Speaking to Jonzey Saturday I brought up the video of Regis touching Nicki’s behind on Live with Regis and Kelly (@1:42 sec). Listen to him say “looks like you are wearing a little strap there.” #sideeye
Jonzey responded saying, “I have thoughts about it, and they are different from yours.” Isn’t it awesome when your friends ALREADY BE KNOWING your arguments?
She argued that because Nicki Minaj holds herself out there as a sexual object, with hyper cartoonish hair colors and provocative clothing, then she will be treated like a sexual object.
I bit my lip and thought, she is right I disagree.
So I responded, wait, that same rationale is used to justify raping women. The argument goes, well, she is a ho, she wasn’t wearing panties, she asked to be raped. Jonzey said it wasn’t analogous. She is right, it ISN’T analogous, but the thinking is the same in that it places responsibility on the person acting, not the recipient of a non consensual touch.
I then asked her about the Adrian Brody kissing Halle Berry at the Oscars. She said, no that wasn’t the same because of how Halle holds herself out there.
She then brought up Diana Ross fondling Kim’s breast at at the VMA’s in 1999, 11 years ago.
And I asked if that was analgous to Regis touching Nicki and she said yes.
I bit my tongue.
Then finally said, “Girrlllllllllll. You know Imma have to write about this conversation. You know I don’t agree with you about this. I routinely get treated like a sex worker in the streets, especially in the summer time.”
I continued, “No one has the right to touch me, unless I consent to it, regardless of what I am wearing. That goes for Nicki and Kim or whomever.”
Besides, historically Black women have been seen, as a result of the ideologies of slavery as “Natural Ho’s” and most of rap music nor representations of Black women as hypersexual or invisible or as mammies certainly hasn’t helped in terms of refuting this.
While I do acknowledge that the we DO control the ways in which we present ourselves to the world, we cannot control how people read us (as queer, as sex workers, as men who are a smidgen too feminine) and the risks of this can be violence. More about that here.
So um no.
Adrian Brody wrong.
Diana Ross wrong.
Don’t touch me/us.
Oh and for more context. Peep this old post “Buffy the Body is Venus Hottentott.”
Moya wrote about this too @ Crunkfeminists.
Women’s Media Center sent out a open letter to Regis. One paragraph caught my eye,
“A highly toxic media environment and sexual harassment in workplaces, streets, and public spaces is a daily reality for women in the United States. Sexual objectification and harassment in the media injures individual women and perpetuates this climate.”
You see the video?
What do you think?
Do women who hold themselves out as sexual beings invite and consent to being touched?
If yes, do Black men, by virtue of being born Black and Male invite and consent to being touched by police?Share on Facebook