Real Spit. #Oakland

I am so Glad my mother is alive today.

Some shit went down in Oakland that I can’t get into and I think that much of the subtext of distress/anger I been feeling this week has to do with the fact that it is only by God’s grace that a bullet ain’t strike her.

That she is still alive.

As many of you know I was working on a proposal to study the impact of Crack on Oakland specifically but cities in general.

In one of my classes, one of my peers asked me the “so what” question.

The “so what” question is basically “who should give a fuck about the fact that you are doing this” question. It is reasonable. Right?

But peep game, this woman’s project was four condom. Meaning that she censored herself out of desire of be published.

People without heart need to stay out my face. #OnEverything.

Trust. I want to be published however, I am not gone compromise my heart to do it. I am the person that has to live with that shit every day, not anyone else.

And if I do compromise myself to do it, I ain’t gonna be up in people face ‘taumbout the “so what” question.

In class, a colleague spoke up for me, because I honestly was in shock and ain’t know what to say.

She said that my project has meaning for people who are interested in:

Drug Reform

Violence? as a Public Health Issue

Drug Policy

Race, Gender and Drug Policy

Race and Public Policy

Modern US? City History

The Crack Epidemic and the Global Economy


For me. Violence is a feminist project. Violence is a huge part of my work because so much of where I come from is marked by it.

My mother’s experience reminds me.

I am glad she is alive. I almost ain’t have my mother, and it kinda got me fucked up.

Thank you for reading.


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  1. Biany says

    Hey ‘nina bear!!

    i admire your courage in telling this story. folks love to throw the ‘so what’ question but they really wanna ask who cares. and sometimes all it takes is someone else to advocate for you. and sometimes they dont need you to say shit.

    i think the so what question is useful but when folks fail to really ask this question b/c its guided by their biases. how can we not see the importance of studyingthe crack epidemic. this being so important to US history. and I agree violence is a feminist project I hear that!!! Kudos sis!!

    happy to hear your mom is safe and alive.

  2. says

    Biany Bear.

    #ummp. Thank you you for your comment. This happened waaaay back in May and I been meaning to write about it. I guess I did when I needed to eh?

    I am better re-moms.Just had to remember that I didn’t cause it, can’t control it nore cure it, but damn if it ain’t hard to admit that sometimes. Feel me.

    So yeah.

    I just left you a message. Holler @ me.


  3. Gar'land says

    next time she ask sum dumb -ish like that give that “B” and intellectual two piece. Or let me come through and do it for you.

  4. Renina says

    Dang this the first time you left a comment on the new jawn.

    Oh, side eyeing you and that “B”…you knew I would…you know me.