Christte Michelles goddies, All BAd.

  18. neo says

    Well right now there’s this R&B mix an ex made for me, I’ve attempted listening to it but eeehh..sometimes it just doesn’t work…its getting better now tho, however..just give it time..

  20. J!!! says

    yo.

    heads have been commenting your site like crazy lately.

    glad to see your getting alot of love. its about time to transition from a faceless name to an internet celebrity soon.

    im in FLA and its hot as hell. trying to figure out what job i want to take on. i have a choice but i dont wanna do anything shitty. so im just kickin it for now.

    i feel you on not being to listen to certaqin stuff cause its causes bad mental triggers. i barely been listenin to rap since i got down here. ‘cept for when im in the bar or club and its out of my hands.’

    shit is so much different than in the norfff

  22. lightdigga says

    “hey You” by Floetry

    the line that makes me cry every single i hear it is “hey you, you. i sorry that i had to leave you but i’ll try to come back someday.” even typing that shit got me watery.

    that song and a couple others from that album (which i can’t remember the name of) it takes me to summer after my father passed away. i was walking around nyc dazed and confused, crying up a quiet storm. dang.

  23. M.Dot. says

    i was walking around nyc dazed and confused, crying up a quiet storm. dang.
    =========
    Blood.

    We buddied up right after that.

    Dag!

    Thats bugged.

    We have “history”.

    Lol.

    Why your boy “q-rstuv” e-mail me.

  24. M.Dot. says

    j……..

    Glad to see that your move is crackin.

    glad to see your getting alot of love. its about time to transition from a faceless name to an internet celebrity soon.
    =======
    I think about it all the time.
    But then.
    That wall of privacy is priceless.
    Nah mean.

  27. Queens Knitting Mama says

    Hi Sweetie,

    Praying and thinking positive thoughts your way. Hang in there! I believe in you.
    Stay with the happy tunes!

    XOXOXO
    Sonya

  30. Anonymous says

    Mary J. Blige – My Life (R.I.P. Ma)

    Mary J. Blige – Mary (I hate you, but I love you…)

  31. M.Dot. says

    Dude.

    The MY LIFE ALBUM.

    Album so good.
    But mary hurt so bad.

    Why the artist that be in pain make
    the baddest sh*t.
    Mary. Marvin. Fridah. Basquiat.

    I think S.bot my daggon My Life Album.

    That is PRECISLY WHY I NEVER LET PEOPLE BORROW MY CD’s.

    “M.dot can I borrow Doom”.

    “No, I don’t wanna ruin my friendship with you.”

    “How?”

    If you lose it or damage it it will severly impact our friendship.”

    “Ok.”

  32. Queens Knitting Mama says

    Pain sometimes brings the best creativity out of people. Most great artists made their best work while in pain.

    Mary J’s songs does hurt so bad but it makes you fight harder. Happy Sunday.

    Sonya

  33. M.Dot. says

    happy sunday songee.

    Just came from church in Oakland.

    THAT was An S’perience!

    How is your sunday?

  37. the prisoner's wife says

    OMG…i would be LOST without Nasir!!

    you know what’s crazy, tho? i can listen to EVERYTHING even tho it may hurt. i like to revisit the hurt (i’m a dummy) and try to figure out ways to make it better (in my mind, of course).

    i flinch when i listen to Sizzla…that’s beloved’s fire right there.

    i get a little uneasy when i listen to Maxwell’s “Embrya”…i was in so much LIKE with this dude, he put me on to that album. God..i still think of him, what we said to each other…how he played me softly…how i wish i woulda…

    ahh well…yeah. i feel you, but you need some Nasty in your life.

    (btw: i am diggin Kwa’s joint. “In the Mood” was on my loop the whole time i was upstate..)

  38. Jennifer says

    De La Soul is Dead album is one my favorite all time hip hop albums! Fun and Free.

    And of course anything that A Tribe Called Quest has done is classic.

    I cannot listen to today’s hip hop unless it has a conscious touch to it.

    Great blog. Had me rolling.

    Check out: http://www.last.fm

    Need your energy there.