Black Girl Rule #1: Love the People Who Love You Back

Eves Bayou

Today I saw an friend. An old school homie. A woman who knows me and my business AND my momma ‘nem business.

We don’t speak.

We have fallen out twice and I have decided to leave it be.

Its odd and awkward. But that’s fine. We grown. A little discomfort ain’t never killed nobody.? I would be lying if I didn’t say that it would BE NICE to be friends.

We have known each other since we were 18. We know hella people in common and have seen each other through some hard times. But if it don’t fit don’t force it.

I also saw another friend today who had a hard week. Her job is janky, her boo thang situation is janky and she hasn’t had the time to devote to her art.

Artist get some kinda way when they can’t work on they work.

Tonight I snapped at her. I was houngary. I turn into a little Black girl gremlin when I don’t eat.

I apologized and said that I know that she is having a hard time, and that my goal was to leave her feeling the same or feeling better, but not worse. I said that I take being her friend seriously.

When I left her tonight I hugged her and told her that I loved her and that I am glad that she is alive.

Yes, its sentimental and over the top but you know what, sometimes people need to hear that shit explicitly.

Often times it is knowing that someone Loves us that keeps going.

After she got off the train I realized that Black girl rule number one is to Love the people who Love us back. This means leaving the folks alone who don’t want to be bothered.

This can be a boo thang or a homie. Or and old friend who you have fallen out with twice.

You want to fuck up your self esteem? Chase after a negro man or woman who don’t want you? Done that. Im cool.

#BlackgirlsarefromtheFuturesotheydon’tdothatshitin2010.

You leave anyone alone lately?

You speak when you see each other?

Sometimes historical friendships be just that, history.

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Comments

  1. says

    “When I left her tonight I hugged her and told her that I loved her and that I am glad that she is alive.

    Yes, its sentimental and over the top but you know what, sometimes people need to hear that shit explicitly.”

    I didn’t find that sentimental or over the top at all. It needed to be heard and said. I’m glad we’re friends.

  2. msdailey says

    Have been leaving someone alone by default, I guess.

    After the passing of my dad, one of my cousins that im close to has not reached out to me since the service. She is my 1st cousin, her mom and my dad siblings.

    Yes I’m feeling kind of a way about it. Yes he was your uncle but he was my Dad. So a line here and there a txt, email something, you ok? Would be nice.

    But it hasn’t happen since August, 3 months.

    I’m leaving it alone, I will not break this time, I will not be the 1st one to reach out.

    It sucks tho, b/c then I dont get to speak to my youngest god daughter. Me and her older daughter kick it all the time.

    Good post.

    Everybody needs love and need to know and be told that they are Loved!!

  3. says

    “You want to fuck up your self esteem? Chase after a negro man or woman who don?t want you? Done that. Im cool.”

    LOL That was my favorite part! I’ve learned a valuable lesson about loving those who love you back after leaving those who really loved me to be with someone who really didn’t love me at all. I left my friends, family, and network for this fool thinking it would be cool to start a whole new life. Wrong idea. Seeing everyone welcome me back with open arms after being stranded in a city with no one to turn to just reminds me how loved I am at home and to build on positive relationships, rather than leaving them behind.

  4. Renina says

    Little bear!

    This one is for you honey. Glad to see you making your tracks.
    That’s grown woman shit. Live and learn honey.
    Its okay for life to get janky. Just don’t wallow in it.

    You are too awesome for that.

    Love,
    Renina