For Colored Girls Who Considered Love….

Courtesy of @RichieFresh

Two weeks ago, I was out.  I wasn’t even suppose to be. However, I came across #Aquemini. Luminous eyes and June born. #Pow. I introduced myself to him and he kissed my cheek. Then he turned around and kissed Greeneye’s hand. I couldn’t let THAT ‘ish slide.

So we are chatting.  So I say, “Honey, can I share something with you, um, it’s not cool that you kiss women without their permission, I don’t really want anyone putting their mouth on me if I don’t know them.” He responded, “Well, I was just being a gentleman.” I said, ” I get it, you were trying to be, but honestly when a woman wants you to kiss her, she will let you know.”

He then left for a bit. Then came back. I was impressed. Why? Because men are socialized to resent being challenged by women, let alone a woman in public.

We chat a bit more, then he leaves and I go on about my night.

This Saturday, I am up, bagged packed full of books, at the brunch spot working on my lesson plan waiting for Greeneyes to come meet me.

And in he walks. #Aquemini. I was like, ummm, this is an interesting development. He invites me to come sit with him. I mention that I wanted to talk to him further when I last saw him but the circumstances didn’t permit. I tell him that he struck me because after I said something about the kissing without consent, he came back. That spoke to me about his willingness to listen and learn.

So boom, here we go, Greeneyes comes, and we are all eating and chopping it up. The energy is intense honey.

He keeps saying that he has met me before, and I am like blood no you didn’t, then I shared what @Afrolicious said about meeting somewhere else before we met here. It clicked. She was right. He ain’t believe me, but I understood.

What do I say, where do I begin?

Well the first thing is that we did a two step to Crown Royal on Ice at 4pm in the afternoon. Muerte.

The second thing is that I have never in my life hung out with someone who spoke to EVERYONE, joked laughed, entertained, yet I never once felt like I was getting played, like I wasn’t being attended to. You know how you be out with people and they got wondering eye balls and they be over associating? Well, #Aquemini was marinating both around us and with me. For instance, he was like “I like the natural color of your mouth, the way the color changes from the bottom to the top.” Who says things like this? Furthermore, there was a group of folks visiting from out of town, three women and two men. He gave ALL the women nick names, was chopping it up with the fellas. Again, it takes a certain kind of person to be out with a lady friend, engage with entire groups of people and holding both down.

Greeneyes later said, man hanging with ya’ll was like being in a hot air balloon, and I felt her. I had to come down from it yesterday and bury my face in books for five hours last night. o.O
This is not to say we didn’t have a gender moment. So there was some point in the afternoon where cats, including him were being homophobic, saying no homo this, pause that. After everyone left I was like “Honey, you should know something about me. I do not tolerate that kind of language. In fact I find it just as offensive as when White folks say racist things around me.” I went on to say, “In the future, if that happens, Imma speak up, walk away, or both.” He tried to do the “I make fun of everyone” excuse. And of course that doesn’t matter to me, because when White folks say it its a cop out as well. Besides words have power, and bodies have histories. He listened to me and said “Renina, I know of other people who think like you do. I hear you.” #sawooon.

To be clear, I do not like feeling like I am being surveilled. I relish my autonomy. However, on this day I marinated in being with, even for a day. One of the women said, “Girl, I don’t know how you deal with him, how long ya’ll been together?”  I was like. “This is my second time seeing him ever in life.” o.O

The most absurd shit about the whole day. He stated that he adored me and would like to get off into my world, but contended that based on some of the demands in his life right now, he would fall back. I’m like nooooooooooooooooooooooooo #Aquemini.

In saw his heart, and I know he is angry and when he stops being angry, and forgives himself he will have more room for Love. But that is between him and his Jesus. Can’t no one make me do anything that I don’t want to, so I know better than to try and make others do the same.

I woke up with Bilal in my head. The joint is quite appropro and prolly will be on my byrd until I run into him again. #GodHelpusAll. #CantWaituntilSaturday. On the low.


Can you believe this?

Crown Royal on Ice two stepping?

Talking to other women but not violating?

Gemini’s be a handful, but they be on point honey.

How Oakland Brought Me #Aquemini

On Saturday, I met #Aquemini.

I was posted up, waiting for someone, doing me. He then spoke, and asked if I was a professor. I had just come from writing the midterm and reading so I had a bag of books next to my chair. I responded no, I am a teacher. I asked him if he taught, he said, yes, once. He was a substitute teacher in East Oakland and he was just getting ready to talk shit about the Town and I said, “Baby, I’m from there.”

He responded, “Oh, really.” Yeah, Oakland.

I gave him another look, my undivided attention and said, “When is your birthday.” He stated, “June 11th.” I was like shit.

You are #Aquemini. It sounds really creepy as I write it, but I have been really deliberate about having a Gemini or Aquarius in my life.

I have been so specific about #Aqeumini that A dub walked over and said hello, and I introduced her to him and said girl, he is #aquemini, and she raised her eyebrows like word. Word.

I ask people their birthday’s before their names. Why? I am being purposeful.

So we conversate. Marinate. All that.

He apparently saw me before. And spoke last summer. I asked if I was nice. Sometimes I shut it down. He said yeah, “You were nice, but it was clear that I were reading your book and didn’t want to be bothered.” That DO be the case sometimes and I am entitled to that. Time and place for everything, no?

He is currently and anti war lobbyist, adorable and White honey. Like Kevin Costner eye crinkles and everything. As I contemplate the politics of puttering around on that interracial in DC. Man listen.

Black girls pay a social cost when they date someone other then Black men. Because I walk like I have a right to be in the city, the threat of violence is always there. Our current sex/gender system says that women are not entitled to be in public, let alone claim the right to occupy city space publicly. Domination is maintained through violence and the threat of violence.

Ah, but the synchronicity of the night.

So, first there is the Oakland connection. Then some how he brings up Ta-Nehisi’s blog. And I say #ummp.

He says, the man has awesome prose. And I respond saying, well he does, however I had a really public conversation with Ta-Nehisi last fall when he asked whether or not For Colored Girls was a classic at a White publication in front of a largely White audience, even though he hadn’t read the book since he was a teenager. #Ummp.

I went on to say that Ta-Nehisi didn’t respond well to being challenged intellectually around his gender politics, and I am referring to his willingness to read a Black feminist text to broaden his analysis, and that I found this unwillingness to be problematic.

He was like, what “That was you” and kinda put his hand over his mouth like “Oh Shit.”  I answered yes. Now see, this is surreal because I am not use to my work preceding me.

Further it speaks to importance of remembering that your words go places that YOU don’t go.

Lastly he has done work in South Africa around the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. You and I both know I Love me some TRC’s. So. Um. Yeah.

I can’t call it.

Oh. And I don’t think we exchanged info. #Extra. So Yeah. #Aquemini. Holler @cha girl. You know where to find me @2:26 sec.

#BoomandPow

#VulnerableyFearless

Can you believe that East Oakland ‘ish?

Peace to the Gemini’s.