On Being Honest and Saying No.


I finally laid it down with SD on Friday. He saw me and wanted to sip and I said sure. But we needed to talk first.

I basically said listen, I need to get off this ride. I adore you, we have a lot in common but you come at me like you want to have your foot wedging a door open. You see, last time I saw him, he didn’t speak, then rolled up a few minutes later taumbout, yeah I just wanted to say hello. I was like the fuck? In his defense we did just start back speaking, but I’m like #comeoneson. Be vulnerable. Or stop.

I know me/us, its only a matter of time before something out of pocket jumps off.  #History. Uh. No. I said “I am a gift. We all are. The difference is that some of us see it and walk with that understanding.”

He listened then said his work comes first. Boom. I am grown. I can accept that. I’m on that Bleek Gilliam. My work comes first too, most the time. So I get it. In fact, I have 4 fifteen hour days ahead of me this week.

At the same time,  I ain’t gonna be bopping around thrusting flirts at people I got history with. Energy is powerful and it moves, honey.

I light weight can’t believe I actually said it.

Why? Because the liminal space is comfortable, sorta. Or maybe that’s not it, it is familiar. Ok. #boom. I just knew that I needed to take responsibility for my role.

So I said, I need to make sure I am comfortable and that I feel safe, so if I see you, I may or may not speak. Honestly, after that. I felt free. And it makes sense because the next day, at brunch, I ran into #Aquemini.

Keep the path clean.

The Original. #Aquemini.

And peep game, when I asked @afrolicious on Friday, what was going in the spiritual dimension of Wisconsin, she mentioned that well, things happen in that dimension first then we see them on the human level. I know I just looked at the phone and was like she be taking this #blackgirlsarefromthefuture ‘ish to a whole other level. However. I was suspect until….Saturday confirmed for me that she was right when I ran into the original #Aquemini at brunch…….you don’t know about my biggie wars. In fact it was quite pleasurable. Talk about becoming Janie

Do you believe that when one door closes another one opens?

Why people stay in your system until you ready to let them go?

How do you muster up the courage to have conversations you would rather avoid?

Comments

  1. “Do you believe that when one door closes another one opens?”
    Goodness, I hope so.

    “Why people stay in your system until you ready to let them go?”
    Sigh. Getting my first taste of this. It’s hard to just shut down those feelings in an instant.

    “How do you muster up the courage to have conversations you would rather avoid?”
    Write about it first. Talk to friends/family first. Go out and take photos first. Those sorts of things…

  2. “Why people stay in your system until you ready to let them go?”

    This type of thought never ceases to amaze me. I’ve reflected on it many times. I feel that when our system (physically, psychologically, and spirituality)connects to another system, it allows and creates a new space in our system for the binding of two energies. Once our system is adjusted..it’s then a challenging task to continue the day to day activities without having that supported energy…just knowing it’s not there anymore is difficult.
    I realized that we tend to deny or put aside that person’s energy..we try to force ourselves to forget..unnaturally. Is it worth it? our system will know when it’s ready to let go-after it prepared itself like another thing in life.